Murky Water at Coldridge
by SlipperyQuill
Summary: Bella's twin, Jasper, convinces her to live as a boy and take his place at the elite Coldridge Academy while he chases his dreams. With ardent hopes of finally joining a swim team, can Bella make it in a boarding school where Edward Cullen rules the water?
1. A Fool's Plan

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or its characters.**

**BPV:**

I cut through the water, allowing its comfort to literally wash over me as I submerged, lifted, and re-submerged my head in time with my frog kicks. The water frothed around my lean form while I strained to complete the last lap in record time.

Water rippled. Bubbles filled my vision. Waves rocked the indoor pool.

My arms moved surely yet gracefully, and after one last propulsive kick, I could see the wall.

My breaststrokes gained strength. My kicks grew stronger.

I burst forward and stretched out both arms, bringing my shoulders in level with the surface of the water.

Both my palms finally rested firmly against the stone wall.

"Hell yeah!" I shouted and punched the air. The adrenaline continued coursing through my veins.

Gasping for breath, I located Alice seated atop the lifeguard's perch with the timer in her small hands.

"So?" I asked. "What's the verdict, Masen?"

"It's Cullen now!" she shouted. "I've been adopted. Seriously, you can try and get that straight after three years."

I grabbed the railing and swung my dripping body onto the deck. Water poured from my hair as I threw off my swimming cap. I left a wet trail in my wake as my drenched body made its own way towards the pixy-like creature on her celestial throne. The pool was deserted tonight.

"I am not amused," I said both loudly and in one breath, and then I exhaled slowly. "Did I, or did I not, break my breaststroke record for five laps?"

Alice looked down upon me seriously. She glanced at the timer. She looked at me. She glanced at the timer. Then she grabbed the ladder and climbed down. Feet firmly on deck, she looked me in the eye and began her chicken dance.

I took that as a "Yes, Bella, you are awesome."

"WOOHOO!" I screamed. "TAKE THAT COACH CLAPP, YOU CHAUVINISTIC, BOORISH PIECE OF MAN!"

I moonwalked around Alice as we celebrated in the only way we deemed worthy of such success.

Alice squawked so realistically these days. We were definitely going to be friends forever.

"Alright, girl, let's go get you dry." Alice slung an arm around my shoulder, but as we walked towards the locker room, she seemed to slip slowly into thought, and her eyes lost their characteristic luster.

I gave her the time I knew she needed before prodding.

Stepping out of a stall in the ladies' locker room, I folded my body beside her on a dry bench.

I glanced at Alice's downturned head. Her short, raven hair was artfully arranged with diamond clips and pins. Her slender, waiflike figure gave her an almost ethereal appearance, but I knew she was made of delicate flesh and bone. When she suffered, her heart bled just like any other.

The quiet hummed until she turned to me; the melancholy poured from her large blue eyes.

"Have you talked to Jasper today?" she asked me.

"No," I said carefully. My twin brother had been oddly busy these past few months. Most of his personal time was spent with Alice, his girlfriend.

She smiled then, but the smile wobbled like it was threatening to fall off her face. "He has some good news."

* * *

"Dad, I am going to Spain," Jasper announced resolutely at the kitchen table the next morning.

Charlie's fork clattered on his plate. A piece of omelet hung loosely from his lips but dropped as his mouth widened. His eyes seared into my brother's honey-brown irises.

Sue's head flitted back and forth as she glanced between the two proud Swans. Sue was dad's second wife. We all sensed that a violent, animalistic encounter might not be far away.

After a long moment, Charlie leaned back and scoffed. "For how long?" he asked quietly—dangerously quietly. "And with what money?"

"A year," my twin answered.

I gasped as an image of Alice's teary eyes swam in my memory. She had not told me the news yesterday. She kept Japer's confidence, but told me to be wary.

The room was eerily silent for a moment.

"And I'm going with my own money" Jasper continued. "I won a scholarship to an acting school in Madrid. They'll pay for everything. I'll even earn the equivalent of an American high school diploma. This will look great on a college application, and I'll be doing what I love." His head rose higher.

Knowing Jasper's intense hatred for confrontation, I was impressed.

But Charlie clearly was not.

"Over your dead body, son," he said. "We have spent a good fraction of our life savings paying your tuition to Coldridge Academy, and you will graduate there this year. Acting is not for you. Summer is almost over. You'll be practical and take advantage of Coldridge's reputation." Charlie leaned back in his chair and continued, "Getting into Harvard or Yale will be relatively easy with your grades and abilities."

"I don't want to be a lawyer, Dad! Or a doctor or a damn CPA. I want to act. I'm good. Really good. If you took the time to know me, you would know that."

Oh, hell no.

Charlie's chair crashed on the floor. His face was an unhealthy shade of crimson, and his jaw was clenched so tightly I was afraid it would shatter.

"DAMN IT, JASPER! All I have done has been for you and your future. How dare you accuse me of not caring about you! You are staying at Coldridge, and that is the end of it!"

Charlie stomped out of the room. He grabbed his holster and keys on the way out. I believe I rightfully feared for the lives of everyone he would come into contact with that day. The police station would not be a happy place with the chief so riled up.

I leaned over to put an arm around my brother. He leaned his head on my shoulder. Softly, Jasper said to the broken seat on the floor, "I didn't say you don't care about me. I said you don't know me."

* * *

My heart broke every day that week. Jasper and Charlie fought over everything. I snuck into my brother's room at night and snuggled into bed with him. We were both eighteen, but we didn't care. At age 2, when absolutely no one could tell our identical forms apart, we had made a promise: If comfort was needed, we didn't need anyone else to provide it.

Alice was Jasper's exception, and I accepted that.

Bravely, she threw a blanket of invisibility over her despondence and remained her bubbly self in Jasper's presence. They practically mauled theme parks and scoured malls in search of a way to pass the dwindling days together. Both attended Coldridge during the academic year, and I knew Alice would feel Jasper's absence acutely if he did leave. And if he didn't, her heart would break along with his.

I always did hate a Catch-22.

Well, for my part, I attended a public high school. Charlie was never so concerned with my education. He earned enough to pay for only one child's tuition to private school, and he chose the boy. Though Charlie always cared less for me than he did for Jasper, his disinterest allowed me a freedom Jasper was denied. Coldridge was meant to pave the way towards a bright future, or so I was told. A small boarding school in Boston, this place had walls like Yale and teachers as tough as those in Harvard, or so I was told. It accepted only a hundred students per grade with the total enrollment never exceeding four hundred. That I knew for sure.

But best of all, Coldridge Academy had the top swim team in the entire nation. Or the top men's team anyway. Their girl's team was reputable as well, but it was the men who won title after title. However, last year, I heard from Alice that they took second in nationals. Apparently, it was a huge blow to the team. I didn't know much regarding this team or any other because I refused to follow high school sports games. I made the decision in anger after Coach Clapp refused to allow a girl on his swim team. I was not even allowed a tryout by that prejudiced, pig-nosed excuse for a human being.

Tonight, I planned to convince Charlie to allow Jasper's trip. Jasper worked for months perfecting his application video. My hold on my own dream of swimming professionally was tenuous at best, and I knew the burning sensation of clutching your fists together tightly but feeling your dreams float away like vapor through your fingers.

I had no real plan, but I knew I would never forgive myself for retreating in fear from the big, bad chief.

However, as I was walking down the hall on the second floor, a hand grabbed my hoodie and tugged me into a room. The door slammed behind me, and I was pushed up against it as Jasper and Alice stared at me intensely.

Utterly confused, I was speechless.

Alice poked my cheek. Then she patted my long hair. Oddly, she ogled my admittedly tiny breasts. She even jiggled them a bit. The pixy finally turned to my brother.

"I could make it work," she said. "I've never done it before. Obviously. But I could. She's my best friend. It should be interesting at least. I don't know what others will think."

What the freak?

"Yeah," Jasper said. "There's a first time for everything."

"I am so out of here," I said, grasping at the doorknob in panic. "The sun has dissolved your brains. Yeah, that's it. You cerebral cortexes are malfunctioning or some shit."

Jasper grabbed my shoulders. "Sis! Chill out. What has got you so spooked?"

"Um, for one thing, your indication of interest in incest? Damn that was a lot of assonance. Um….Crap. Look, you know I love you guys—."

I shut up as I noticed their mouths dropped in shock. In a euphoric split second, I realized I had been overreacting.

Thank-friggin-goodness.

Jasper took a step backwards. "That's just wrong," he said.

Alice, on the other hand, burst into laughter.

"Yeah, Bella," she said in a deep voice. "Oh, the things I wanna do to you." She even licked her lips. Demon pixy.

"Well, what was I supposed to think after that forced entrance? And the fondling? Huh, Alice? Did my boobs pass inspection?" I asked.

"Oh, they passed inspection all right," Alice said. She took a step forward, lazily licking her lips again.

Okay, once more this had grown disturbing.

"Shut it, little one," Jasper said sweetly. He slung the giggling creature across his back and headed for his bed. I thought I saw him squeeze her ass before placing her on the comforter. Ew.

Fuck, what is going on here?

Since I was wondering, I asked, "Fuck, what is going on here?"

Jasper looked up at me sheepishly. His almond-shaped eyes were an exact replica of my own. I can say that because I am three seconds older.

"Bells, I need a favor," Jasper said. He was avoiding eye contact. He gathered Alice into his lap and leaned against his headboard. Ultimately, they glanced up and faced me. "It's a huge favor. Huge. But it would mean the world to me."

I cocked my head to the side. Jasper never asked favors, especially from me. He was the giver and my protector. He may as well have been the elder Swan twin.

I smiled reassuringly. "I'm listening, bro."

He paused before speaking. "Be me for a year," he said.

I blinked.

Then I blinked again.

I blinked a third time for good measure.

"I lack a cock," I finally said as if that were the only point about his request that confused me.

The couple simply blushed. Now, that was odd.

"Bella, I'm serious," Jasper said. "You look exactly like me. Think about it. I know I'm slightly girly and gangly. My face is only a bit rounder than yours. Remember Lindsay Lohan in _Parent Trap_? We look more alike than she and her computerized twin. I mean it was Lohan and herself in the same scenes made possible through technological means, but…yeah…we're better twins." He scratched his mop of short hair nervously.

Someone must have clubbed me over the head. I never felt this stupid. My sparkling GPA can attest to that. But what was he asking?

Alice took the cue and jumped into my arms. She pulled back from me to say, "Long proposal short: Jasper will go to Spain. You will go to Coldridge disguised as Jasper. You tell Charlie you miss Renee and want to complete high school in Arizona. We know he and Sue never talk to her, so you're all clear."

She smiled, and I wondered if she was on any controlled substances.

"But I'm a girl," I said slowly.

"Yeah, but cut your hair or wear a wig, and you're a boy!"

I tried not to be insulted.

"And my diploma?" I said through gritted teeth.

"You know my adoptive dad is the principal at Coldridge. I'll hack the system after you graduate and get your records to say Bella Swan instead of Jasper Swan. No biggie. Jasper gets a diploma. You get a diploma. Win-win!" the pixie said. Then she clapped her hands. "I have a feeling this is the best course of action."

Did I mention this demon creature has "feelings" that always end up right? No? Well, she's a freak of nature on whom I've grown to rely. Fuck. I don't even want to know how she learned to hack computer systems.

Jasper finally looked at me again. "Bells?" he asked carefully. "Please."

* * *

I promised to consider their proposal.

And I did. For an entire week.

Yeah, I was getting nowhere.

Finally, Alice pulled out the big guns, um, so to speak.

"You can finally join a swim team," she cooed in my ear. "The men's swim team."

My head snapped up like a seesaw when something huge falls on one side of it.

"So, Bella, ready to ride life on the fast pool lane?"

* * *

Alice sweetened the deal by promising to take me to the pool where members of the Coldridge swim team practiced for fun during the summer. I didn't ask how she knew of such things. Frankly, such answers from Alice could be frightening.

We headed to an extremely crowded public pool. The noise was deafening as children splashed and adults chattered.

Alice and I headed for the stands by the pool, where we would be offered a full view of the water and its current occupants.

Once seated, Alice leaned towards me and pointed to the lane on our farthest left.

I watched the figure she indicated as he sped down the lane. Speeding is rarely applicable to the butterfly, but this swimmer was moving as elegantly and sinfully fast as Michael Phelps. His long muscled arms slashed through the water, and the motion of his legs seemed so graceful, he could be mistaken for a dolphin in the sea.

My jaw touched the floor in admiration as I thought of how the butterfly is the only stroke which troubles me. This man made it appear effortless. I think I was halfway in love already.

He pulled his cap-covered head above water and touched both palms fluidly to the wall for a stylish finish. Alice thrust a timer before my eyes.

"That's for his last lap," she said.

I glanced at the glowing numbers.

Then I glanced back at the swimmer.

I hoped he was as ugly as Tyler Crowley. Otherwise, my heart was so screwed.

* * *

**A/N: This is an idea I have been having fun playing around with. I already have the second chapter written. Depending on the response to this chapter, I will begin posting new chapters on a regular basis. **

**I will post Chapter 2 this week.  
**

**Review if you want an update!**


	2. Feeling Foolish

I watched, entranced, as he rose from the water. My brain was on slow motion, and I felt slightly delirious. No one ever affected me this way. No one.

But Adonis held me spellbound as he entered the world of the dry. He was wet, long, and delicious. And I'm sure that applied to every part of him.

Wearing a Speedo jammer, his body was covered only from mid-waist to knees, and I stared shamelessly at his lean chest. The fabric devotedly clung to all the sinew and muscle of his thighs.

When he removed his goggles and swimming cap, I sighed like a fool. Somewhere in the background, Alice giggled.

Then the guy looked up and waved.

If I were an iota less confident, I would have begun hyperventilating. But I was wearing my favorite bikini, so I managed to continue converting oxygen to carbon dioxide. Somewhat normally.

"Get a grip, Bella," Alice said. "He's waving to me not you."

What the fuck?

"That's my brother."

Oh, okay then. Wait, what the fuck?

"I should have mentioned I have a twin too, huh? We're fraternal though, so we look really different. Let's go before he comes over. We don't necessarily want him remembering that Jasper has a twin sister."

She grabbed my arm and dragged me towards the locker rooms, but I put my weight on my feet and resisted the spiky-haired liar.

"We are best friends," I managed to say when she turned to look at me. "Yet you forgot to tell me you have a fuckhot twin brother? You deserve to be drawn and quartered. Or taken to the time of the French Revolution and turned in as an aristocrat! Maybe I should—."

"Miss?" a voice asked from behind me.

"—kick you so hard that your genitals are disfigured—."

"Hello, brother!" Alice squeaked.

I froze. The world was going down in flames. I was sure of it.

Meanwhile, Alice nudged me in an effort to turn my body around towards the angel in a swimsuit. But I refused to thaw. My pride was melting as it was.

"Alice, is this Bella?" he asked. The voice was like water: comforting, familiar, and beautiful.

I tensed even further.

Alice smiled at me. Then the little traitor pulled me around with her surprising, pixy-derived strength.

"Yeah, Edward, this is my best friend Bella," she said. "She visited me for years in the orphanage, remember?"

Reluctantly, I lifted my heavy head. Edward was tall, even taller than my 5'8''. Longer than six feet, he had the stunningly chiseled face of a marble sculpture, and his porcelain skin was so flawless I wondered if he could be human. His drenched, dark bangs clung to his forehead before he raked a hand through his hair to tame the messy locks. While wet, I could not determine their natural color. Water poured from his body as he stood there panting slightly from exertion. My eyes longed to rake over his entire body, to drink in this man before me like I never thought I could desire to know any man, but his face and its expression had me immobilized. As I gazed into his gemlike green eyes, I was thrust into memories of the past.

Year ago, my middle school class was taken on a trip to a small orphanage. It was the Friday before Mother's Day, and the school meant to spark appreciation in students for their parents. I entered a small room filled with children of various ages and glanced around. The walls were a dreary gray, and the ugly toys on the floor lay broken and disregarded. My head hurt as the depressing atmosphere sucked me into its numbing vortex of nothingness.

But in the midst of all that grey, a girl in the corner was bouncing up and down in her seat while singing softly.

Loss hung like the ropes of the gallows from her stunning blue eyes, but the ephemeral joy in her upturned lips was a stark contrast to her thinness and misery.

I stared at her for a minute until she looked my way. Her smile grew until it bloomed into a grin. Thinking that this weird field trip might actually turn out fun, I took a step towards her, but a little boy reached her first.

She looked at him and bowed her head in an oddly submissive gesture. He was clearly younger than she was, but she allowed him to pull her ponytail viciously. Silent tears trailed down her gaunt cheeks, and I darted across the room. I pulled the little boy away and took her frail, shuddering body into my arms. I would later learn that this girl named Alice was my age, but she looked years younger and alarmingly smaller.

As I rocked her, I noticed a different young boy to my left. The dim light in the room flickered, and I blinked. His arm was lifted as if reaching out to the girl in my arms. His hair was dirty and mussed, and I thought he must have been on his way to help too. Jade green eyes locked with mine, and I remember staring into their depths for a full minute before I could tear my gaze away.

Now, I realized I was staring right back into them. But they were deeper. More intense.

Something in my core shook, and my lower lip trembled.

"I remember, Alice," he said, looking straight at me. A corner of his mouth crooked upwards, and he quickly pressed his soft, full lips to my burning forehead.

My eyes widened, and my breathing sped. His sweet greeting should feel awkward or abrupt for a first meeting, but I tingled all over as he just smiled warmly and turned to Alice. At that point, the blush on my body must have covered me like the paint on a fire hydrant. I felt like he had branded an "X" on my forehead, and the mark would never fade.

He hugged Alice lightly in her swimsuit, careful not to soak her, and then Edward left without another word. His V-shaped body flexed as he headed towards the water. At the edge, he stepped back before diving into the deep end. He entered the water so perfectly that he barely disturbed it. Scarcely any waves or bubbles marked the spot in the pool where his feet disappeared last. I could not have described my feelings in that moment if anyone bothered to ask. My heart stuttered, my lips shivered, and my eyelids fluttered ridiculously rapidly. The staccato beat of my pulse was like the background music to the climactic scene of a movie.

In a daze, I simply turned to Alice, who had cocked her head expectantly. The glint in her eyes told me she knew what I was about to say.

I inhaled deeply. "Okay, I'm in."

* * *

We told Jasper of my decision when we arrived home, and he gave me a bone-crushing hug in thanks. I wanted to say this was all for him. And mostly it was. But I think Adonis also gave me another great incentive to attend Coldridge.

That night, I lay atop my covers in the summer heat. Sweat glistened on my body, but the energy I was expending was of my mind alone as I thought about the benefits attached to living under the guise of Jasper Swan.

First, I could make Jasper's dream come true.

Second, I could see Alice all throughout the year and not only during holidays when she was allowed to visit home.

Third, I could join a swim team to make my own dreams come as close to true as possible.

Fourth, I could stare at Edward Masen—no, Edward Cullen—in class and maybe in the water where he was clearly in his element.

That last benefit had me drooling in my sleep. I woke up with a tingling between my legs and an odd, clenching feeling somewhere deep in my stomach. I couldn't remember my dream too well, but there had definitely been water, tongue, and skin. Lots of skin.

"Jasper, have you ever met Alice's twin?" I asked later in the day.

"Edward?" he asked, glancing away from his game of Wii to search my face for a brief moment.

I nodded, and he said, "I've seen him around, but he's never made a real effort to get to know me. I think he wants to stay out of Alice's love life." He shrugged, and I left him to his game.

A few hours later, I returned to Jasper's room. Alice sat on his bed with her hands and arms folded. Jasper was sprawled across the floor with one hand in the air, the other clutched to his chest, and his red-rimmed eyes blurry with tears. "Please," he whimpered. "Don't go! You are my better half."

Sobs racked his body, and with what seemed a tremendous effort, he sat up. "Please!" he cried. "Oh, Lord, please, no!"

"So," I said. "Rehearsal looks good."

Jasper turned his head and smiled. "Thanks, I thought so too." With that, he rose to his feet and pulled a bunch of tissues from a box. "You know, I think the lines suck, but the emotion is good."

Alice nodded. "Yeah," she said. "There's a line in there about chinchilla droppings that makes me think the scriptwriter was on crack."

Jasper nodded solemnly. "Very true."

I chuckled and sat on the bed. I put my head in Alice's lap, and we watched Jasper practice his lines for a summer drama club production.

At one point, he lifted his arms to the heavens. "Oh, Beatrice, I am nothing without your sweet pussy."

"Now I know you did not just slip that in there for fun!" Alice screeched.

I rolled my eyes.

Jasper handed over the screenplay, and we both glanced at the words to which my twin pointed. "Well, fuck me if that isn't an actual line," Alice said in surprise.

"Gladly," Jasper breathed.

I threw up in my mouth a little.

Alice smiled and said, "The character is referring to a pussycat, Bella. Do you believe this garbage?"

"I've seen worse," I replied. I eyed Jasper and we both burst into song,

"Oh, my darling, kiss my hairy ass.  
Oh, my darling, you're such a spaz.  
When we walk to the zoo,  
All I can think is, 'Fuck you, too!'"

Alice fell to the floor in hysterics and rolled around uncontrollably as Jasper and I basked in the glory of our double ridiculousness.

* * *

The weeks passed too quickly, and Alice and Jasper began preparing for two departures. Jasper slyly packed clothing and necessities for Madrid. Alice began shopping for men's clothes, chest bandages, and reliable wigs. She played with thickening my eyebrows and even stuffed various articles into my pants.

"You lack a cock, remember?" she said pertly.

Firmly, I decided not to shorten my hair. It was only mid-back length anyway, and I thought I would lose touch with myself if I truly cut it for an entire year. Acting like a boy and feeling like a boy were two entirely different things. I accepted the former, but the latter would have to fuck itself because I am a girl, danggit!

We practiced my swagger, my voice, and my hand gestures. Apparently putting a hand on my hip when I felt upset was too girly. I was forbidden from carrying anything in the crook of my elbow, and Jasper threatened to flay me alive if I ever used the word "sweetheart" when conversing with a male friend.

"Death," he said. "Do you understand? Slow, painful, and torturously lingering death."

Finally, it was the day we had all dreaded. Jasper, Alice, and I stood outside the airport. Charlie thought I was flying to Arizona, but it was Jasper whose plane would be ascending into the blue sky today.

After Jasper finished sucking Alice's face, though I have to admit their teary farewell was sweet, I hugged his long frame. We were the same height, so I hunched a bit and laid my head on his chest. I looked up into his warm, fraternal eyes.

"Go kick some ass, dear brother," I whispered solemnly. "If you forget me when you're famous, I will make a living selling embarrassing pictures of you to the tabloids."

He smiled down at me, and his chuckle vibrated in his chest. "Okay, but blow my cover and I will eat you alive."

I growled and he hugged me tighter.

When he left, Alice and I clutched each other tightly for a few minutes. Stumbling slightly, we walked slowly towards our waiting taxi. We returned home for our luggage and Alice's car.

We were headed to Coldridge.

* * *

**A/N: Review if you want to motivate me!**


	3. Foolhardy Heart

I emerged from a gas station restroom feeling odd. I attributed the sensation to whatever Alice had stuffed into my boxers. Even feminine underwear was banned to me now, but I did wear plain cotton panties beneath the boxers, so the thing in my pants would not really touch me. So weird. I think it was a warm, rectangular gel pack down there.

My hair lay flat against my scalp under a thin, flesh-colored cap Alice procured from a professional costume artist she knew. The perfect wig Alice found was attached securely to the cap. Thankfully, Jasper wore his hair short, so it would not be too much trouble to wear a swim cap atop the entire mess. Hopefully, my speed would not be too affected either. My breasts were bandaged so tightly, I knew even a fierce hug would not betray my new secret. In addition, my eyebrows looked slightly bushier, my face was scoured clean of makeup, and my male clothes were quite baggy. I knew I looked like exactly Jasper. The thought made me nervous and consequently nauseous.

Although to be fair, Jasper did have a slightly thicker neck and broader shoulders. But looking at me, you would only assume I was a slightly thinner Jasper. My arms and legs were well-muscled and toned from swimming, so I could definitely pass as a lean male.

Walking towards the car, I tried adjusting my gait to match the way Jasper instructed me to move my legs and hips.

"Why are you limping?" Alice asked from behind me.

I turned to face her. "Huh?"

"Are you trying to walk like a dude? If you are, you suck."

I was about to answer, when I spotted a chipped billboard that had the words "Chipiwa High" in bold letters. A random thought occurred to me.

"Oh, crap! Alice, what about my regular high school? I'm still enrolled!" I clutched my hair and felt surprised somewhere in the back of my mind that there was so little hair to tug.

I continued, "And there will be parent-teacher nights and progress reports sent home, too. Fuckity fuck. How did I not realize?"

Alice watched me panic for a few minutes while sucking on a push-pop.

"Bella," she called. "Bella!"

I paused my ranting and raving. A small crowd was staring at me from behind Alice.

Alice shook her head. "How could you doubt me?"

_

* * *

Three weeks ago:_

**APV**

"Hello, Angela Campbell?" I said over the phone. "My name is Alice, and I think you should cancel your plans to see _Despicable Me._ The Twinkie minions are on vacation today. Go shopping in your favorite store instead. Take a friend."

I didn't wait for an answer. Instead, I just hung up with a grin.

The next day, I sat in front of Ms. Campbell in a tiny high school seat. I pasted on my signature sly smile and waited for her to speak. I knew my current expression always unnerved adults.

Angela's eyes darted nervously everywhere. They looked like a pair of panicking fish inside a recently shaken bowl. Angela's fingers tugged at her cuffs, and she shivered slightly behind her massive desk. I would have pitied her sweet, shy nature, but today it would come in handy for Bella and Jasper. Those two were the first people besides Edward to remain willingly by my side for any considerable amount of time. Shuffled around to different families all my life, I valued loyalty more than any other personal trait.

I was forced to learn at a young age that words are meaningless without emotion just as emotions grow meaningless without action. If I cared for someone, I knew I would do anything to see him happy. Even if it drove him far away from me.

Angela finally looked at me. "How did you know?" she whispered. Her body leaned in towards mine, and her eyes widened slightly. She didn't blink. She didn't move. Her skin was so pale I worried for her blood pressure and circulation.

"I just knew," I answered slowly.

"Why did you warn me then?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

She shivered. "Okay. Um. Thank you. I don't know how you could have possibly seen that coming. But I sense there's something you want in return?"

I knew she was clever, and I admired her for it. "Something small. Isabella Swan is my friend, and she is no longer enrolled here. She is eighteen, so her parents are unaware she will be attending a different high school this fall. Just let us know in advance of any school functions and events that parents must attend, and help me copy some grade reports to send home to her parents. If they must come here for something like a conference, just pretend you're her AP English teacher and inform them that she's doing well. Is that alright? I know it's a quite bit to consider, but if you help her, I will watch out for you."

Angela stared at me. She leaned in again. "What do you mean by that last statement?"

"I'll look out for your future and let you know if I see anything you might wish to avoid."

I could almost see her mind working furiously to reach the correct choice. Her eyes flickered with the light of refusal, frustration, determination, and then decision.

My information was much more valuable than hers, and she knew it.

"Okay," she said with a sigh.

* * *

**BPV**

Alice said she had it all sorted out. Again, I decided to leave it at that.

I had once asked her how she managed to get my parking ticket taken care of when she told me not to pay it. I was suspicious that she had covered the cost with her own allowance.

However, when she refused to answer, I called the number on the parking ticket, and the man who picked up put me on hold. When he came back, he said, "The ticket was issued in error, and we take full responsibility for such mistakes. Would you like a theme park voucher?"

I declined, and he offered me a paid trip to the Bahamas.

Yeah, I don't ask Alice many questions anymore.

So, I trusted her assurance that she dealt with the issue of my old high school. By the time we were back in the car, my panic had subsided and was replaced with a block of cement in my stomach. This block was so heavy it could only consist of nervousness.

Within twenty minutes, the high stone walls of Coldridge came into view. It was still early morning, but we had to sign in by noon. The sun's rays cast a sweet glow, and I felt nostalgic although I didn't know what I was longing for. Surprised, I noticed that the small city in which the academy was situated currently teemed with life. Little stores had already awakened. Children played almost carelessly in the streets outside of the old-fashioned shops, adults sat with their friends by café windows, and the sidewalks were crowded with students in uniform.

"Most people arrived yesterday," Alice said. "But I wanted to stay with Jasper as long as possible." She glanced at me with a sad smile, and I pretended not to notice her voice crack as she said his name. My heart still twisted with the knowledge that Jasper would not be around as often, but I was accustomed to seeing him only a few times a year. Alice, on the other hand, rarely spent a week without him.

I occupied myself with ogling the view past the iron gates we were passing through. A long dirt drive paralleled the south side of campus, and as we drove along, Alice pointed out different buildings in the distance. I had memorized them all through the interactive map available online, but they were much grander in reality. Constructed of grey brick and black stone, the buildings exuded a gothic feel. I noticed plenty of arches and pillars that reminded me of early Roman architecture.

The area itself truly looked like a massive forest clearing. Vines crawled artfully along walls and structures. Stunning trees grew so large their multicolored leaves often touched rooftops. So many birds were chirping, I thought my head was ringing. We passed a large fountain, and Alice parked in a small parking structure nearby.

As the man in the relationship now, I grabbed our luggage and dragged it across campus. I felt like grumbling about the injustice but the butterflies in my stomach flapped too wildly for comfort. Speaking coherently, even just to whine, seemed like a chore at the moment.

Coldridge had two dormitories facing each other at the northernmost end of campus. Brandon Hall was for women and Cullen Hall for men. After signing in, Alice and I dragged our luggage to our respective rooms. She waved and disappeared in her building as I stared up at mine.

With a sigh, I made my way up a few flights of stairs. This place was too old-fashioned for elevators. I had even spotted a few turrets.

On the third floor, I looked for my assigned room until I found it. Nervously, I used my key to enter the door labeled 3C. It led into a circular common room furnished with sofas, armchairs, and even a television. The common room connected to three single-person bedrooms. I was the first person here, so I picked the room on the left and plopped atop the bed.

My rest was short-lived.

"Assper!" someone bellowed.

I shot off the bed.

A golden-haired boy walked into my room with a grin. Thanks to Alice, I had everyone's photos and their transcripts memorized. Well, thanks to Alice and my photographic memory. This guy's name was Mike Newton. He had a 3.1 GPA as of last semester, he was a senior on the Lacrosse team, and his great-grandparents paid for the renovations made to the science building fifty years ago.

"So we're roommates this year, huh? Awesome." I thought his enthusiasm was faker than the Pillsbury Dough Boy's giggle. He flopped on my bed.

This place was so small that Jasper said he knew everyone, so I said confidently, "Hi, Mike."

I smiled casually. Would he notice something wrong with me?

He crossed his arms behind his head, and looked at me seriously. My heart beat in fear, but I cocked my head in what I hoped was a nonchalant way of asking, "What the hell are you staring at?"

That's when he got up in my face.

"I've heard the stories, drama boy." He poked me in the chest. "But fuck Alice Cullen like a porn star while I'm next door and there will be hell to pay."

Whoah.

He continued, "In your quest for pussy, you will find that other men don't take kindly to listening to you orgasm, you sick bastard. If I detect any sexually related pounding, groaning, whimpering, or shrieking, then I will show you what it's like to be _properly_ fucked."

He abruptly left the room, and I was left wondering things I would never want answered.

What the heck did Jasper do to Alice last year? And why did Mike touch my hip when he said "_properly _fucked?"

* * *

Alice knocked on my door an hour later, and I pulled her into a hug. I really needed a friend right now. Something about finally being here and unpacking my belongings had unhinged me. The lie had truly begun and I consequently felt like a certifiably fool for believing this plan would work. But I knew this type of thinking would only lead to disaster, so I fought the tears and hugged the shit out of Alice.

She sensed my fear and held me fiercely close in return. After a moment, she nuzzled my neck, and I almost pulled away in slight disgust before I realized that Mike had entered the room.

He sneered and said, "Hey, Alice, wait until you're in Jasper's room before you dry hump him to hell."

I stepped forward to deliver a snarky remark, but Alice gave me a pointed look and placed her hand in the crook of my arm. "Sure," she said to Mike pleasantly. "Jasper can take better care of my needs tonight anyway."

That's when the demon pixy wrapped her arms around me and lovingly stroked my collarbone. I tried not to squirm and mostly succeeded. Mike glared and left the room while muttering about restraining orders and "illicit fucking."

I stared at Alice in shock. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"Mike Newton is gay."

"What?" This could explain so much.

"Yeah, and he's been in love with Jasper forever." My mouth dropped open, and Alice actually looked miffed and bitter. "Don't be surprised if I take every opportunity to freak him out with our love." She rubbed herself against me, and I laughed. This could be seriously interesting if done the right way.

I said, "Sure, Alice, I'm going to hell anyway. Might as well go the whole mile."

"Don't be silly. You're not going to hell. You're going somewhere worse: a high school full of snobs and gossips. Now get in uniform, so we can be on time for the assembly. My dad is giving his annual speech." She looked so proud, my heart warmed. Alice truly deserved a loving family, and Carlisle Cullen had given her just that without any expectations or reservations. Wealthy and single, he ran the academy like a captain runs his ship, and according to Jasper, his concern for his students was evident despite his famously stern demeanor.

I followed Alice's instructions and donned my new uniform. I stuffed the room key into my pocket after pulling on my black pants. Then I tucked in my newly ironed, long sleeved white shirt and straightened the black collar, which had Coldridge's gold emblem on one corner. The final touch to the mandatory uniform was a royal blue tie striped with black, which I struggled with. Alice tightened it properly, and we headed towards the main lecture hall in the biology building. Her uniform consisted of a royal blue skirt with slight ruffles on the edges and a black, long sleeved shirt. Her shirt bore the academy's emblem slightly above the breast.

In the lecture hall, we picked seats towards the back. I took an aisle seat. A few people stopped by to exchange pleasantries with us, but we were mostly left alone. Jasper's main friends from the drama club said hello, and I recognized them all from their visits to our home.

So far so good.

I heard a sharp intake of breath beside me.

"Crap."

"What's that, Alice?" I asked.

"I forgot you're going to have to act."

"What? Isn't that what I've been doing?"

She shook her head and spoke in whisper, "I mean the drama club will obviously think you'll be in their productions. Jasper's almost always the lead!"

My heart took off then. It beat so fast, I thought the world was spinning into a blur of gooey Crayola colors. "No, no, no. I can't, Alice! They'll figure me out in a millisecond."

She looked me sternly in the eye and said, "We'll deal with it. Relax. Smile."

She leaned back in her seat, and pretended the world was not about to come crashing around us.

I took a deep breath and looked around the hall to focus my attention on something other than our impending doom.

Edward Cullen walked through the large double doors to my left, and any thoughts about doom went tumbling out the window.

The blue of his crisp shirt highlighted his beautiful skin and flushed cheeks. Now, I could finally see that his hair was a stunning mixture of bronze and copper. Cut short on the sides, his striking locks were long on the top. When he opened the doors, the moment seemed frozen as the sun shone like a spotlight on his head and shoulders. The rays made the tips of his hair appear honey-gold.

But the moment was ruined when a leggy blond wrapped her arms around his neck and began sucking on his neck right in the doorway. She even slung a leg around his waist for an instant before stepping away.

With a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach, I realized she was the reason Edward looked flushed.

The slut remained glued to his side as the two searched for seats. She waved at the world like she was its queen, and I had an uncharacteristic urge to tear off her nails.

Alice sighed softly. She leaned her head on my shoulder and rubbed my arm comfortingly. To anyone else, she was a girlfriend in love, but in reality, she was soothing my heart.

Alice simply said, "I hate that Tanya."

I knew I possessed no right to feel jealous, but something acidic and nasty was blooming in my stomach, and my heart hurt. Considering that I knew next to nothing about Edward, my feelings were surprising, and for me, they were unprecedented.

I simply felt connected to this man. His meltingly warm green eyes turned my legs into sticks of butter, and after all the gushing Alice had done these past days about his swimming talent, I couldn't help but imagine us in a pool together. I had never shared that part of me with someone, but now I wanted to do just that.

Alice nudged my shoulder with hers and nodded her head towards the raised platform at the front of the long hall. "That's my dad." Her eyes shone with admiration, and not for the first time, I thanked the world for stripping away the traces of loss that once clung to her large blue eyes. Ironically, only fulfillment was left.

Carlisle Cullen was tall, blond, and gorgeous. He stood proud and strong, and his eyes seemed to pierce the room. He reminded me of an eagle who was viewing his kingdom from the skies. The pride in his gaze was unmistakable, but for all the ease he exuded, he definitely did not seem like a man to cross. Somehow, that served to make him more attractive. The girls around me all appeared ready to swoon, and I understood the feeling now that I had met Edward.

Carlisle stepped up to the podium, and the entire hall quieted instantly.

His deep voice flowed coolly through the room. "Hello, students. My name is Carlisle Cullen. As principal of Coldridge Academy, I welcome you to a new year with us. We have many exciting events slated for this semester, and we hope you enjoy your time here as much as possible. This institution is one of the best in the nation, and our strength lies not only in our academics, but also in our unity."

Principal Cullen's head lifted slightly, and he continued, "Most significantly, we house a family. From our professors to the janitorial staff, we are all children of the academy.

"Having said that, I wish to remind the returning students as well as inform the freshman that we adhere to a certain standard of excellence. This is a high school, but you will act with the decorum exhibited by the most prestigious university students. Any misbehavior or failure in the classroom will be taken as a slight to the academy, and I will personally address any serious issues swiftly and, I assure you, severely. Keep your grades up, seek assistance when necessary, and make us proud with your dedication."

Principal Cullen continued his speech for another fifteen minutes, but my attention was directed away from him towards his adoptive son. His seat was positioned in a dark corner a few rows ahead of me. Edward sat with an arm draped across the back of it. I could only see his profile as he whispered something dirty into Tanya's ear. It had to be dirty. Otherwise, the slut wouldn't giggle like that and lick his earlobe.

They progressed into a tongue-fucking session, and I watched feeling both disgusted and immobilized as they groped each other. The world continued moving around me, but I was lost. All I could see was his hand at the nape of her neck.

Finally, Alice pulled me up at the end of the speech.

"Time for dinner," she announced. "You're going to love the cafeteria."

She babbled a bit, but I remained dazed and uncomprehending. Suddenly, she squealed and my mind returned to Earth.

The hall was practically deserted, and Alice was hugging Principal Cullen like he was her favorite teddy bear.

"Daddy, I can't wait until the Annual Winter Dance Competition. Has there been any word on the judges for this year yet?" she asked.

Carlisle patted her back. "No, Ali, but I'll let you know as soon as I hear anything." He turned to me, and I gulped. Those gold eyes were unnerving when directed straight at a person. "And how are you doing, Mr. Swan?"

"Just fine, sir," I answered, deepening my voice. Was I imagining the sudden chill in his tone?

"And have you decided on the universities to which you will be applying, or do you still wish to pursue acting?"

Okay, I was sure he was sneering.

Alice came to my rescue.

"Jaz is keeping his options open, Dad. You know how brilliant he is," she said cheerfully.

Carlisle's gaze finally switched to Alice once more, and he smiled, but his lips were tight. "Yes, well, have a good night, little one. Get your full eight hours of sleep before classes tomorrow."

He kissed her on the forehead and walked through the nearest double doors.

Alice looked at me. "I know what you're thinking, but you have to remember that his aversion is to Jasper and not you. Don't take it personally. He's only looking out for me."

I sighed. "Yeah, I need to remember that when people look at me, they're not really seeing me."

That thought grew more depressing the harder I tried to internalize it.

* * *

On my way back from the cafeteria to Cullen Hall, I was breathing in the night air, and a light smile touched my lips. After mingling more with the students, I felt my confidence growing. I could do this. I would do this. I really believed it. But the greatest test would come tomorrow in the classrooms. I clutched my schedule in my hand and glanced at it every now and then even though my memory already had the page neatly documented into a file in my brain.

As I turned a corner by a building, I heard odd noises floating outside from the nearest window. Concerned, I pressed my face to the glass and squinted. The room was dark and full of chairs. I couldn't see anything, so I opened the closest door with an odd sense of foreboding. In retrospect, I knew I should have continued walking, but a magnet pulled me forward, and my eyes were assaulted with the vision of Tanya on her knees in front of a gasping Edward. His head was thrown back, and his body was shuddering.

Tanya was moaning, and her head was bobbing so fast it made me dizzy.

I felt sick to my bones. The air had turned solid and was constricting around me. My eyes were burning. My heart was shattering. And my brain was freezing. But my legs were pumped with adrenaline.

So I just ran.

* * *

**A/N: Hey, guys! I got this chapter written and posted really quickly, so I am anxious to know what you think! Basically, the stage has been set. Next chapter hasn't been written yet, so more reviews means faster updates! **


	4. NonFoolproof Mouth

I told myself these feelings were insane. I told myself I had no right to feel any negative emotion besides disgust. I even told myself that Edward Cullen was not worth a decent-hearted person's time.

But for some reason, I could not fall asleep that night. My room was large, the windows were opened to welcome in a sweet night breeze, and I lay on a surprisingly comfortable mattress. My body was enveloped by soft, familiar blankets, and despite all this, I felt crushed and nauseous. I felt like a stranger to myself.

My photographic memory had turned on me. The harder I tried to repress the horrible images stored in my brain, the clearer they would surface in my memory. The disturbing snapshots haunted me throughout the night and into the morning.

_Tanya topless and on her knees. Her breasts bouncing as she moved. Edward's pants pooled around his ankles. His hips thrusting, his head thrashing, and his chest heaving. Her long tongue swirling, her wet mouth sucking, and her hideous head bobbing to a hellish beat. Their moans mingling and coalescing to a crescendo._

I banged my head against the headboard. The images wouldn't cease. They haunted like ghosts.

I suspected that they haunted me even more effectively because I was a virgin. I was naïve in almost every sense of the word. I had never regretted my inexperience. Love and sex were mutually inclusive in my mind. I had only ever been on a handful of first dates, and every one of those men lacked something special. My heart never fluttered, and my interest was never piqued. So I remained inexperienced. Therefore, to see those two in the throes of passion and to have their dirty moment somehow become the first sexual encounter of my life was disconcerting and downright painful.

Finally, as the sun began its sluggish rise, a lone tear slipped down my pale cheek. That one droplet carried all my angst and confusion, and it crawled away onto my pillow. My heart hardened slightly, and I rose.

I showered, dressed, and arranged my disguise carefully but dispassionately. I skipped breakfast with Alice and headed straight across campus to its southernmost end, where English classes were held in a large grey building. I walked through the main archway at the entrance, and found the classroom located in the southern wing. I was glad that this would be my first course. Biology, Eurropean history, calculus /combinatorics, Spanish, and physical education would follow later and in that order. Lunch would be at noon between history and mathematics.

All my classes were Advanced Placement.

I nodded respectfully to the teacher at her desk and took a seat. The students' desks were arranged in two large semicircles facing each other. Clearly, this class would be very discussion-based.

I was so early that no one else had arrived yet. But soon, students began milling in.

"Hey, Jasper," a small girl said as she took the seat to my right. Her strawberry blond hair was cut in a high-end bob, and it framed her small face perfectly. If I weren't Jasper, I would have asked for her stylist's number.

She continued speaking, "I loved the summer play. You were clearly immersed in your character, although I have to admit, the writing was so cheesy that I bought a plate of nachos during the intermission. All the same, I can't wait to see your next work!"

"Thanks, Maria," I said, the wheels of my brain turning to place her properly. "Good to see you. Excited about the new year?"

"Yeah, right. I totally can't wait to die from academic hell." She rolled her eyes and took out a notebook. "You know, I saw Mike outside, and he seems pretty happy for his usual sullen self. He says you're roommates?"

"Yeah," I said slowly.

"Well, who else are you rooming with?"

My reply was on the tip of my tongue as I noticed Edward take a seat that faced me diagonally from the other semicircle of desks. He raked his long fingers through his hair, pushing back his bangs and smiling politely at the teacher. I shook my head slightly and turned back to Maria.

"Oh, it's just Theodore Shillings. You know, the musician?"

"Yeah! Of course I know Teddy. We're dating," Maria said. She looked at me oddly, and I knew I had slipped up. My brow felt sweaty.

"Oh, well, since you didn't know he was rooming with me, I just assumed you guys might be apart for a bit. I know a couple Teddys anyway." I scratched my hair nervously and mentally slapped myself, but Maria smiled sweetly.

"Nah, I simply haven't seen him for a couple days. You know what he's like when in the middle of a musical breakthrough. The world must freeze, and only notes can flow through his mind." She shook her head fondly. "That boy is going to break my heart."

Like mine?

"Quiet, everyone," the teacher called. She spoke with a heavy, yet highborn English accent. We turned our heads to see her standing in the middle of our circle with a long pencil in one hand. She tapped it rhythmically against her palm, and images of Tanya's bobbing head flitted across my eyes once more. Ugh.

"Welcome, students. As you may know, my name is Dr. Willsworth."

Fuck, she had a Ph.D. How much did people get paid around here? Should I be calling her professor?

She continued, "I will collect your summer assignments at the end of class. I emailed you all the syllabus in the summer, and I expect you have read the first five chapters of _Pride and Prejudice_. We will begin a discussion shortly, but first, Mr. Cullen has requested a moment for an announcement."

I swallowed and shifted my gaze to see Edward's long frame unfolding itself from a chair and moving to stand beside Dr. Willsworth.

A slight smirk played across his pouty, red lips.

All the girls leaned in with rapt fascination, and the boys were barely any better with their expressions of worship.

Edward looked calmly back at his classmates. His posture was correct but almost lazy, and he held a tightly rolled sheet of paper in his right hand.

"Hello. I know we are all excited to begin the academic year, and as the new captain of the men's swim team—."

The room burst into unexpected applause, and Edward seemed flustered for a moment before he asked for quiet.

"Yes, thank you. Well, I simply wished to inform you that tryouts will be held tomorrow and the day after. Signing up beforehand is mandatory, and to that end, there are posters all around campus. You can even sign up during physical education today. I have a poster with me now, so if anyone would like to take a moment and register, I can pass this around the room."

My palms were sweaty, and my insides were shaking. This was it! Time to chase my own dreams.

Edward took his seat, and it seemed like every boy in the room was rushing to register. Clearly, this team inspired a great degree of respect. Finally, the poster was in my hands, and I felt like I was holding the key to the world, or to my world at least. A wave of energy pulsed through me, and I furiously wrote down my information. When I raised my head to pass the poster to Maria, I noticed Edward finally looking at me.

He was glaring. The look on his face was so full of hatred, I felt like daggers were piercing through my skin. His beautiful eyes had never been directed at me this way. They were so full of warmth in the past, but now that comforting warmth had heated to a roaring fire.

I lowered my head to ignore the blaze, but it's not like looking away from a fire will turn down its heat.

By the end of class, we had simply introduced ourselves shortly and discussed our opinions on the first few chapters of _Pride and Prejudice. _I barely spoke a word even when Edward criticized Lizzy's character, and when I stood in line to turn in my pre-assigned summer papers, I felt _his_ presence burning hotter behind me.

I looked over my shoulder to see Edward staring. I swung my head back around and gulped. I placed my papers on the teacher's desk, and carefully walked away to leave the classroom. I felt like the animal in a hunt. One quick look back showed me a smirking Edward.

My feelings bruised even further.

The rest of the day was simple but exhausting. Classes took their toll but for a different reason than they did for others. While my classmates struggled with the coursework that had already begun to pile up, I was straining not to reveal myself or to burst into tears. Fucking Edward Cullen had no right to mean this much to me!

During lunch, the cafeteria was buzzing as people reacquainted themselves with each other. Mike sidled up next to me and tried to make small talk. He was nice enough, so we sat down to eat, but as soon as I felt a pair of small arms encircle neck, I knew this lunch was about to go to a horrifying yet comedic hell.

Alice kissed my cheek and ran her nose up and down my face. It's a testament to my self control that I didn't pull away. She straddled my lap, and I stole a glance across the table at Mike. He looked even more murderous than Edward in the morning. His fish taco was crushed, and the sour cream was dripping onto the floor.

I experimentally ran my hands up and down Alice's back and stifled a laugh.

But Mike noticed me looking at him, and he desperately struck up a conversation.

"So, Jasper, the Lakers are pretty awesome, huh?"

Alice moaned.

He persisted, "Um, I am starting a new debate team this year. Care to join?"

The demon pixy stuffed her hand in my pants, and I think she squeezed the gel pack. I grunted a fake response and pulled her closer while sliding my hands beneath her ass.

Mike started shaking. "Well—."

"Oh, Alice, harder."

And—

Yes, he was gone. Success!

But—

Edward Cullen was sitting in his place.

Fuck. He was raging.

"Hi, Alice," he cooed.

His expression had gone from heated to icy.

But it was so hot.

I grew wet, and I knew that was all sorts of wrong.

Alice struggled to scramble off my lap, and by the time she was seated next to me and glancing sheepishly at her brother, the temperature had dropped another twenty degrees.

I had no clue what he wanted to say. The tension was so thick I considered removing my jacket to cool off. Would Edward actually say something, or would he just continue to glare forever?

My bruised heart continued its punishing rhythm as it sped even faster.

He finally spoke, "So you two think it is even remotely proper to behave this way in a crowded cafeteria? You think this is proper for the principal's_ daughter_?"

My head pounded, and I spoke without thinking. "Edward," I said sharply.

He stared at me, visibly surprised I had addressed him.

"You should be less concerned with us and more concerned with yourself. What we do is our business."

Edward stood and leaned over the table. "What did you just say to me, drama prince?"

I believe my next words truly rushed forth without any direction from my mind. "I said that a little cuddling is nothing compared to blowjobs in dark classrooms."

Alice gasped and slapped a hand to her mouth. Her little frame shook as she looked back and forth between Edward and me. The fear was plain in her features, but a bit of excitement was evident as well.

Edward just remained frozen. I half expected him to throw a punch, but he held the reign on his control better than I did on mine. Slowly, he straightened his back.

Just before leaving, he seemed to change his mind and turned around to whisper, "See you in the water, Swan."

Fuck, what had I done?

* * *

**A/N: Hey! I know this was short, but I wanted to get it posted. Thanks to all the reviewers, but the number of reviews is really disproportionate to the number of people reading, favoriting, or putting this story on alert. Before I post the next chapter, I want to reach a total of 30 reviews.**

**Can we do that? 3O REVIEWS AND I WILL UPDATE FAST.**

**:) CLICK THAT BUTTON, PEOPLE! **


	5. A Fool's Fantasy

_**A/N:** Hey, all! I said a fast update is what you'd get, and I keep my word. Thank you to the readers and reviewers who came through! I'm counting on you guys for the support to write this fic. This chapter is extra long and extra awesome all for you._

_**IMPORTANT**: Many of you have been wondering about how Bella will get away with wearing a swimsuit. Good question. Well, this is how: a bodyskin swimsuit. For instance, living Olympic legend Michael Phelps was quite fond of his Speedo LZR Racer (here's a link for the pic: _http:/myyearonline (dot) wordpress (dot) com/2008/06/25/_)._

_Such suits are ULTRA tight, so they'll hold down Bella's small breasts without the need for bandages, and they cover the body from the chest all the way to the knees or ankles. Bella will have to sew something small into the crotch though._

_But remember that suits such as Phelp's LZR Racer are now banned in major games because too many swimmers have broken world records while wearing them. This ban is so recent I didn't know of it before writing. But in a fandom where eternity exists, why can't bodyskin swimsuits remain legal?_

_**8o8o8o8o8o8  
**_

I felt as though I were standing inside an oversized kaleidoscope and peering out into a blurry, twisted world that refused to remain still.

I had always been a firm believer in remaining calm. Composure means everything when one hopes to remain successfully in disguise. After all, a moment's weakness can crumble all carefully composed plans.

But when you've insulted the one fuckhot man with the means to grant your dreams, well, composure is neither easy to regain or to fake.

So as I struggled with my gym clothes, nothing could wipe the terror from my face. I changed in a bathroom stall instead of in the locker rooms because Alice promised no one would care as long as I arrived on the field properly attired. My body jerked and shook, and it took five minutes to successfully pull both my feet into the royal blue sweatpants. Every time I moved, Edward's whispered words rang in my ears, but the volume was amplified to such a degree that my heart raced from the epinephrine surging through my bloodstream.

I had acted like a zombie in my last few classes.

Finally, I stood shivering on the track that wrapped around the massive football field. The weather was cloudy, and a bitter chill ran up my spine when an icy wind tore across the area.

The students in my P.E. class hugged their bodies and rubbed their arms for friction as we waited for the coach. At least the weather sided with me today, so I looked normal shivering from panic.

Maria waved slightly and walked over to me. "So, the first day will be a bitch. Ha, I can't believe I said that," she giggled self-consciously.

"No, it's true, I suppose the coach will be pretty tough on us," I said.

"Well, yes, but Cullen is the coach during the first week, or don't you remember?"

I felt like choking but managed to say, "Um, oh yeah, why again?"

Maria cocked her head and smiled. "You're slow today for someone in line to be valedictorian," she chuckled softly but thankfully seemed unsuspicious. "Coach Wilson always comes back from Africa a week after the fall semester begins. She volunteers at a school there, and Principal Cullen really supports her work, so he simply has Edward toughen us up for a few days. You remember how he had us do three grueling miles in 21 minutes or less that first day last fall?"

I swallowed hard and forced a grin. "Oh, it's coming back to me."

This was all I needed: Edward Cullen to beat the shit out of me with the perfect excuse.

In seconds, his voice sliced through the chill.

"The devil has arrived, children. Line up on the track."

Everyone rushed to comply.

Fuck, this was the end. Yeah, my carcass would be splayed out on the quad by twilight—the perfect time of day for creepy shit.

Edward's crooked grin made him appear frightening but authoritative as he stood before us in a form-fitting, white wife beater and baggy black pants. He had a bag of soccer balls slung over his shoulder and an ominous-looking whistle around his neck.

"Coach Wilson isn't around to coddle you all today, so whatever you do, restrain the tears and suck it up," Edward barked. He looked straight at me, and my eyes widened. Oh, fuckin' shit.

He spoke like a military officer crossed with a professor. That made no sense, but hell if it wasn't true. The condescension and discourtesy oozed perfectly from his demeanor. "Stretch well, kiddies. Three and a half miles of wonderfully packed dirt await the pitter patter of your eager little feet."

"Oh, hell no," Maria groaned.

"It's not too bad," I mumbled. "I was expecting five miles."

The whole group deflated like poked balloons, and I sighed before stretching my limbs.

"Alright, on the whistle," Edward shouted. People scrambled off the ground and away from the bleachers to line up. Some were mid-stretch, and one girl went cross-eyed from the pain of rising too fast from her splits.

The whistle blew, and I took off. The first few laps were slow, but as my body remembered the feeling of such wonderful movement, my speed no longer registered with me. The panic and fear subsided, dripping and evaporating along with my sweat. My lungs burned, and my calves screamed from the energy I was expending. But the healthy pain was like a sweet relief from all the stress and drama of my recent life of trickery. Running was like swimming in many ways: cleansing, calming, and numbing.

However, on the last lap, I belatedly realized no one was near me. In fact, they were all practically huddled around Edward and staring at me.

I stopped in shock and stared right back. My heart beat in my ears.

Maria was the first to step forward. "Jasper," she breathed, "you were an eighth of a mile away from breaking two track records. Why'd you stop?"

I hesitantly made my way to the frozen group. Maria stared at me with disbelief and perhaps a hint of indignation. Her voice rose as she said, "You hate running! I mean you were never bad at it or anything, but it might as well have been the bane of your existence."

Crap, I had to fix something else now. Time to lie again.

I spoke, "Running was sort of cathartic for me in the summer, Maria. It got me through tough times. That's why I'm pretty good now."

"Pretty good? Pretty fucking good?" Mike's voice rose from somewhere within the group. "That was the hottest thing I've seen in years."

Chuckles rippled like a wave through the group, and the ice was finally broken.

Everyone slapped me on the back and smiled. I felt oddly warm inside and much better than I had in days. A boy named Tyler made me promise to run with him in the mornings, and a small brunette tried to squeeze my ass when she hugged me in congratulations. I slapped her hand away and probably looked affronted, but she just giggled.

I studiously ignored Edward throughout the whole ordeal.

I breathed a sigh of relief as soon as the bell rang, and I hurried to grab my clothes from the lockers and head to a bathroom.

I stepped out of the restroom in the corner of Sherman Hall when two long arms slapped against the wall behind my neck, effectively caging me in by the bathroom door.

"Oh, my G—," I began.

"No, it's Edward, not a divine being capable of mercy." His eyes were like murky, green acid. They fizzled and smoldered with a toxicity reserved for pure poison. Consequently, my bones turned to jelly, and I was panting in fear.

He smelled my terror, and his lips pulled up in one corner. "So, Jasper, how are we feeling today?"

"Good." My voice was a squeak.

He leaned in closer, and my nerves went haywire as I stared at his lips. He whispered, "Better than good from what I saw on the field. Care to explain your sudden sports finesse?"

"I, um…."

"You, um, what?" his face was practically flat against mine.

"I've always liked sports. I just never really showed it."

"Oh, I see," Edward said sarcastically as he nodded. "The year I finally become captain of the swim team, you decide you want in as well?"

Wait, what? What was this all about? His anger and suspicions made no sense, yet something tugged at the periphery of my brain. Some piece of the puzzle that was Edward Cullen eluded me, and I was both frightened and intrigued.

As a slight tremor rocked through my body, I looked in his eyes and realized that for all his menacing stares, this boy—no, this man—would never physically hurt me. I straightened up and fixed him with a level stare.

"What are you implying?" I said. "Be straight with me because you've lost me."

"Why are you trying out for the team?"

"Why does it piss you off so much?"

He scoffed. "You ran like a pansy during gym last year, boy. What's with the change of heart?"

"What's with your toxic eyes?"

"Fuck it, answer me!" he roared.

I cowered and he stepped away. His head was down, and I saw a flash of vulnerability in his face that vanished as soon as he raised his eyes.

"You have your place. I have mine. I suggest we stay where we are, understood?" He didn't wait for an answer, and I slid miserably to the floor as he stomped down the deserted hallway.

_**8o8o8o8o8o8**_

Sprawled across the couch in my common room, I stared at the ceiling. Mike was probably studying for his upcoming Latin exam in his room even though today had only been the first freaking day of classes. Teddy and Maria were somewhat more relaxed as they sat in front of the plasma television Mike had bought for the place. Their googly eyes and incessant groping threatened to cause spontaneous hyperventilation for us poor-yet-pretending-to-have-a-steamy-sex-life, single people.

I spoke with Alice after P.E., and she just smiled and told me her brother was insane. Why had she never told me about him anyway? When I asked, she simply shrugged. That was her signal to leave the topic alone because I shouldn't want to know the answer—yet again. Therefore, I was suspicious her visions or "feelings" had something to do with her unusual secrecy.

As I counted the odd-shaped dots in the wooden ceiling above me and bitterly stewed over my day, I unknowingly drifted to sleep.

_**8o8o8o8o8o8**_

_I ran a bar of soap across my body in the men's showers. The water cascaded across my naked shoulders, between my breasts, and over my thighs.__ The lights were off, and only a sliver of moonlight offered illumination._

_I shivered when the water turned ice cold. _

_Abruptly, the green shower curtain was pulled open, and a figure slammed me backwards against the white tiles._

"_What the fuck is this?" _

_I recognized Edward's voice, but I could only see his bare chest and arms. He growled in my ear, "What's with the pussy, little one? And these sweet little breasts?"_

_He kneaded my chest so harshly it hurt, but my nipples hardened in response._

_He ground against me, and I could feel the rock-hard bulge in his jeans against my stomach. The hollow between my thighs felt strange and needy. A moan escaped me, and his eyes met mine briefly before he snapped._

_His jeans practically flew to the floor, and his cock thrust inside my core without warning. Muscled arms pulled my legs around his torso before he wrapped me in his tight embrace. He set a furious pace, and I was held immobile and completely unable to respond to him as he pounded me against the wall. He stroked me like a man stokes the embers of a long-dormant fire, and I knew I would burst into flames soon from the unbelievable stimulation._

_His cock felt long and thick, and my body was so deliciously full I couldn't recognize myself. He took me with abandon and pure possessiveness, yet I delighted in every stroke, thrust, and growl that ripped from his heaving chest._

"_Fuck, baby, you're devouring me." He moved so fast then that the pressure felt impossibly high. My body was spiked with some fever-inducing potion, and I felt like I couldn't take this anymore._

_He hissed when I moaned pathetically loudly, and I felt his cock twitch and harden even more inside my burning body. _

"_Please," I whimpered. "Yes, I have to—oh—I can't—oh—PLEASE!"_

_**8o8o8o8o8o8**_

"Please, Jasper!"

I rolled over.

"Jasper! Wake up. You need to stop shouting. You're okay!"

I opened my eyes to see Teddy's concerned face above mine. My body snapped up, and I looked at him in horror. "Uh, I—uh—fell asleep," I said lamely.

"Yeah, dude, I know," he responded. His face was scrunched with anxiety. "Maria left a half hour ago. You were cool until you started screaming. Have you been having nightmares often?"

A blush stung my face with its ferocity. "No, no," I was quick to say. "I think it was just the first day of school. All this stress, you know? Senior year is finally here. Yeah, that's it. The pressure—." I couldn't continue because all I could think of was the pressure—the pressure Edward had forced to a fever pitch in my willing body. I knew my underwear was ridiculously damp by now, and I could only feel grateful I hadn't been moaning Edward's name in my fitful sleep. I was normally pretty tight-lipped.

I squirmed from the wet feeling in my boxers, and Teddy took pity on me when he assumed I was embarrassed of my nightmares.

"Well, I'm going to bed, Jasper. Remember that you'll do fine this year. You and big-boy Cullen are head to head for valedictorian, and no matter what, everyone knows you're going to be super successful. Just get some rest for tomorrow and chill." He smiled reassuringly and left for his room.

I stared at the wall for a moment. Then I sighed and dragged myself into my own room.

Tomorrow would be a very long day.

_**8o8o8o8o8o8**_

I leaned against Cullen Hall while waiting for Alice to emerge from her dorm so I could walk her to class. I had been ignoring my more menial boyfriend duties, and Jasper had said that was a sin for which he would personally punish me. Before leaving for Spain, he promised to call by tonight to check up on both me and the charade, so I was looking forward to telling him about tryouts—whether they went well or if I was butchered.

A good night's rest had calmed my nerves, and a blazing determination flowed through me despite my anxiety over Edward's desire to keep me off the team. If I showed him he needed me, then surely he couldn't reject me. This was a running mantra in my mind meant to keep me sane and hopeful.

A bright yellow leaf swirled around me for a moment before landing on my shoulder. I plucked it and twirled it by the stem. When I noticed Alice approaching, I stuffed it into my pocket.

"Hello, love!" she sang. Pecking me on the cheek, she smiled and leaned back to examine my expression. "Yay, you're feeling better! Well, today is your day after all. Time for some dream-catching." She giggled then, and I blushed, realizing the double-meaning.

"How, Alice?" I asked, mortified at her precognitive abilities.

"Oh, come on, it was about time you had a proper fantasy about you-know-who. And not the dark lord, you naughty nerd! Oh, and it's not like I visually saw the thing. Oh, nasty. That thought needs to go away right now!"

She began hopping around on one foot with her head cocked to one side as if she were shaking water out of her ears.

I couldn't help the laugh that escaped me then, and it took awhile, but when we both composed ourselves, we grabbed some breakfast and headed to Brighton Building, where my English class and Alice's history course were held during first period.

Edward ignored me during the course as well as in AP biology for second period. In the latter class, we were still in the stage of learning all the instruments and reviewing the basics of lab work, so everyone could sit wherever they pleased this week.

European history during third period was wonderful and relaxing for a change. I had the class with Alice, and I enjoyed it yesterday as well because the professor was a sweet European lady named Esme, who insisted we refer to her by her first name. She was stunning with her long caramel-colored hair, oval face, porcelain skin, and almond-shaped gold eyes. She wanted to ensure we had a firm foundation in history, so we began with an introduction to the history of Western civilization spanning from its origins in the Fertile Crescent of Mesopotamia.

"Alright, can anyone tell me the most famous, if not the greatest, contribution of the Sumerian civilization?"

I shot my hand into the air, and Alice giggled in amusement at my eagerness.

When Esme called my name, I said, "That would be writing, Esme, more specifically called Cuneiform, which consisted of wedge shapes and was written on heavy clay tablets by privileged scribes."

Esme smiled. "Correct, Jasper. After all, can you tell me what the word Cuneiform means?"

"Exactly what seems logical. It comes from a word meaning 'wedge-shaped.'"

Her smile grew and she turned to continue writing on the large chalk board.

Alice whispered to me, "This isn't _Jeopardy_. You're such a suck up."

"No," I whispered back. "I just finally have the chance to _ostensibly_ excel in academics. Back at my public school, saying what I just did would have branded me a social outcast."

Alice nodded and rubbed my arm before turning back to the board.

_**8o8o8o8o8o8**_

The rest of the day sped by as I anxiously looked forward to the tryouts at 6 p.m.

Dinner was a tense affair—to put it mildly. I snapped at everything, but Alice remained patient and supportive. When it was time to get ready, my stomach was in knots and Alice was holding me around my shoulders in my room.

"Okay, here's your suit," she finally said, handing me my ridiculously expensive bodyskin swimsuit. It covered my chest and clung to my body all the way down to my knees. The fit was great for a skinny and lean guy. Tight and perfect, the suit flattened my tiny chest so well, I was almost embarrassed to look so much like Jasper. Alice had sewn a bundle of tough fabric on the inner layer of the crotch for me in the summer. We decided I should be relatively well-endowed.

If I was accepted onto the team, I would have to change in the shower cubicles with locks. Alice assured me it would be possible, but for now, I got ready in my room, threw on come clothes atop the swimsuit, grabbed my cap and goggles, and headed to the underground pool in Hale Hall reserved for the two swim teams. Hale Hall was located right next to the English building, so it was to the south and was one of the buildings farthest away from the dorms.

When I arrived with Alice, I was shocked by the Olympic sized pool and immense crowds forming both on the stands as well as by the water. At least fifty students were going to try out today.

This would certainly be tougher than I imagined.

Alice sensed my need to build up my strength in solitude, so she smiled and headed to the stands for a top row seat. I noticed Tanya near her and remembered that she was in my Calculus class. I did not need to think of her at the moment, so I turned away and focused on the water.

The pool was calm and beautiful. I imagined the cool water flowing around me, enveloping me, welcoming me. My body relaxed, and my mind followed suit. I remembered the pool in our backyard at home, where the sun danced across the tiny waves and formed multi-shaded crisscrosses of light on the water's surface. Like always, the water sent a siren's call to my ears, but this particular siren was well-meaning and supportive.

I found myself looking forward to diving into the pool and simply returning to my element.

A loud whistle sounded, and everyone turned to the diving board situated about ten feet above the pool on the other side. The packed bleachers were behind me, and the sixty nervous students in suits were crowded all around me.

On the diving board stood Edward Cullen, gloriously naked from the waist up in his tight jammers, beside a man I assumed was the team coach. Edward clutched a megaphone, and he leaned sideways towards the coach who was speaking in Edward's ear. I could have said Cullen's face was perfectly stoic, but even from this distance, I could see an odd excitement shining from his eyes.

It was quite the turnaround from a couple hours ago in P.E. when his expressions only ranged from agitated to tense. He worked our bodies like we were robots, and if I were not so physically fit, I would be worried about being burned out for the team tryouts. Yet something told me his goal had been just that. All the extra pushups I was ordered to complete due to my "lack of concentration on the soccer field" led me to believe I was right about the attempted sabotage.

Now, he raised the megaphone and said, "Alright. I'm Edward Cullen, the 2010 men's swim team captain. If you didn't register, don't waste our time. The rest of you, break up into ten groups of six and stand in line at the edge of a lane. First up is the 100 meter fly, then the 100 meter breast, 100 free, and the 100 back. We will time each one with a 5 minute break between every 100 meters.

Clearly, this will take a while since only ten people can go at a time, and we have about sixty registered. Afterward, don't forget that we have the 200 meter IM, my personal favorite for tryouts. Your time totals will be summed up by the many timekeepers here just for today to ensure fair judging. But the pool walls have touch pads, so no worries on that count. The 30 lowest times will represent our 30 new members, but remember that one of those spaces is reserved for me." He smirked and handed his megaphone to the coach.

The man was long, buff, and his raven black hair hung straight down to his shoulders. The look in his eyes seemed inhumanly hard and perhaps slightly nasty, but I liked the look of him all the same. This was a man who could shape and chisel a true team.

He spoke, "I'm Coach Drake. And I don't feel like imparting any wise words because you're either in or out, and I just care about those who make the final cut. Now, Edward will be swimming alongside you today to show you how it's done, and also because tradition dictates he has to try out every year along with the fresh meat. Now get in 10 lines. Oh, and good luck to the bastards who get stuck in the outside lanes."

Shit! Everyone all of a sudden pushed and shoved to get in position. One guy elbowed me in the stomach and another stepped on my foot as I headed for the third lane. I belatedly remembered that the first and last lanes are disadvantaged because waves bounce off the sides of the pool and slow down the swimmers fighting against them. Normally, those lanes are kept empty.

I scrambled to get a good spot, but soon all the male assholes had shoved me out of their way, and I was left in the tenth lane with the only other available spot in the first lane. Fuck me, Edward Cullen.

Inwardly groaning, I stood at the edge with five boys behind me in a line. I glanced up to see Cullen's amused eyes shift towards me and land on my face. He walked in my direction, and I felt chilly and fevered once more. His long, muscled arms swung at his sides, and all I could think of was how it felt to be trapped within them while he fucked my body. I remembered how his eyes smoldered, and his muscles tensed. None of it had been real, yet I could swear I knew how perfect and hard his dominating cock felt inside me. It scared me how wonderful it had felt to be tugged and twisted and conquered pretty much like a live sex toy. I knew I wanted sweet and slow too, but maybe I was more attracted to roughness and control.

What was wrong with me anyway? This man could barely stand my existence, let alone want to be with me that way. For all intents and purposes, I was a man, and now Edward seemed almost ready to commit murder as he advanced.

Yet, instead of stopping to threaten me, he turned to the person right beside me at the head of the ninth lane.

"Get in the first lane, Vespucci," Edward ordered.

The boy rushed off and Edward took his place. Then Cullen turned to me and winked. Fuuuuuuuck.

"Okay, people," Coach Drake called. "The first ten of you will show us what you got with the 100 fly. Get ready for the horn."

On time, we all burst into the water, and as soon as we were off, I knew this was not just a tryout anymore. Cullen had turned it into a race.

Sadly, the butterfly was my weakest stroke. With arms shorter than a regular male swimmer, I was already at a disadvantage, and my dolphin kick was only slightly better than average. Edward sped past me, and I struggled with the waves disrupting the water in my lane. The choppiness angered me, and I allowed it to mess with my concentration.

When I touched the wall at the end, I let out a long low curse before turning to the scoreboard.

I was a close ninth, and obviously Cullen was first. To my right, he wasn't even panting. One arm held the pool edge above his head as he leaned against the wall, and he just smiled sweetly at me.

"Okay there, Swan?" he asked.

"I hate the freakin' fly," I growled.

"Well, it certainly hates you."

"Fucker." And I totally meant that expletive.

I dunked my head underwater and stayed beneath the surface for a minute, just gathering my thoughts and strength.

When I emerged, I noticed Edward glancing at the stands. I followed his line of sight, and I could see Alice with a banner that read "Swans Rule the Water." Where did that come from? Had she been carrying a roll of huge butcher paper in her back pocket that I failed to notice? She was chanting Jasper's name at the moment. It was cheesy but really sweet, and I couldn't stifle a chuckle.

I smiled and turned back to the lane ahead of me. Next up was the breaststroke. Now that I could do.

The horn sounded, and I was off once more. In my peripheral vision, I could see Edward neck and neck with me. His strokes were smooth and powerful, but though I was shorter, I was faster. He gained a few feet on me, and I pushed harder. We touched the wall at the 50 meter point and made our turns back to finish the last half of the 100 meter breaststroke.

Edward's turn was smoother, and I found myself lagging.

Fuck, no.

I turned all my attention ahead and focused on moving faster. His arms finished a stroke as mine began a new one. Stroke, stroke, stroke.

We sped towards the touch pad.

Finally, I could see the floating markers change color, signaling the last five meters of the lane. I pushed even more and desperately touched the pad with the tips of my fingers.

The crowd was going crazy, but I didn't know for whom.

I stared at the wall, hesitant to read the scoreboard.

When I turned, my jaw dropped. _Edward and I tied._

Edward was fuming silently beside me.

"Feels weird sharing your pedestal, huh?" I asked.

"Just wait till I push you off," he replied.

I grinned. "So you admit you're sharing?"

"Fucker," he returned tersely.

"That's right, and Alice loves me for it. She said so last night."

His eyes widened, and he just disappeared beneath the water. Oh, fuck, not again with my dang mouth.

I freaked out, splashing around and expecting an underwater attack.

After two minutes, nothing happened.

I relaxed, and that's when he elbowed me in the crotch. I doubled over after a moment, pretending to gasp in pain as Edward emerged in his lane a second later. The bastard had come at me from way below, so no one would suspect him.

"Try getting your rocks off now," Edward smirked.

I tried not to laugh. Really I did. I think my expression just came out looking constipated.

A couple minutes later, Edward had his real vindication by beating me at the backstroke.

I ignored his smug smile and focused on the next round—my favorite style: the free.

During the final 50 meters, I gained a foot on Edward. My arms were fast, and my feet were perfectly in synch. I wasn't concentrating. I was simply lost in the feel of the water, so when I touched the wall and saw my name in the first place position, I felt numbly euphoric.

Edward didn't look upset. His chiseled face was covered with the perfect mask of indifference, so I had to hand it to his control.

Panting heavily, I smiled at Alice in the crowd. She was ecstatic, and her chicken dance looked amazing on top of a bleacher.

I had to leave the water for the next ten hopefuls to take their turn, and as I waited, Coach Drake walked by.

"Good speed, Swan. But your form sucks," he said in passing.

Well, that was probably his idea of a compliment. I smiled and nodded.

Later, the IM, or individual medley, proved extremely tiring. Exhausted, I barely made second place, but I was happy because if I had been neck and neck with Cullen for most of the tryouts, then I figured I had to get a spot on the team. Hopefully, my atrocious time for the butterfly wouldn't ruin my chances, and Edward wouldn't try something underhanded. He may be captain, but I was pretty sure the coach had more of a say in who joins.

If this was a fair trial, then only my time should matter.

I dried off and took a seat next to Alice.

She smiled and wiggled her brows. "Look who just made passionate love with H20!"

"What? Seriously, Alice?" I asked.

"Hey, we both know that if you could fuck water, you totally would."

"Is that your way of congratulating me?"

"Why, yes. I suppose it is." She was very matter-of-fact about it.

"Puppies!" Drake called through the megaphone. "Your times are being tabulated. The scoreboard will name the top 30 in order shortly. I think we'll put up the rest of you too. Just for fun."

I heard some groans. My stomach was suddenly in knots. Was hyperventilation something I could get away with right now?

A second later, the scoreboard changed, and 30 names lit up the screen.

My heart stopped in the second it took to find my name.

Edward was number one. Damien Hale was number 2. Emmet McCarty was number 3. My eyes scrolled farther down the list.

I was number 6 out of 30.

I made it.

And I realized Alice had me in a chokehold.

"You did it! Yay, Jasper!" She rose and started chanting all over again. I couldn't bring myself to ask her to stop.

"Okay," Drake called. "Settle down. SETTLE DOWN, LITTLE CULLEN GIRL!"

Alice sat and waved at him.

Drake continued, "If you didn't make it, try again next year. If you're a senior who didn't make it, I guess this is when you learn life's a bitch. Now, for those of you who don't know, the members of the team live together on the third floor of Damen Hall to promote team spirit. We'll be posting the living arrangements outside Cullen Hall tomorrow morning at 7. Pack up and be ready to move out by tomorrow night, little fish. Oh, and welcome." That last sentence was said quite reluctantly.

_**8o8o8o8o8o**_**8**

Next morning, I eagerly waited for the chart to be posted. The sun had yet to rise, but I was packed and excited to begin this new chapter of time. I hadn't slept the entire night, opting to celebrate the greatest achievement of my life so far with my best friend/false lover. Alice and I just watched old movies and ate popcorn until we passed out.

Bouncing on the balls of my feet, I watched Steven Forester tack a sheet of paper on the wall. He smiled at me and walked away.

I rushed forward to find my name.

_**Name: **Jasper Swan_

_**Room: **377A _

_**Type: **Double—Shared Bath _

_**Move-in Time: **Thursday—Sept. 3—6:30 p.m._

_**Roommate(s):** Edward Cullen  
_

_**8o8o8o8o8o8**_

_**A/N: **This would be no fun if they weren't roommates, right? MWAHAHAHAHAHA._

_Oh, and I won't keep Edward in the dark too long either because that also would not be fun._

_Well, I came through with my promise and updated in only five days, so let's make another deal:_

_Since the last chapter, you gave me 40 reviews. How about we up that to 50?_

_100 REVIEWS total for the next update.  
_

_The more reviews, the longer the chapter and the sooner the update :)_

_**REVIEW, NOW! **_

_please_

_*******Oh, and what do you guys think of next chapter being an EPOV?  
_


	6. Crossing Foolish Lines

**A/N: Hello! Last chapter, I mentioned a Jasper Hale. That was supposed to be Damien Hale, and I've fixed it.**

**In this chapter, Edward gives us a reason why he dislikes Jasper, but this is in no way the main reason, and he knows it.**

**Warning: This chapter gets lemony. Please note the M rating.  
**

**

* * *

**  
EPOV

"What the fuck, Coach? Jasper Swan? You're forcing me into a DOUBLE OCCUPANCY with HIM? Why not Emmet or Damien? I always room with either one or the both of them! I'd rather have a fucking triple than a double with Swam. Point me to Siberia already."

Drake innocently peered at me over his spiky, black reading glasses. "Wow. Well said, young sir. But if I may ask, why are you so outraged by this, Edward?"

"We've been over this. FOR THE PAST FIVE MINUTES. Living with Swan would be awkward. Just let me room with Emmett."

My fucking coach leaned calmly back in his chair. His office appeared abnormally clean at the moment, and I fervently prayed a massive stack of paper would appear in a corner, so I could conveniently knock something over. Perhaps I could proceed to light it on fire. Fuck. I continually paced back and forth in front of Drake's antique, mahogany desk. I would never entirely understand the man. He was a full-fledged water demon, yet he harbored a soft spot for eighteenth century furniture? And he was being uncharacteristically tight-lipped with me right then. Why had he chosen to pair me with the only person in this school whom I despised with an unmatched and unearthly passion?

As rage continued to simmer beneath the surface of my skin, Drake stared at me with amusement.

Finally, he got to the damn point. Or one damn point anyway. He said, "Swan beat more than two-thirds of the new team today. I assume it was his first day in competitive water. How does that make you feel?"

I cracked my knuckles but answered calmly. "Well, he didn't beat _my_ overall time. Are you insinuating that I'm jealous?"

"No," he said, leaning forward and finally taking the conversation seriously. "Oddly enough, I'm not, but something has you hating the boy, and I will not have such resentment existing between members of my team. Live together. Swim together. Learn together. GET THE FUCK ALONG."

His voice rose, but that was Drake for you. The man would not be able to speak in anything resembling a monotone even if he were imitating Japanese.

I scoffed. "You clearly paired me with Swan _before_ I came in here to contest the decision. Why?"

He lifted an eyebrow and nodded in mock salute. "Nicely pointed out. So, I may as well ask you to remember who taught you the way to successfully knock a man in the balls while he is in public, underwater, and expecting it."

_**8o8o8o8o8o**_**8**

I threw my knapsack onto my new bed in Damen Hall.

It may have bounced a few times as a result of the unnecessary force applied.

I selected the bed closest to the door as well as to the floor. The other one required a bit of climbing, and I hoped Jasper would have a difficult time of it each night.

My hatred for the pansy ass, male Swan was the product of many years and various reasons. But this year, he was elevating my abhorrence to a whole new level.

The least important and least inflaming reason driving my negative emotions was Jasper's striking resemblance to his sister.

Every time I saw him in class, those brown eyes reminded me of Bella.

His effeminate appearance was like a small curse. The only difference between the two was Jasper's shorter eyelashes and broader shoulders. Not that I could determine whose were broader unless they stood side by side.

Jasper was the devil in my eyes, and Isabella Swan was simply an angel.

Her sweet little fingers used to push Alice on the swings when we were children. Her happiness snuck into every corner of my life. She cleaned up a scrape on my knee once, and she blushed fiercely the entire time. But she didn't even know my name.

I knew how her eyes sparkled when it rained. And her hair had a way of getting stuck in front of her left eye. She made Alice smile. She caused the child in me to cry. And she spelled the man in me to fall in love.

Yet Bella Swan barely knew I existed.

Her frequent visits to the orphanage were the highlights of my life. I followed Alice and Bella whenever I could simply so I could watch the stunning brown-haired girl smile.

My world had been so dark that genuine smiles were like jewels to me. They were rare and precious in the midst of everyone's angst. All the people around me hoped for a new life. In a world where everyone only wanted to escape, find a family, and live without fear, how could someone so full of life not intrigue me?

But she was more than a compelling person. She was _good_.

Bella even brought Alice food on each visit, and for that, I will always be grateful. I purposely befriended the cook and snuck Alice anything I could from the kitchens. I even beat up the boys who hurt her or threatened them in the middle of the night. But that was not enough. Bella strengthened my sister in a way I never could. She taught Alice to stand up for herself when Alice only wanted to remain passive and accept any passing evil in her life.

Ultimately, Bella gave us both a wondrous glimpse of a different world. We had breathed the dusky smoke of orphanage life and rotated through foster care so many times that we'd also forgotten the simple world of happy kids.

I smile now when I think of Bella as a girly little Peter Pan, who offered us fairy dust and taught us to fly.

However, Bella Swan would never know how I felt. How could I share my demons with someone so full of light? Monsters were not meant to mingle with angels, to burden their wings, and invade their hearts.

With that thought, I once again cursed Jasper Swan.

_Why must he always remind me of what I can't have?_

As that last thought flitted through my brain, I heard footsteps approaching in the hallway outside the door along with some huffing that I found very satisfying.

The door opened to reveal none other than Jasper, out of breath and hunched over a suitcase.

Slowly, he straightened up and looked me in the eye.

The air seemed full of static, like what I would imagine the inside of a television would be like while it remained on.

"Hello," Jasper said. But the word was oddly drawn out.

I stared at him for a moment and watched a bead of sweat roll down his forehead. Then I simply lay back on my bed and popped in my iPod earphones. I set the music on low. After all, the appearance of indifference is a wonderful way of discretely remaining involved.

Jasper slightly shook his head and dragged his suitcase to rest beside his bed.

The room was sparsely furnished. We had two desks, a couple closets, and the fridge I contributed. A nice thing about Damen Hall was that each room connected to a living room much larger than the average common room in Cullen Hall. Ours contained a red plush sofa, a few squishy armchairs, a television, and various tables. People found this place perfect for parties. I found it perfect for studying.

I watched discretely and curiously as Jasper unpacked his belongings. He had a few clothes and the necessities, but soon, I lifted my head in surprise when I realized half his suitcase consisted of novels.

Jasper pulled out what seemed to be the entire works of Poe, Shakespeare, Austen, the Bronte sisters, and even J.K. Rowling. Then there were a few nonfiction books on historical events or countries; I thought I saw the biography of Churchill too. A large number was also what seemed like simple and modern fiction, written for mass audiences who wanted a fast read.

"_Dead Until Dark_?" I asked, surprised at the chick book. "Isn't that part of the series which _True Blood_ is based on?"

Jasper looked up and nodded. He turned his head and continued unpacking. I ground my teeth together at his cheekiness but remained silent.

I wondered what he would do with all those books until he simply lined them up beneath the huge cavity under his bed and against the wall. He'd have to crawl under there every time he wanted a novel, but it was a nice idea nonetheless. A small space fill with printed pages to call your own? That seemed like a nice slice of heaven to me. Not that I planned to ever vocalize that opinion.

_**8o8o8o8o8o**_**8**

I woke up panting in the middle of the night. My heart raced, and sweat poured down my body in torrents. My nightmare continued to chase me, even after the veil of sleep had lifted. The depression and anxiety I felt every night crept forward silently, and as always, I was overcome before I realized anything was wrong.

I lay back silently with my eyes open, my heart thudding in my ears, and my gaze on the ceiling for the remainder of the night.

The darkness shrouded me so well, I had no clue that Swan was looking sadly down at me from the bed to my left.

_**8o8o8o8o8o**_**8**

During breakfast the next morning, I watched Emmett shovel three plates of eggs into his tractor-sized mouth. Then I watched Mike sidle over to Jasper and Alice's table. That idiot's advance only meant one thing: vomit-worthy groping.

I turned away and stared at a far wall while Emmett, Jackson, and Derek yammered on about their new swimsuits. My mind was a million miles away. I could still see my parents' faces from my dreams.

My father's fists rained down on me as I lay against the tiny, torn bed I shared with my twin. Alice was huddled in the corner, her face frozen. I sealed my own lips and bore the abuse silently. This was the deal I made with _him_. It was either me or Alice—so it had to be me.

"Dude! Dude, look at this."

Emmet's huge form invaded my line of sight. He was balancing a full plate of sausages atop his head.

"Em, that's not an achievement. Your head is flat," I informed my burly teammate.

His face broke into a smile. "Ah, but that is an achievement in itself, my surly captain." He saluted me and stood with the plate still precariously balanced on his head. He gathered everyone's empty plates and walked away—very slowly.

I shook my head in amusement as not a single head turned in the dining hall. Everyone was accustomed to Emmett's antics. And they liked him for his crazy nature. _I _loved him for his ability to see the good in everything. He would probably even like Swan. Fuckin' hell. I should nip that in the bud, but turning my team against any player would not only be cruel, it would be unwise.

I pushed my chair back with a huff and stood. I wanted to get to class before Tanya sauntered into the dining hall. I needed a good fuck, but Denali was getting on my nerves recently. She knew I hated her attention-seeking personality, and we both knew this was just a non-exclusive, fuck-buddy relationship. She could hold my hand once in a while, but it would not go any further than that. However, she was now having a little trouble accepting this fact, and I was having trouble indulging her sickly sweet attempts at starting something more.

After passing by Alice and Jasper, I turned around to yank Mike out of his seat in front of them. He was so dazed, he didn't even realize I was dragging him away until Jasper and Alice broke apart.

Finally, he wriggled out of my grasp and fled in fear. I continued walking to English. My mood was only growing fouler as the day progressed.

Twenty minutes into English class, Jessica's comments about Darcy's arrogance in _Pride_ _and_ _Prejudice_ were already getting to me.

"He refuses to see anything clearly unless it's shoved up his nose," Jessica said. "I mean, consider Lizzy. He likes her, but does he love her until she slights his offer to dance? No, it takes an insult to get him to truly see anything he considers beneath him."

"I'm sorry, are you trying to prove Darcy is arrogant?" I finally piped up. Every head turned in my direction.

"Well, yeah." Jessica flipped her hair, puffed out her chest like a friggin' bird, and smiled at me.

"And what exactly is so novel about that point? Even he ultimately admits to his arrogance and conceit."

Jessica seemed a bit put out. I smiled.

Well, until Jasper opened his mouth to say, "Her point was more about his blindness to the world he chooses to look down upon yet rarely see."

I scoffed, "Oh, he sees that world. He just distrusts it until he finds something worthy enough to redeem it."

Jasper's brows furrowed. "No, I disagree. And are you calling Lizzy 'something'? Why must her world be redeemed anyway? What could have driven him to such conceit in the first place? After all, perspective is a choice."

"Sometimes choice is taken out of our hands. Nature fights nurture, and nurture often wins."

"We have no concrete proof of that in Darcy's case. His late parents are actually described as quite generous people. He may have been nurtured well," Jasper shot back.

A growl almost ripped from my throat. Yes, I was feeling quite animalistic today. "If you honestly believe Fitzwilliam Darcy is blind to anything but himself in the beginning of the novel, then you are simply deranged."

People snickered as Jasper grew flushed.

"Edward," Dr. Willsworth admonished as if I were an errant child. "Respect is the key to any successful discussion."

_No, Dr. Obvious, knowledgeable human beings are the key to discussions as well as my sanity._

Jasper's eyes narrowed, and he squared his shoulders as he turned to me. "That's fine, Dr. Willsworth. So, Edward, you think that Darcy would have called anyone at Longbourne accomplished? After all, he only associated himself with accomplished people."

"He marries Lizzy, doesn't he?"

"Who's to say he finds her accomplished?"

"To him, she is perfect," I said.

"Why? Why would he find an unaccomplished person perfect? Ms. Bingley and Darcy made it clear that the perfect woman must be faultlessly knowledgeable of 'music, singing, drawing, dancing, and the modern languages.' And that doesn't even include, what was it, oh yes, 'her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions.'"

"No," I said firmly. _Can no one understand the novel at all? _I continued, "The perfect woman must be _good_. In heart, motivation, and perspective. That is the point Austen strove to make clear. For all of Miss Bingley's accomplishments, she never learns the most significant quality a human being must possess, and so she does not win her man in the end."

Little Maria smiled softly at me as Jasper looked perplexed.

For my part, I didn't think I'd introduced a difficult concept. Perhaps it was the sight of a reputed playboy preaching about finding goodness in a woman. I'm sure everyone thought I was only after a hot mouth and nimble hands.

Fuck me.

Well, I struggled through the rest of the day and finally ended up collapsing on my bed and praying for sleep to find me.

I must not have closed the door properly because Damien barged into my room fifteen seconds later. He was the second best swimmer I had as well as my closest friend. Tall, black-haired, blue-eyed, and fiercely loyal to friends, he was also ridiculously popular with women.

That's why his next words did not even come close to surprising me.

"It's Friday night, and we're going to a club. Get off your ass. You'll never learn to sleep properly."

Already stomping away, he didn't await a reply. He knew I would come.

Thirty minutes later, I was walking into Gray's, my favorite club in town. It was more of a lounge, and I had a VIP section reserved for me near the dance floor. Pulsating lights moved around the room, offering light where there was only darkness a moment before. Emmett and Damien were at my side, and I felt ready to forget my stupid worries and simply _be_.

Sprawling across a large sofa, I sighed deeply and people-watched for a while. Soon, leggy blondes and half-naked brunettes surrounded my two friends. A stunning redhead named Irina sat in my lap, and I spent a couple minutes exploring her neck.

As her hand began to wander, I spotted Alice making her way onto the floor. My eyes narrowed, but when Alice shifted, my jaw fully dropped to the floor.

Isabella Swan, clad in a tight crimson skirt and backless top, trailed behind Alice. Her hair was curled into ringlets down her milky smooth back. I immediately pushed Irina off my lap and stood to lean against a nearby wall where I had a better view of Bella. She seemed nervous about something, but her large eyes looked stunning. Smoky shadow and nude lips complemented her face perfectly, and I longed to pull that plump bottom lip between my teeth and bite.

Well, I longed to bite much more than her lips.

Her gait was initially quite awkward but once Alice had Bella moving, her hips swaying, and her mind on the beat, I knew I had never seen a sight more seductive than Bella dancing.

Damn, my cock was so hard it was growing painful. I felt like a voyeur, but nothing had ever stopped me from admiring Isabella Swan from a distance, and nothing ever could.

She and Alice had their backs to each other, but as soon as they stepped away a bit, James Morrison had Bella in his slimy grasp. My hands clenched into fists. Soon, James was fondling her breasts, and finally, Bella showed the repulsion I prayed for.

When she pushed him away, I exhaled a relieved breath and felt thankful he took the hint. Which I must note was very unlike the James I knew.

A few minutes later, when Bella sank raunchily to the floor and rose agonizingly slowly, I felt a multitude of emotions wash through me. Surprisingly, the foremost sensation was anger. Admittedly though, it was followed closely by desire and temptation. I wanted to know how it felt to be inside her. To have her mouth suck on every inch of my skin. To trail my tongue along the peak of each sloping breast. To finally pin her softness beneath my hard body and watch her entire being come undone from my forceful thrusts and unbidden words.

I certainly did not want an entire club witnessing the sight of Bella twisting and grinding in what had to be the most sensual dance in history.

After Alice was swept farther away into the crowd and I could no longer see her, my feet began to move without any conscious decision from my mind.

Finally, after what seemed to be a million millennia, I was behind Bella, with my arms wrapped around her waist and her body moving against mine. She tensed at first, not knowing who was holding her, but when she realized my hands knew their boundaries, we set a nice rhythm.

Hearing her soft sigh, I closed my eyes and thanked the world for allowing me this moment with the only girl I ever loved. If this was all the intimacy I could get, then I would savor it.

The music sped up and soon, Bella began grinding her ass against my straining erection with her long arms around my neck. My hands lowered to graze her breasts, and I felt Bella shudder against me. She was more of a vixen than I ever dreamed, and I had certainly dreamed, so soon, my imagination relinquished all its control and sped away.

Images of Bella gasping and groaning assaulted my mind, torturing me, teasing me until with a groan of surrender, I desperately turned this beguiling woman around and captured her lips.

The sweet, lushness shocked me to my core. Her lips moved sensuously slow against my own, lighting something in my soul. Hearing a throaty moan from Bella, I finally pulled back to breathe and watched her eyes open to properly land on my face for the first time tonight.

Her reaction was a mixture of shock, disbelief, and discomposure. But then she simply gasped my name in the lustiest tone I had ever heard in my life. I gazed into her eyes for a moment, feeling elated that her arms remained around my neck.

"Bella," I whispered against her open lips. "What are you doing here?"

Her eyes widened for a moment before she abruptly pulled me closer, shoving her hands into my hair and begging my mouth for entrance.

Within seconds, I had her squirming against a wall, her body deliciously sandwiched between me and a large black pillar in a dark, secluded corner of the club.

"Oh, lord," she breathed as my hand slid up her top to practically latch onto a pert little breast. "Yes, please, Edward."

"That's it, sweetheart," I said. My fingers teased her tightened nipples with light touches. "Plead for me."

"Anything," she returned. "Anything, just stay." Her words confused me, but I obliged, grabbing her legs and lifting her until she could wrap them around me.

The strings of her top had come undone, and I stared transfixed for a moment at the sight of her rosy pink nipples tightening deliciously all for me. Soon I was sucking, tasting, and devouring her right breast.

"Fucking hell!" she shrieked. Had she ever been pleasured this way? I hoped to God she hadn't as I switched my attention to her other sweet breast, noting the sexiest beauty mark right above the slope of it.

I began grinding my painfully swollen dick into her center and gasped from the pleasure that simple action elicited from my body as well as the soft mewls ripping from Bella's throat. I felt wild and uncontrollable as I greedily took anything she was willing to give. Through it all, I could not believe this was Bella. My Bella.

But could she ever be mine?

"Baby, can I touch you?" I mindlessly asked. I needed to feel her slickness even if just between my fingers.

"Yes, yes, yes," she chanted, roughly stroking my tongue with hers for a moment until I demanded my control back.

I pulled back and nipped her lips.

"Behave," I told her playfully. But I meant it. While she was in my arms, she belonged to me. I put her feet down and snuck my hands beneath the tantalizingly tiny skirt which barely covered her ass.

She wasn't wearing any panties.

I pulled back, grabbed a fistful of her silky hair, and growled softly. "No underwear. Well, who were you meeting?"

She writhed in vain, struggling for the friction I was denying through holding us still and keeping her at a distance.

"No one, I swear," she said. "I just don't have any thongs for this outfit. Please touch me. Touch me, Edward."

I groaned again as my entire body burst into flames at her begging. It was the most arousing thing I'd ever heard, and soon, I was holding her against me so forcefully I was surprised she didn't protest.

But as my fingers sought their way to Bella's dripping pussy, I heard the last thing a man wants to hear before he finger-fucks his dream woman—

His sister calling his name from less than five feet away.

* * *

**A/N:**

**So...what did you think? Was the EPOV a nice flip side? **

**So 140 reviews total this time? Pretty please. With an Edward on top.  
**


	7. Foolworthy Moments

_**A/N: You all came through with 140 reviews this morning, so here is the next chapter. ENJOY!**_

BPOV

Edward's excited fingers stilled between my legs, but he pulled me possessively closer. His body grew taut for a moment, and in the now chilling darkness, I could somewhat see a look of controlled devastation in his features.

But the expression vanished as soon as it appeared, and he stiffly stepped away to face Alice, the girl I would be sending to Hades in the morning.

I shot her a glare worthy of the wickedest witch, but she was directing her own glare at Edward.

Alice stood with an arrogantly cocked brow and with her hands on her hips. The little devil seemed positively murderous, and I couldn't begin to understand the reason for her animosity towards her own twin.

Well, her reason didn't matter once Edward gently stepped away from me. His warm lips pressed against my forehead, and as I blissfully drowned in blossoming feelings of déjà vu, he walked off into the crowd around the corner.

Alice melted back into herself and pulled me in for a hug. "It just wasn't time for all that, Bells. Not yet," she whispered.

I didn't talk to her for the rest of the night even as she helped me change back into Jasper in her vacant dorm room, or as I cried on her shoulder after looking in the mirror and seeing a man. I didn't speak to her on my way out her door and onto the shadowy campus. My lips remained sealed even as I slipped into Damen Hall.

They did not remain sealed, however, when I opened my dorm room to find Edward glowering down at me from my own bed.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaah!"

"Relax," Edward snapped. "Despite what you think, I don't want you dead."

I was looking determinedly at the floor. He could not see my red eyes. I would not allow it.

I heard him chuckle darkly and say, "You scream like a girl."

I remained silent.

"Want a chocolate bar?"

My head snapped up.

"You look like you need it," Edward said.

Grasping the ladder, I climbed up onto my bed and sat beside him. We both leaned our backs against the wall and remained silent for a while, just thinking. Then he wordlessly handed me a Snickers and roughly bit a chunk out of his own bar.

I didn't know where to go from here. I went to that club hoping to let off some steam. Alice said Edward was usually there but that he would ignore me.

She'd been wrong. Clearly.

And if she was wrong about that, what right did she possess to pull him away from me? She may as well have wedged her little form between us and shoved us in opposite directions.

But Edward showed an interest in me!

In Bella.

And now I was stuck here with a ridiculous amount of chocolate scattered atop my bed and a pissed off Edward, who I couldn't even touch.

I glanced at him to see that he was peering intently into my face.

He leaned forward slightly.

Then he scowled, turning his head away.

"Are you okay, Edward?" I asked.

He sighed and lay down with his feet on my pillow. Somehow I knew that was deliberate.

Looking up at me though, his face was soft and distant. I met his gaze, and my heart calmed a bit. The internal turmoil that had spilled forth through my tears just minutes ago began to dissipate.

I don't know how long Edward and I just remained there, gazing at each other near the stucco ceiling, but something inside me hoped that he was looking at Jasper—but seeing Bella.

**_8o8o8o8o8o8_**

_Twenty minutes later_

"I hate purple-painted cats," Edward said, his voice whisper-soft. "They creep me out."

"I can't stand bloody beef," I added.

We had been listing irrelevant likes, dislikes, tendencies, and random shit for a while now. I think it all started when Edward told me that brown eyes look like spheres of shit, and I replied that green ones must be diseased excrement.

Edward nodded in understanding of my most recent statement. We began to list things off in rapid succession. "Vampires make me think of weird mustaches and erectile dysfunction."

"The wooly mammoth looks like my granny in her self-knitted body suit."

Edward smiled and my heart leapt. "Mike Newton looks like a brontosaurus with explosive acne issues."

I glanced at Edward, who was still lying across my bed. His eyes glowed a bit more, and the sadness I had noticed when I entered our room had begun retreating. Edward Cullen was clearly a haunted man. Was he so upset tonight because Alice tore Bella and him apart? Was he looking for a quick fuck with me? The thought upset me, and I shoved it from my mind. I chose to kiss him. And I could not regret my actions.

But what about Tanya? Her existence had completely flitted from my memory.

"Edward?"

"Yeah?" he asked, curious why I had deviated from our game.

"What's up with you and that ska—Tanya?"

His eyebrow arched, and his eyes speared through me. "Why?" he asked.

"Alice has been wondering, and well—I want to know if I should think twice before coming back to our room early some weekend night." I swallowed, waiting for his answer like a convict before the hangman's noose awaits the order to grace death's stage.

Edward smiled darkly. "I believe your second excuse. The first one lacks authenticity."

"Why would you say that?"

"Because Alice doesn't care who I'm with or what I'm doing, for that matter." He chuckled. "But yeah, it was never right between me and Tanya. I broke it off."

That horrible, uneasy silence spread between us again as it often did, so I said, "Mickey Mouse has a voice that makes me wonder who kneed him in the balls."

"Donald Duck wore a towel out of the shower but never any pants."

I laughed. "Piss reminds my sister of apple juice. So she never drinks it—er, both piss and apple juice."

Edward was quiet for a moment. But he finally asked, "How is Isabella?"

The words were whisper-soft, and maybe I was being fanciful, but I thought his tongue was caressing my name like it would whipped cream. I realized I loved hearing him pronounce it in his deep, velvety voice. It reminded me of winter and chocolate and warm flames. It made the muscles of my thighs clench, and a tingling spread through my core at the thought of jumping into his arms—right now.

I pulled myself together and answered, "She's well. Called me yesterday."

He nodded casually. "Does she give you a lot of grief—you know, with boyfriends and such?"

I smiled. "No, she hasn't dated anyone in a while."

I could see he was struggling not to appear shocked, and I was flattered at the blatant fire of joy shining in his eyes. "How? Dude, I remember what she looks like. She, uh, she—."

I helped him out, and fished for some information while I was at it. "Yeah, don't sweat it. I know she seems the slutty type, right?"

He sat up. "What? What the hell is wrong with you? She looks perfect."

"For whom?"

He opened his mouth, but no sounds were emitted, and after a moment, Edward shrugged by way of reply and leaned back once more. "No idea," he said.

Confused, I looked away and stared at the burgundy wall on the other side of the room. "Janice Dickinson looks like Barney."

"Regis must fart like a madman."

"Newton says rap music is the sound of the devil," I said.

"Jessica fucked Newton two years ago. They say she defined his sexuality."

"TMZ must be part of a government conspiracy to poison our youth."

He nodded. "I think small breasts are sexy."

"Fast cars make me wet."

Edward gave me the "WTF" look.

"In a purely masculine way of course," I hastily added.

He hopped down to head for his own bed. "Whatever, Swan, let's call it a night before you beg to see my Aston."

**_8o8o8o8o8o8_**

Teachers clearly did not understand the brilliance that is Jasper Swan.

Especially biology teachers with a surplus of rats just waiting to be slit open.

I finished dissecting my rat properly fifteen minutes into class, yet Dr. Banner refused to allow me another one of a different sex for further experimentation. That left me with few options for the next forty minutes.

I poked the tiny spleen and cocked my head in thought. Then I flicked a chunk of flesh at Mike.

He picked it up and winked at me.

Freaked out and glancing swiftly at Edward's assigned table right in front of my own, I noticed he was done with the assignment as well. Oh, thank fuck. This could be interesting. I lifted the severed rat tail from my tray and nudged his shoulder.

Turning, he raised a brow. His emerald eyes gazed at me steadily, and I shivered at my core. I imagined running my hands through that silky mess of hair, which I stared at every night from atop my bed while he slept, unaware of my fixation, and unaware that the extra towels and bottled water were deliberately placed beside his desk each night for him—by the roommate who knew that he woke up panting at 4:03 a.m. every morning from some demon that chased his heels. He woke with sweat running down his chest and nightmares chilling his bones.

He woke like a man possessed. His eyes flashed and his muscles flexed as if preparing to fight. Those possessive arms had ensnared me just a few days ago, and I longed to return to his sexual cage. I wanted to lick his wounds and rub his aches.

He didn't need a band-aid to cover him. I would cover him if he asked. I'd cover that sensual, smoldering body like a kitten—digging in my claws and rubbing myself over my property.

This week we had been more cordial than ever before. The distance was painful but the politeness was refreshing. He didn't go so far as to smile warmly at me, but he did nod in acknowledgment when we passed each other in the halls. Progress is progress. And I would take whatever I could get from this man. He disliked Jasper. Not Bella.

And that made my heart sing.

"Swan, did you devour the rest of your rat?" he asked me now.

"No, pretty boy, I mangled it with a scalpel and a couple tweezers."

Cullen simply shook his head in amusement and moved to turn around.

"Wait," I hissed. I waved the tail and motioned towards Dr. Banner, who was standing with his back a few feet away from Edward and peering at Jessica's bloody lump of flesh and fur—er, her rat that is, not herself.

Edward smirked and leaned against his table to face me. "You sure?" he asked. When I nodded, he laughed lightly. "It's your academic funeral."

He grabbed the tail and pulled a tendon so that the wormy-looking tail curled. He curled and uncurled the dang thing for a couple minutes until I got angry with impatience. Finally, he dropped it—with an endearing flourish— into Banner's lab coat pocket.

Jessica saw the little exchange and looked a bit horrified—ironic, considering the roadkill laying in front of her.

Banner moved to face the class and adjusted his monocle above his twisty French moustache. What century was he from, and who the hell told him he was French? Banner is so not pronounced "Bann-ey."

"Alright," he said after a small cough. "If you have yet to take out and examine the heart, I advise you to work faster lest you wish to fail today's assignment, then tomorrow's exam, and indirectly your entire life's mission."

"What the hell does he know about my life's mission?" Mike muttered behind me. "Since when was finding a hot piece of man ass something he achieved?"

I swallowed my tongue at that and Edward shot me a look. His attention was clearly focused on Banner.

Banner continued, "Now, I will write a small guideline for you on the board, so you are all aware"—he was reaching into his pocket—"of the pace I expect—MOTHERFUCKER'S KNICKERS!"

He threw the tail at a girl and fled the room.

"It's alive!" she screamed. "It's fucking ALIVE!"

Jessica took cover under a table and knocked her rat to the floor on her way there. A girl named Angela took out her Bible. As for Mike, he took the chaotic moment as license to literally lick his rat's ass.

I turned to see that Edward was on the floor and shaking with laughter.

Suffice it to say that my side felt like it was splitting for ten minutes. And the pride didn't dissipate for a few minutes after that.

**_8o8o8o8o8o8_**

_A few minutes after that:_

"Who's rat tail was in Dr. Banner's pocket?"

I shot a furtive glance at Edward, my accomplice for all ratty intents and purposes.

Principal Cullen looked pissed. Banner didn't look any better. His face was a beautiful shade of puce because honestly, what kind of research scientist shrieks at a severed limb?

Carlisle glared at the room at large. He had eight suspects and five minutes before next period.

Distractions….distractions….

"Sir," Edward said, raising his hand after a long silence had almost swallowed the room whole.

_What? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. DON'T RAT ME OUT. DON'T RAT ME OUT. IT WAS JUST A RAT TAIL!_

"Yes, Edward?"

"Perhaps you should simply check to see which tray is missing a tail?"

No fucking way! But I told him about my car fetish and everything!

Carlisle smiled at him and began making his way around the room. He glanced at a couple trays and covered his mouth at the stench emanating from the trash bag he passed. He was about to reach Jessica when the bell rang.

"Wait!" he bellowed to the class just as I prepared to make a run for it. "Leave your trays."

I felt lightheaded.

Outside the lab, I cornered Edward on his way to third period. But he didn't let me get a word in edgewise.

"You'll be fine," he said. "Did you not see the stew Jessica made from her rat? Or the chopped up tail Mike dumped into the trash after a minute with the scalpel? Everyone was mutilating those rats. No one will get in trouble. Just thank the lord none of those people are headed to medical school."

With a roll of the eyes, he loped off.

I still felt queasy. And it wasn't from Newton's passing comment of "I'll take the fall if you fall to your knees."

I headed to history with a knot in my stomach and dreaded sitting next to Alice. We had no assigned seating there, and I knew she would push me to talk today although she'd given me my space since Friday night.

I steeled myself before walking into the small but cozy lecture hall where we history lectures took place every other week. Esme was preparing the PowerPoint presentation at the head of the hall, and I dropped into a seat near the back row, feeling panicky and upset. The air conditioning was making me shiver under my thin shirt, and as I considered buying a school sweatshirt that I could wear to classes, I smoothed the collar of my uniform nervously.

"So who did it?" Alice asked without preamble after popping out of absolutely nowhere.

My head hurt, and I couldn't understand a thing anymore. "Huh?"

"Banner ran by my lab fifteen minutes ago. He was shrieking about serpents, and get this," Alice said, leaning forward. "He tore off his shirt and tossed it onto my Bunsen burner."

"Whoah," I said, reeling.

"Yeah, but the most disturbing fact of all has yet to be revealed, my dear Jasper," she said.

She paused for effect before saying, "He has a tattoo of a hippogriff mating with a unicorn on his left peck."

Mariah jumped into our conversation from behind our seats. "Alice, you have to do some damage control or your father will expel whoever did it."

Alice scoffed. "Why should I?"

I must have looked guilty because Maria pointed at me.

"No!" Alice whispered. "You?"

"And Edward," I mumbled.

"What do you mean?"

"I was the mastermind and he just got his hands dirty."

Maria giggled, and her eyebrows waggled in a gesture I found extremely annoying considering her next words. "I wouldn't mind if he got his hands a little down and dirty with me. . . If you know what I mean."

Alice and I must have appeared outraged because Maria turned bright red and slinked down further into her seat. I considered apologizing for my venomous expression, but I couldn't bring myself to feel even remotely remorseful. To add to my list of situations with fodder for disaster: swim team practice began today as did the first meeting of the school's official drama club, The Palooza. I did not pretend to understand the meaning behind such a name—and Jasper claimed he didn't either, so—yeah.

When the bell signaling lunch finally broke through the daze in my brain, I bolted out of my seat like a frightened colt and gave Alice the "Holy-SHEEYAT-I-Have-to Pretend-I-can Act-Except-that-would-Mean-that-I-can-and-would-Therefore-not-Need-to-Pretend" look.

Alice easily understood.

"Breathe! I have an . . . um . . . interesting feeling about your club meeting. Begone with you! Be Jasper the Great!" Her arms arced through the air with pomp and flair. It seemed as though her gesticulations were growing more ridiculous by the day. Just last week, she clapped her hands three times before she gave the librarian the finger instead of a handshake.

**_8o8o8o8o8o8_**

"Cease and desist thy knocking, you mongrel. Thou shalt not enter the Chamber of Doom whilst lacking proper invitation."

I had no tangible invitation, so I stared at the guy with his horribly affected Scottish accent until he huffed and let me in.

"You're no fun, Jaz. Where the hell is your drama spirit?"

I sighed dramatically. "It's over the rainbow."

He thumped my back painfully hard and resumed the Scotsman act. "That's m'boy!"

Walking into the theatre, I was stunned at how different it looked without a scene set up on stage. Everything was bare but thrumming with energy. I recognized the place from the number of times I watched Jasper perform here over the previous three years.

The theatre was owned by Coldridge, but it was located across the street from the perimeter of campus on Bailey Drive.

I couldn't believe I was about to do this. Or be a part of this. The Palooza was the best drama club at Coldridge, far outranking the other two. Jasper had joined all three existing organizations, but I refused to do that. One was enough and after joining the swim team, it wouldn't be odd that "Jasper" chose to lighten his acting load for the year.

But no one would believe that Jasper Hale, the self-titled Kick-Ass Drama King Extraordinaire, had fully given up on acting. Heck, even Principal Cullen would find that suspicious. Then I'd be getting weirder looks than normal, and in no time flat, I would be flying out of Coldridge ass-first, which while unlikely, would be very uncomfortable.

"Where the hell are my actors?" a gruff British voice cut through the din of the immense room.

Everyone quieted as a thirtyish-looking man with dirty blond hair and a pipe in his mouth appeared on stage.

Ah, this must be Sam-I-Am. Or "the slave-driver" as he was more commonly known in these circles.

"Get over here! Actors to my right and stagehands to my left," he called as a puff of black smoke billowed from his mouth.

After we were all settled in seats before him the way he instructed, Sam patted his stomach and spoke. "This fall, we shall be reenacting a play which has not been allowed the privilege—no, its natural RIGHT—to see the light of stage. This play will blow all else out of the FUCKING WATER. No more _Troy_ or _Romeo and Pansy-Ass Juliet._ NO! We are finally entering the era of modern man. We are THE FUTURE. We will be doing the play—wait for it!" he said while crouching a bit and opening his arms.

His eyes gleamed and he puffed on the pipe, choked for a moment, and proclaimed, "MY PRIDE AND HER PREJUDICE."

I really wanted to know what this man was smoking, so I could petition the courts to ban it from the country.

After reading the excerpt from the script I would have to memorize for auditions to play Mr. Darcy—because that would be expected of me—I knew I could do this. Not because I suddenly gained confidence in my stage skills, but because Sam wrote a script for the first time this year. Now—oddity I could do.

* * *

**Excerpt of the Excerpt from MY PRIDE AND HER PREJUDICE by Sam-I-Am Uley:**

Jane: (fans her bosom with a peacock feather) But Mr. Darcy, this is highly irregular.

Mr. Darcy: No, Jane, it is about time you and Lizzy got freaky with me.

* * *

"Just kidding!" Sam called as we all flipped through the ten page excerpt he distributed two minutes ago. "That is not what we will be working with."

Fuck my life. No, fuck Darcy. He got my hopes up.

I heard breathy sounds of relief and a faint "I'm gonna wax his ass" from the students around me.

The man continued, "Instead, the real script shall remain top secret until a point in time which I deem worthy. We will not have a repeat of last year's hellish shenanigans. No one will leak this script. But, this excerpt you may share with whomever you choose. It makes me smile."

Then he left. Just like that. The bastard.

**_8o8o8o8o8o8_**

EPOV:

I stretched my legs and turned a page, which detailed a rather anachronistic threesome. That Sam dude was demented.

So maybe this acting thing would be interesting.

**_8o8o8o8o8o8_**

_After classes ended that day and an hour before swim team practice:_

I ran a hand through my unruly hair and cursed softly when I spotted Tanya headed towards me across the courtyard. Her eyes were focused and calculating.

Panicking, I dashed into the girl's dormitory nearby when Tanya turned to say something over her shoulder to a friend.

I ran up to Alice's room while hoping no R.A. was around to expel me from the building. When I tried the knob to her room, it turned and I stepped into the empty common room with alacrity. I exhaled in relief and sank down into the couch.

After a moment, I realized that water was running from a shower nearby. Fervently hoping it was Alice, who could tell me when it would be best to escape, I rose and entered her room, which connected to her private bathroom. Unfortunately, I had to share one with Jasper—although he was rarely in there, I had to admit.

I peeked inside and called out, "Alice?"

_**A/N: 180 Reviews please? Make me happy and I'll update ;) How's a real lemon sound for next chapter? Promises, promises...I make good on 'em.**_


	8. Being a Fool for You

_**Happy Holidays, everyone! Forgive me for taking so long to update this time. I attend university and as a premed taking an insane number of units during fall quarter, I rarely found time to simply sleep properly. But I'm well-rested now, and I have a comparatively easy load for winter quarter, so I hope you haven't lost trust in me.**_

_**To make up for my epic fail at updating these last two months, I made this chapter extremely long. I've been working on it during my vacation trip, so I could update as soon as possible.**_

_**So much is about to happen in this story. I'm excited!  
**_

_**This is my favorite chapter yet, and I hope it becomes yours as well.**_

_**Please enjoy.**_

_**

* * *

**_

_**In the swim team locker room-**_

**Damien Hale: Why doesn't Jasper shower with us?**

**Emmet McCarty: Because he has a small cock. It's miniscule. That's why he's in the bathroom stalls for so long. He's trying to take a huge piss through a tiny schlong.**

**Jasper/Isabella Swan: No, I simply don't want to embarrass the rest of you. My package is huge—just ask my girlfriend.**

**Edward Cullen: Don't any of you DARE ask his girlfriend.**

_**8o8o8o8o8o**_**8**

BPOV

Being stressed is like being in a shark tank. You might make friends with the sharks and come out unscathed, or more likely you'll lose a few limbs.

From experience, I learned the best therapy for stress is a shower, where sharks can't fit. Usually.

So, after stressing over rat tails, hidden identities, and forbidden love, I tried to dispel the evil thoughts swimming in my brain by showering in Alice's bathroom. I thought I was being smart and avoiding the one I shared with Edward—for obvious reasons. And a few not so obvious ones which had to do with hormones and girly obsession.

Considering what I was trying to avoid, imagine my genuine surprise when I heard Edward's voice call out for Alice just outside the bathroom door. No, imagine my _terror_.

His voice shot through me like adrenaline, yet the fear at being found out somehow also intensified a feeling I only recently identified as desire.

Shaking, I peered through the glass shower doors. The door to the bathroom had just opened slightly.

Flames of fear and desire licked up my spine, and I froze. _What do I do?_

_Jasper wouldn't shower here right before swim practice! That would look suspicious. Shit. Shit. Triple shit._

My options were slim. Edward thought I was Alice taking a shower right now, so he might very well step inside and see all of Jasper's clothes strewn across the floor. But he'd notice that only a single person was in the shower. Then the questions would begin. Which meant my options actually totaled to one: Keep Edward out!

"It's not Alice. It's um…Bu-Bella," I called out. "I'll be right out."

The door immediately shut with a resounding thud.

Simultaneously rinsing the shampoo rapidly from my hair and holding my stomach, I sank to the floor and tried to control my breathing.

"It's okay. It's okay. It's friggin' okay," I said to myself. "IT'S OKAY!"

I might have been close to hyperventilation, but I focused my mind on happy things like puppies and daisies, and when the water automatically grew warmer, it relaxed my muscles enough to get me off the cold floor.

Three minutes later, I stepped out, dried off, and stuffed my male clothes in large cracks and crevices behind the sink.

Preparing myself to walk out in a towel because I had nothing else, I said three words fervently, "Suck it up."

Then I opened the door.

He was there and tensely sitting on the arm of a couch, which was visible through the hallway that connected the bathroom to the living room. He had straddled the arm and was staring, unblinking at the muted television facing away from me.

I stepped slowly forward, and he turned slightly, enough for me to watch his eyes grow minutely darker with every passing second. Blood rushed to my brain and to everywhere else in my body until I was sure I glowed pink.

I came to a stop a few feet away, but I couldn't lift my head enough to look at him.

"Sorry," I squeaked. "I thought no one was here."

Silence took over. He didn't move. Didn't speak.

I tentatively looked up and did what I swore I wouldn't. I moaned.

He gasped and in a movement of limbs too fast for me to follow, he fell backwards onto the couch so clumsily he could have been me.

"Edward?" I rushed forward, placing my arms on his chest and looking down at him. "Edward?" I asked again.

He appeared dazed, almost drunk. I could feel his breath on my neck and involuntarily shivered. Then I noticed he was not staring into my eyes. Looking down with a gasp, I realized my towel had fallen in my rush to help him.

Oh freaking fuck.

Before I could move, he was across the room. Then he was across the island separating this room with the kitchen and banging pots and pans as if he were preparing to cook something and knew what he was doing.

"Would you like something to eat?" he asked loudly, ostensibly trying to appear like he had not just ogled my naked breasts. His mussed hair stuck up in all directions, and he looked like a tortured, smoldering madman trapped in a kitchen.

I, for one, was shaking. Chips of ice infused my blood, freezing and slowing it down. I did not know how I really felt right then, which for some reason, was the scariest thing ever. I wanted to cover my body with a thousand pieces of cloth yet tear off the towel now wrapped around me at the same time.

"No," I called shakily. "I ate with Alice."

He stilled at that. "Where is she?"

"Gone for the night. Some party in the quad everyone's been crazy about."

Slowly, he turned and looked me squarely in the eye. "Why are you here then? Don't you have your own school to attend?" His voice rose. "Why do I keep seeing you?"

Gulping, I answered, "This is only the second time."

"Answer me."

"I drove over for the night. I was at the party and someone spilled something all over me, so I returned for a quick shower." That sounded plausible. Yeah. Definitely.

Emerald eyes held mine then for a moment that felt too long. "You like to party, huh?" he finally asked, a touch of disgust lacing his words.

_Oh. He thinks I'm a slut. _

The hurt must have been plain in my eyes because he looked away. "Well, you better get dressed. There are plenty of guys who I'm sure are missing your presence."

Oh, now I could feel anger simmering within me.

"Well?" he asked after a beat of silence. I could see his fists balled at his sides. "Not excited about some man meat anymore?"

Now the anger was bubbling over.

"Well, Swan?" he asked.

He was fucking talking to me like I was Jasper!

Well, I could return his words in kind. I stalked into the kitchen and let the venom pour into my mouth. "You hypocritical whore."

"Excuse me?" he asked stormily, fully facing me now.

"You think your playboy status in this institution is anything less than renowned?" I mocked. "Or do you think shoving me against a wall in some club didn't tip me off to your man-whoring tendencies? Well, lookie-here, Master Cullen. I am not a bumbling idiot, and the last thing I am is a slut. So you can take your nasty insinuations and dig yourself a grave six feet into the ground for all I care."

"Well, you seemed to like the shoving," he mocked. "And for someone who's not a slut, you were pretty quick to let me into your panties." He stepped closer. "Which were drenched."

The breath caught in my throat. "You horrible…vile…manipulative…"

He smirked. "What, love? Going to call me nasty names? Stick a dagger into my nonexistent heart?"

For a nanosecond, surprise overpowered anger. "You have a heart."

Scoffing, he grabbed my arm and pulled me roughly against him. His face looked cruel and empty. Except for the bitterness etched around his eyes. "And how the hell would you know?"

I stared at him. For the first time, I really took a look at Edward Cullen. And what I saw broke my heart. Because he truly believed what he just said. Deep down, where everything matters and nothing is a lie, he believed he could no longer feel.

So I couldn't help it at all.

I kissed him.

I stepped onto my tiptoes and slanted my mouth over his warm lips.

And without a seemingly second thought, he pulled me away. Just like that. It felt as if ashes of something fell around me while my heart crumbled. The blood pounded in my ears, and feeling like a lonely ragdoll in his arms, I shivered again.

Suddenly, Edward looked down at me with an expression so full of emotion, I couldn't begin to decipher it.

He sighed.

Unpredictable as always, he pulled me closer and lazily sucked on my lower lip, almost in apology. Pulling away with a lick to the corner of my mouth, he softly repeated his earlier question. "How the hell would you know?"

I cocked my head and for the first time, I realized something that had been staring me in the face for weeks. "The way you look at me. That's how. _That's_ why I let you shove me up against a wall." I kissed his tense neck reverently, watching the delicious muscles there bunch. "That's why I was drenched," I whispered.

He groaned softly. "What are you doing to me?" he asked.

I nuzzled his neck, rubbing my cheek against his warm skin. "I remember you. The little boy with the sad green eyes. But you weren't little. I'd bet you've never been little." I chuckled. "You grabbed my arm whenever I tripped over air. Always seconds before I hit the floor. And the one time you tripped, I cleaned your cuts with my shirt. I even remember the way you'd look at me. I didn't understand then."

I lifted my head and looked him in the eye before continuing. "I understand now. You were falling. I'm falling too," I breathed.

Cold, tapered fingers touched my cheek, and my eyes closed for a moment as I savored his touch.

"I've missed you," he said.

My eyes moistened. "You knew where I was. Why did Alice keep you a secret? Why didn't you find me?"

He shook his head, and his lip quivered almost imperceptibly. "We can't be, Bella. You and I. We can't."

"Why?"

He leaned his forehead against mine. "I'm not…I'm not whole. I can't be what you need."

Determined, I grabbed his face between my hands. "You're acting like Jasper. You're being a drama king."

He raised an eyebrow almost in warning, "Do not compare me to your brother."

"You have something against my brother?" I asked, hoping I would finally gain a kernel of information about Edward and Jasper's history.

"He's with Alice," Edward said.

"Yes. And?"

"Do I need another reason?"

I stared. "Does that mean Jasper has the right to hate you?"

"Why? Are you saying I'm with you?" he asked.

I was silent.

He leaned slightly forward. "Am I with you, Bella?"

"You said you can't be."

His eyes, previously so dark, lightened a little. "I'm with you, Bella, if you say it. Say it and mean it."

I don't know how I knew what he meant, but I did.

"I want you, Edward. All of you."

With a hungry moan, he grabbed the flimsy towel around me and fisted it. When he tore it off, I stood there without complaint, utterly naked and mesmerized by the man before me. Because in the ways that mattered, he was naked too.

"Bella," he whispered.

"Edward."

His name was permission. It was admittance. It was an answer to so much. And he understood, pulling me close and promptly sucking a nipple into his mouth. I melted, and he kept me standing. We stayed there for so long, just kissing and groping as much as we could until he lifted me onto a countertop and spread my legs.

My ass was cold from the marble, but I panted from the heat coursing through my veins and the throbbing both within my flushed chest and between my open thighs.

Edward Cullen was staring at me like he was about to eat me. In more ways than one.

"Bella?" he asked. "Can I? Has anyone ever…?"

I shook my head, furiously encouraging him to continue. Wherever this was leading, it had to get there fast or I would pitifully combust from unfulfilled need.

"No, never," I said. Then I moaned out a "Pleeeeeeeease" that had me blushing scarlet.

Edward yanked me closer and swiftly swiped his tongue straight up my pussy. Then he did it again. And again.

I screamed.

He smirked.

I whimpered.

He nibbled.

Finally, his tongue probed my opening—hesitantly at first before plunging inside.

"Edward-oh my g—EDWARD!"

He was relentless with his pace. He plundered my body like he could take in my very soul through his mouth. I began thrashing like the slut he had accused me of being, grabbing his hair and tugging with unbridled lust and virginal enthusiasm.

"Fuck, you taste like my dreams come true," he murmured, his lips still attached to me. "So wet, so luscious, so miraculously MINE right now."

Pleasure and pain fought like demonic twins in my body, infusing me with a delicious feeling to which I knew I could grow addicted. Apparently, he was my brand of heroin.

I glanced down to see his lips glistening from my moisture. The sight sent me into small convulsions.

"Yes," I panted desperately. "More."

My fingers dug into Edward's scalp, but he only moaned and worked determinedly faster, never lifting his face long enough that I lost the fire. It tingled as a tight coil deep in my belly, expanding until the pressure there hit its peak, and just when my world reached an impossible height, I fell.

The descent was long and frightening because of how amazing it felt. My body was not mine anymore. I had no control in this moment. I just knew I was different now.

I could only feel the pleasure his tongue allowed me—nothing else-and I never felt more secure in allowing someone such total control over my body and its emotions.

The spasms rocked through me with amazing force, and all I could hear were Edward's encouraging words as his fingers replaced his tongue, curling and twisting within me, drawing out the pleasure like honey from a hive.

Finally stilling, I looked up to see Edward looming beautifully above me. His sweet, sweet smile lit my world. Practically cooing to me as if I'd been a good child, he gathered my limp figure in his arms and wrapped me in a jacket that smelled wonderfully like him.

Blissfully engulfed in Edward, I felt my eyelids droop.

As he carried me, I thought I heard him say, "Practice in fifteen minutes, baby. Sorry."

_**8o8o8o8o8o**_**8**

The delicious tingling in my legs felt so good, and the covers tucked around my body were so warm, but something was definitely bothering me. I pushed it away, fighting with the thought that I should get up—until realization glared within my brain as clearly as if it were waving a neon sign.

"PRACTICE!" I screamed and shot out of bed. Then I noticed I needed clothing. Whoops.

Twenty minutes later, I arrived, panting and huffing at the edge of the pool. I stared at my teammates, all frozen in different degrees of surprise. Twenty nine pairs of eyes were burning holes into my skin from within the water.

Hulky Emmet McCarty was the only one grinning. Eric's eyes were bugging out so far from his face, I didn't recognize him at first, and Stephen was just shaking his head.

The Timely Twins, or Jack and Kevin Handelsberg, astutely drew their hands across their necks to signal my impending demise.

_Oh, please, don't kill me. Please. I just had the best experience of my life. Don't tarnish it with a torturous death._

"Swan!" someone called.

Heart beating furiously in my chest, I turned to see Coach Drake stomping his way down the bleachers with his megaphone swinging at his side. His long raven hair flung wildly about his face.

"Where the hell have you been? You suddenly think team practice is voluntary?"

He stalked ever closer, the glow in his eyes turning brighter with each foot forward. When he was so close I could feel his breath on my cheek, he lifted the megaphone between us and said, "GET IN THE FUCKING WATER AND PRAY THAT YOUR CAPTAIN HAS MERCY ON YOUR SOUL!"

Great. Everyone already sensed Edward's dislike for me and knew I was dead meat. Even the fucking coach looked half-gleeful that I was about to get it.

Frightened and practically deafened from the megaphone, I didn't hear anything before I felt large hands wrap around my ankles and dump me into the water.

I moved my limbs frantically, finally reaching air and gulping in precious oxygen.

But I was too afraid to speak once I spied Edward, wet and powerful, sitting at the edge of the pool like an omnipotent judge—but instead of a gavel, he had a forbidding whistle slung around his neck, and his fingers were steepled before him in thought.

_Those fingers. Damn, they were just inside me, stroking, inflaming, loving, fucking. _

I may have stared too long. But it was worth it.

"Swan," Edward said warningly.

I looked up. He didn't _seem_ murderous.

But everything had gone deathly still.

Edward pushed himself off the poolside and entered the water, his whistle floating on the surface until his head emerged.

Cullen shook his head to remove the wet strands of copper hair in his eyes. He was wearing a jammer today, so his stunning chest was on display as he made his way towards me.

_Yeah, this is why girls aren't allowed on men's teams. They gape at chests when they should worry about looming death. _

Finally face to face, Edward and I remained there a moment, treading water and staring. Everyone gathered round, forming a perfect circle in the water.

The crowd scared me more than Edward did.

I tried to fear him, tried to remind myself that I was in trouble. Yet one look at that face only sent love and desire sparking through my veins.

What was he thinking right now?

Normally, Edward didn't face me properly when he spoke to "Jasper." He seemed to look away, usually off to the right.

But now, he looked straight into my eyes with a mysterious determination.

"Why are you late?" he asked softly but with enough authority to make me pay proper attention.

Of course, I'd thought up a brilliant excuse on my way here.

"My sister," I croaked out. "She's visiting, and I couldn't find her."

To his credit, Cullen looked slightly ashamed, only enough so that I could see it for a second.

"Is she okay?"

"Yeah, turns out she fell asleep in Alice's room."

He nodded, looking away now. "Yeah, well, do thirty laps in the tenth lane as penance then join practice." His voice grew slightly sterner when he said, "Don't let this happen again. Your sister can take care of herself."

He swam away and the circle broke off to give him space. I was left staring at the team, who stared right back, mouths agape at the divine intervention that must have occurred to leave me in one peace.

Coach looked shocked too, but he clapped Edward on the back when he got in the pool himself.

Unwilling to push my luck, I headed off to start my punishment—my extremely lenient punishment—with a secret smile in my heart.

As I swam, I suddenly realized I was no longer in the water. I was on Emmet's back.

He was enormous. Abnormally large for a swimmer, in my opinion, but abnormally fast too. His muscles helped more than they hurt. I was glad because I loved this man and his antics both in and out of the water.

_**8o8o8o8o8o**_**8**

When Emmet and I met, he was completely naked and wearing devil horns in the locker room. I tried not to look. But with his childish dimples and expressive brown eyes, he was ridiculously handsome. _And hung. _

He was also grasping a red pitchfork in his right fist.

Emmet poked my arm by way of introduction.

"So you're the silver bullet from tryouts," he smirked. "Guess I gotta watch it, huh? You were only a couple tenths of a second behind me in the breaststroke, not to mention you blew everyone out of the water with the free."

I smiled, glad to have made a friend—until he slammed me up against my locker.

When Emmet smirked, I wondered why I ever thought his dimples were childish.

"Little piranha," he said softly, "you're swimming with sharks here, and it'll take a lot of bitching to survive in this tank. Think this little body has what it takes?"

Mutely, I nodded.

And was surprised once again.

"There's something wrong with you," he said, poking me at close range in various places: legs, toes, stomach, and shoulder. "I can't place it . . ."

I struggled for composure until he said, "But I like it."

We laughed a bit after that, and I even teased him about the picture of a buxom blonde dynamo he'd taped to the outside of his locker. She was half-naked and had one finger crooked as if to say, "Come hither, men. I know what you want, and I just may give it to you. At a price."

Emmet shoved his pitchfork in my mouth for asking if she was a prostitute.

What I did not realize was that he jokingly poked me in the crotch while I was later busy staring at Edward.

And I didn't make a sound.

_**8o8o8o8o8o**_**8**

Now, he turned his head to talk to me as he sliced our way through the water.

"So Silver Bullet, why were you really late?" Emmet asked.

I bit his neck, but he just laughed. "If you must know, I was busy fucking my girlfriend, E."

He laughed harder.

"What," I asked, "has it been _that_ long since you got some?"

"If _you_ must know, Rosalie had some nice things to say to my balls last night."

I smacked him across the head, but he didn't flinch, just continued swimming like the Olympic champion everyone knew he'd be.

"Emmet!" Coach Drake called. "Where the hell are you going now?"

Emmet slid me off his back in the ninth lane and bumped my shoulder with his fist. "Enjoy your workout. Find me afterward. I have news about a fuckawesome party I'm planning."

He rejoined the team, and I began my laps. Shutting out the world, I just set off with freestyle.

The water hugged me in its centuries-old way, enveloping my form and lifting me like an old friend.

Stroke, kick, breathe, stroke, kick, breathe. I could never tire of this perfect routine.

Punishment never felt so good, in fact.

As I approached the touchpad for the final time, I stretched my fingertips and came to a stop. I remained underwater for a moment, savoring the silence. My heart was at peace here. Everything was still and sweet and perfect. I almost hated my need for oxygen.

When I came up for air, Coach Drake had his face pressed up against mine from his seat at the pool's edge.

I could see drops of water falling from his wet hair.

He smirked slightly. "Set another record, did you?"

I gulped. "Uh-?"

"Get out and join the team. I'll put up your time with the rest of the informal records on our scoreboard."

As he walked off, I noticed he was smiling.

I smiled too.

_**8o8o8o8o8o**_**8**

Practice was murder that afternoon. Edward was like a slave driver, but at least he practiced alongside us. If we did pushups, he did ten extra. If we practiced the IM, he was part of each rotation while the rest looked on.

"You don't need to come up for air so much, Richardson!" he called. "And Jack, stop messing around with your brother. I don't need red dye in the pool! Ten laps and fifty pushups—right now! Smiling? Well, you too Kevin."

"I'm not Kevin!" Kevin said.

"Yeah, I'm Kevin," his twin claimed.

Edward pulled them by their ears and dunked their heads for a full minute. When he allowed them some air, he asked, "You guys forget you each have a distinguishing pattern of freckles on your ugly foreheads?"

I guffawed with everyone else.

"You memorized my freckles?" Kevin asked, his mouth half open.

Edward leaned in towards him. "I even fucking memorized your file in the principal's office. It's ten times as thick as everyone else's—except your twin's. Sorry to say he's got ten pages on you."

At that, Jack looked way too proud for his own good.

As the twins suffered their punishment, we continued the last half of practice on the track outside.

Drake took the reins from Edward and set us off on a 3k run.

Everyone was slightly lagging behind, but Damien Hale was running alongside me and Edward was a few feet ahead.

I had to admit that Damien was the hottest thing on the track beside Edward. With hair as black as night, eyes as blue as the sky above us, and a body designed for sin, he was physically amazing. And according to the locker room chat, he was also Edward's best friend. Simply remembering that he'd come in second during tryouts ensured my respect for him.

He turned to me now and tweaked my nose while jogging. "So Bumblebee, want to make this a race?"

I smirked as I blushed. "You're on, Big Dipper."

Damien instantly sped off, his powerfully long legs stretching as he sprinted. I kept pace with him for the first few meters, then I grabbed his shirt from behind and pulled.

"Cheater!" he called, half-laughing.

"You have no idea!" I called back.

We tied in the end, but it felt like we both lost because Edward informally entered the race and practically beat us black and blue with his inhuman speed.

_Damn, I can't even hate him for it. He looks so happy when he runs._

Night had fallen when Edward called practice to an end, and we headed to the lockers feeling like we always did after our workouts—exhausted in the best way possible.

The twins were loitering outside, and Edward sighed in frustration as he turned around to chastise them once more. I didn't think he would put up with their shit if they hadn't come in fourth and fifth at tryouts. Not to mention, they loved pranking the other teams.

They had pledged during our first team practice to steal at least thirteen school mascots before the end of the season. They said thirteen is their favorite number.

Edward smiled and offered them a hundred bucks if they could double that.

I hoped it was a sign that he had a sense of humor.

"Bumblebee! Get the fuck over here and help me," Damien was calling.

I rushed over to his locker and said, "Eh? Need help finding the toilets again?"

"Very funny," he answered. "I'm wearing my jammers underneath my running clothes. Help me get them off. They're spitefully tight. Pull the legs."

He lifted a foot, and I stared at it for a second in panic. "Yeah, that's—."

"Swan's helping me clean out my locker today," Emmet said from the other side of the room. "I have condoms that need sorting."

"Uh, yeah. That's right," I said in disgusted relief.

Damien rightfully looked at me like I was insane. "You'd rather help that beast clean his locker? Haven't you caught a whiff of the stench emanating from its depths?"

I chuckled nervously. "Exactly. He's in desperate need of help." I waved. "Okay, bye."

I rushed to Emmet.

He was leaning against a locker with one foot on a bench.

"You're about to enter the ArmPit," he announced. "Please hold on to your seats and do not exit until the safety light flashes."

_Ew. Was this really worth not helping Damien? I mean, everyone walks naked around here anyway . . . and they're all so hot . . .so, so hot . . . Yeah, but it's not like you should look below the belt, Bella!_

I tried telling myself I made the right choice and braced myself as Emmet opened his locker.

Then I died.

_**8o8o8o8o8o**_**8**

I looked up to see a myriad of faces staring down at me. They spun in dizzying circles.

"What was it like?" someone asked.

"Yeah! Speak to us," another voice demanded.

I realized I was on the floor and groaned.

"Jasper, what were you thinking?" Edward's voice cut through the din. "I warned you about the ArmPit."

"I—I—gah," I mumbled.

Someone slapped me. "Fuck!" I shouted, leaning up. "What the hell was that for?"

"Come again, Swan?"

Coach Drake was staring at me. Again. He shook his head like I was an idiot.

Sadly, I agreed with him. "Sorry, Coach."

Kevin grabbed me by the shoulder. "Jasper! What was it like? Fucking tell me! I need to know."

My head lolled pitifully on my shoulders. I could feel myself going under again. "Such things—should—they should never—no, no, no!"

"Shut UP, KEVIN."

Edward was taking charge again. That hottie. Yum, yum, yumminess.

"What's he calling yummy?" Damien asked from somewhere.

Hehe. Damien is a cutie patootie. Like a bunny. Squishy Mushy Hale. Moohoo.

"Is it just me, or has he lost it?"

Someone slapped a hand over my mouth. I think it was Emmet. The hand smiled like lilacs. Disturbing much? Yes, but sweet. Yum.

Emmet continued, "Everyone, go away. I clearly underestimated the power of my man cave, but Jasper's just dazed. Walk away, that's it. Just walk away."

I felt like I was being lifted and carried for a while. Then I was flying in the air.

Fucking Emmet just threw me in the pool.

_**8o8o8o8o8o**_**8**

"How are you feeling, Swan?" Edward asked, glancing up from his textbook that night.

He smiled slightly when I groaned from atop my bed.

"Serves you right for even contemplating such a thing," he said. "Emmet's locker? You might as well have jumped off a cliff."

"I get that now," I snapped. "Can you shut up? I'm recuperating here."

I moaned in agony for effect.

Silence.

Then: "You kind of sound like your sister."

Well, that shut me up.

_**8o8o8o8o8o**_**8**

I sat next to Edward during first period the next day. He was wearing an embroidered green sweater over his uniform, and the color emphasized his eyes so well, I was momentarily distracted as I stepped into the classroom.

He was engaged in a friendly but heated debate with Dr. Willsworth about Shakespeare's intent behind the controversial character of the Jewish moneylender in _The Merchant of Venice_, so as he gestured emphatically with his hands, my thoughts grew dirty all over again.

_I love his hands. _

The previous night was excruciating. Sleeping in the same room as Edward Cullen without the ability to touch him hurt physically. Everything inside me felt knotted up and tense.

After all, I could vividly recall his breath on my skin and his lips at my ear.

And nothing could compare to his lips even lower. Way, way lower.

Passion was new to me, but I thrilled to it, fully dragged along with the promise of forever—the forever of feelings that I would remember always.

When I took a seat by Edward in class, I grew secretly giddy that a corner of his mouth lifted in a half- smile instead of turning down into a scowl.

Dr. Willsworth currently had us paired up to analyze a few of Shakespeare's sonnets. She let every other person in the room have his choice of partner out of the other half of students. I was a lucky one as part of the former half, and clearly, I chose Edward.

Now, I flipped through the thick book before me in search of the perfect sonnet for the assignment.

But Edward had other things on his mind.

"So, do you have any brothers or sisters besides your twin?" he asked me, ignoring his own book for the moment.

I knew he knew the answer to his question, but I played along, wondering why he'd started the small talk for once instead of brooding quietly.

"No, it's just us," I answered.

"Like Alice and I."

"Yeah," I said, grinning.

"Are you two pretty close?"

I leaned in. "I think so."

"How close?"

"Very. It's tough attending different schools, especially since this is a boarding school, but we've really needed to be there for each other ever since we were born. It's a twin thing. So we make the distance work."

Edward seemed contemplative, and his eyes darted around the room for a bit. His hair stuck up rebelliously, and he ran a hand through it, making it worse and better at the same time.

"I love Alice," he finally said. "But she'd much rather spend time with you."

I cocked my head in question, wondering why he never seemed to want to spend time with Alice. I never saw them doing anything together, and come to think of it again, Alice had never even mentioned him to me for years. There was a degree of love in Edward's eyes when he referred to her in conversations, but it was tempered by sadness. I didn't know what to make of them now. Why was he ignoring her?

But Edward didn't continue that train of thought, veering off elsewhere instead.

"Did you know," he said, "that I met Isabella when we were little?"

"No, I didn't. What was she like?"

Edward leaned his head on his arms. "She had a pink button for a nose and banana peels for feet. And she smiled a lot. And I mean a lot. Her face lit up everyone's day. Without fail."

He paused and seemed to make up his mind about something. He lifted his head to say, "Listen, man. I like her. Very, very much and I need to see her again. Can I have her number? Or an email address or something?"

Something akin to colossal joy erupted in my chest like a rapidly growing blossom.

"Why didn't you just ask Alice?" I wondered.

"I did," he said sheepishly. "She refused to give it to me. She said I should ask Isabella for it, but how am I supposed to do that if I can't contact her in the first place?"

_Clever pixy. That was oddly sweet of her. _

"Well," I said, drawing out the word, "I _could_ give you an email address. But you'd have to work for it."

Edward didn't even look surprised. "What is it you want?"

"Let me think," I said, tapping a finger against my chin.

But I didn't have time to finish the thought because a bloodcurdling scream filled the room. I looked around in a panic, wondering what was going on because everybody looked fine, albeit surprised just like me.

Then I noticed little Bree Hayley in the back of the room with a stapler in one hand and her thumb in front of her eyes like it was the most frightening thing she'd ever had the misfortune to see.

She was screaming like the world had just caught fire.

I realized her finger was bleeding pretty badly and that in everyone's shock, no one was trying to do a thing about it.

Bursting from my seat, I was at her side in seconds.

"Bree? Bree, look at me. It's just a bit of blood. You're alright," I soothed. "Look into my eyes and take a deep breath."

She whimpered slightly then continued screaming. I could see her eyes begin to lose focus and roll back, so I grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to unlock her gaze and direct it at me.

"Hush. Shhhh. It's alright." I pulled her into a hug, and her screams lessened in volume. After a minute they died down. Soon, she was hiccupping with her head on my shoulder.

I pulled her gently to the side in my arms to wipe her finger with a napkin as discretely as I could.

When I looked at her again, I noticed she was unconscious. Craaaaaaaaaaap.

"Breee?" I nudged her while I spoke. "Bree?"

Visibly shaken, Dr. Willsworth finally pulled it together and approached us. "Jasper, thank you so much for calming her. She needs to see the nurse."

_Thank you for that brilliant analysis, Only Adult in the Room._

She faced the class and said, "I need someone to carry Bree upstairs to the nurse's office. Any two men willing to lend a hand?"

No one moved until Edward stood up, his hair in his face as he scowled at the unresponsive classroom. He walked up to me and took Bree gently into his arms, lifting her with infinite care, like one would handle a porcelain doll. She looked so tiny against him.

He made my heart melt all over again with his genuine concern.

"Thank you, Edward," Dr. Willsworth said, nodding approvingly. "Go with him, Jasper, and see to it that Bree remains calm if she wakes on the way."

We headed off towards the elevators silently.

When we entered the elevator, I pressed the button for the fourth floor and peered at Edward. He was carefully rearranging Bree in his arms.

"IsabellaS21," I said. "That's the gmail address. She checks it constantly."

"Got it. Thank you," Edward whispered as we stepped out onto the fourth floor and made a right.

The marble flooring changed patterns here. It went from solid grey to crisscrossing black and blue, the school colors. This was the location of many administrative offices and faculty rooms. I waved when I noticed Esme walking down the hall. She smiled in response, looking distracted although her stunning face glowed as she passed us.

We left Bree with the nurse, who ushered us out the moment we placed the still unconscious girl on a cot.

"This isn't my first encounter with Bree," Nurse Evans said stiffly as we were practically booted from the place.

"She seems nice," I said to Edward when the door shut soundly in our faces.

He scoffed. "Well, let's hope she doesn't murder anyone in her quest to heal the world." Sighing, he turned slightly towards me. "Do you mind if we stop by the principal's office on the way back? My dad promised he'd lend me some SAT prep books from his bookshelf."

"Sure," I replied, happy for more time with Edward. "How's Principal Cullen these days?"

"Fine. Same as usual I guess," Edward muttered as we approached the only office with a gold door, bearing a placard engraved with the words 'Principal Carlisle Cullen.'

When no one answered Edward's knock, he fished a key from his pocket and let us in, locking the door behind him.

The office was spacious and supremely elegant, reminding me of the Oval Office for some reason. Cherry wood furniture adorned the room, and gold framed paintings hung on the rich burgundy walls. Two plush armchairs faced a fireplace, a large desk sat by the window, and a single shelf of books lined the walls in a quaint but modern way. I decided I liked the principal's taste.

"The books we're looking for should be in that closet," Edward said, pointing to a door to the right, which I hadn't noticed before.

We stepped inside the closet, which was large enough to be its own room, and searched the large bookshelf against one wall for any preparatory texts the principal had in stock.

As I was reaching for one, Edward silently grabbed me from behind and slapped a hand over my mouth.

I froze in fear and confusion before he whispered in my ear, "Shhh. Listen."

Not loosening his grip on me, he inched us closer to the slightly open closet door.

I strained my ears and my eyes opened wide when I realized what I was hearing. Some time while we were in here, Principal Cullen returned, and judging by the panting and moaning emanating from his office, he was not alone.

I peeped through the crack to see my principal in an armchair, pants at his knees and his hands fisted in thick, caramel-colored hair situated between his legs.

_Wait a fucking minute. I know that hair._

"God, yes, Esme," he was panting. "Suck harder, love."

_Holy fucking *8*8s**moo****! What is it with Cullens and blowjobs in academic settings? _

I heard Edward gagging behind me. He'd let me go and sequestered himself in a corner with his hands over his ears.

Karma was a delightful bitch.

I looked back to see Esme in Carlisle's lap. Her ruined top was on the ground, buttons everywhere. She was grinding against him as he palmed her ass and snuck his hand into her skirt from behind.

"Get up, Esme," he growled.

She whimpered as he lifted her and placed her, stomach-down, on a brown leather couch. He promptly got on top of her and pulled down her skirt.

"You were ordered to the principal's office for bad behavior. So, what do you have to say for yourself, Esme?"

He pulled her ass up into the air and drew in a ragged breath.

"Nothing. I'm not sorry," she whispered, clearly baiting him and every bit as turned on as he was. I couldn't stop myself from watching.

I wanted to close my eyes. But I couldn't. I just couldn't. This was better than any movie I'd ever seen. It had amazing elements of adult horror, inappropriateness, and lust.

"Not sorry? You're not sorry?" Carlisle was saying. His voice rose with every word.

Edward sucked in a breath, probably in abject fear.

"I explicitly forbid you from wearing form-fitting clothing, and you show up in this? Are you mad or fucking suicidal?"

She didn't answer. I'd guess it was because he'd thrust his cock into her from behind, but I couldn't watch anymore to confirm. A virgin had her limits after all.

But the sounds continued.

"Dammit to hell, Carlisle! Can't you go any faster?"

"You're too tight. So wet but so freaking tight!"

"I wouldn't be so tight if you fucked me more often, you uptight academic," she snapped right before moaning so loudly I think Edward's head exploded.

"I'm your employer!" Carlisle admonished as if he weren't inside her, pumping her brains out with his cock right then.

"Well, you can employ my body too, you know!"

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck . . ." Carlisle chanted.

"Damn, that's the spot," Esme breathed.

They didn't say anymore for a few long minutes as I huddled next to Edward. He stared at me in horror when the noises grew to a climax, but my school principal and favorite teacher thankfully muffled their final screams against something. Probably each other.

It was quiet for a bit afterward—except for the post-coital huffing and moaning.

Edward and I were understandably afraid to breathe. We heard some scrambling as the two lovers ultimately donned their clothes.

"If you wear anything like that again, Esme," Carlisle finally said, "I will not only have your job, but I will tear you and your garments to shreds."

"Okay, sir. It won't happen again," she promised.

But even I could tell that it sure as hell would.

When they had definitely left, Edward and I breathed a simultaneous sigh of relief.

"That literal fucker," Edward cursed, his hands tearing at his hair. "How many times has he chastised me for screwing at school?"

"How many times is that exactly?" I asked.

"Shut up, Swan," he bit back, abruptly turning his glare on me. "You will not speak a word to anyone of what you witnessed here today. You understand me?"

He advanced until I was backed up against a wall. It felt rather arousing actually.

"I don't want to hurt your dad," I said honestly. "I respect him."

"This isn't about ruining his reputation," Edward said. "It's Esme who'd be hurt if this got out. She's like a mother to me. Get that?"

I nodded frantically.

"And my dad doesn't need to know I know either."

"Would that really be so bad?" I asked.

He paused before answering.

"No, but this information could prove useful for me in the future."

_Well, fuck me. Edward Cullen is a badass after all._

_

* * *

**A/N: Things can get pretty naughty at Coldridge, huh? **_

_**I won't ask for a specific number of reviews this time. It wouldn't be fair.**_

_**But if you want Carlisle or Edward to come to you at night to tear your clothes off and send you into a coma-inducing, orgasmic state of bliss, I would press the review button. **_

_**Just saying.**_

_**And I'll send you a teaser as soon as I'm halfway through the next chapter.**_

_**It's good to be back, lovely readers. ;)**_


	9. Not So Fooled

**A/N: Hey, everyone, this chapter is full of a bit of everything, including some angst, some humor, some drama, and some revelations. **

**Enjoy reading! **

**Sorry I didn't have much time to edit, but I thought you'd appreciate an update sooner rather than later.**

* * *

**To: IsabellaS21**

**From: CullenH20**

Hello Isabella (or do you prefer Bella?),

This is Edward Cullen. Your brother gave me your email address so I could contact you. I have to apologize for leaving after we . . .well, after Monday. Swim team practice has been more intense than ever this year. Most people don't know that the pressure has reached a maximum degree now that most of us are seniors. Regardless, it took a massive amount of strength to watch you sleep peacefully in my arms, but to put you down without crawling into bed with you.

I'm not sure what else to say except: I'd like to see you again. Can we meet on our own terms this time? Deliberately?

Yours,

Edward

P.S. You taste like the sweet strawberries that used to grow in my backyard.

* * *

**To: CullenH20**

**From: IsabellaS21**

Hi Edward,

I like my nickname, but Isabella sounds surprisingly sweet from your lips. Normally it seems formal—almost pretentious.

So, if we meet, what would we do?

P.S. I want to know how you taste.

**

* * *

To: IsabellaS21**

**From: CullenH20**

Isabella,

Don't tease me. I'm provoked easily, and you might not like the intensely sexual consequences. Ever been bent over a couch?

And on a different note, the first swim meet of the season is this week on Friday afternoon. Would you like to watch me compete then go out together afterward? If my team wins, we could all have a celebratory dinner and then you and I could watch a movie. Any movie you like.

P.S. Say yes to dinner.

P.P.S. Tell Jasper I might murder him if he tries to cheer me up with rap songs before bed again. I don't care what he says, he is not Eminem's twin.

**

* * *

To: CullenH20**

**From: IsabellaS21**

Edward Cullen, what have you got against my brother?

**

* * *

To: IsabellaS21**

**From: CullenH20**

Since when do you call me "Cullen"? And are you evading my dinner proposal?

**

* * *

To: CullenH20**

**From: IsabellaS21**

I don't date men who keep secrets from me.

**

* * *

To: IsabellaS21**

**From: CullenH20**

Fair enough. Then here's your answer: I like Jasper. More so now that I've spent time with him. There's not much to dislike besides his laziness with schoolwork and the public groping sessions with Alice that he subjects me to.

But I can't help how my hatred towards him sometimes flares.

Come to the game, and I'll explain my natural animosity towards your brother. In fact, meet me twenty minutes beforehand, and I can _show_ you.

* * *

BPOV

Edward Cullen was driving me crazy.

I didn't know what to do. I desperately wanted to go on a date with him. But how could I do so on the same day as the game? The world was not ready for me to attempt something so risky.

And he'd expect to talk both me and Jasper wouldn't he? If he was going to prove something?

I refused to write back for a while as I struggled with the decision. I considered asking him to meet me another time, but that would seem like a rejection. It's not like I could meet him earlier than the end of this week.

The world continued spinning on its axis as I continued ignoring Edward's confused emails, which piled up neatly in my inbox.

* * *

EPOV  
5 years ago  
Olga's Orphanage  
New York City, New York

In a four-walled, crumbling building, two hundred children attempt to live alone. Surrounded by others, the only thing they have in common is their solitude.

I am now one of them.

I step through the forbidding doors with a gasping Alice huddled at my side, and I realize how proper this derelict place is for us. It too is falling in on itself.

I hug my twin closer, wishing my arms could be enough for her, yet knowing I could never be all she needs.

Last week's fire took so much, and yet nothing. Father is gone. His iron grey eyes will never look at me again. His hands will never wrap around my neck again. His threats against Alice will never pierce my heart again.

These realizations should make me happy, but they only remind me that Mother is gone as well. Due to her own will though. The guilt compounds in my gut. I hated her. I cursed her passivity. Blamed her cowardice.

I hated how she watched him beat me. I hated her empty eyes.

And now I hate that she's gone. I hate that she killed them both, so her children would be safe but alone.

I only feel hatred. For everything but my sister.

Alice glances up at me, her eyes glistening but her face dry. I know this imploring look, so I do as she wishes.

I pick up her small body, cradling her in my arms and trying to remember how to feel something good.

She shivers but snuggles ever closer, her tiny hands wrap around my neck and grip me like a lifeline. She whimpers then quiets. Oh, little Alice. Her existence reminds me why I need to lift my head and follow the social worker inside.

Papers are signed and exchanged, promises made, and fake concern offered. I nod politely and pretend to be fooled. The social worker leaves, and the lady before me tries to take Alice.

I growl, and she steps away.

We're taken to our room, or a communal room as it should be called. Fifty cots line opposite walls, and now these people are really trying to take Alice.

"She can't sleep here with the boys," one lady says softly.

The other woman has a thirties mustache and smells like rank sweat. She plays the bad cop in this scenario. She forcefully tugs Alice out of my arms, and soon my sister wails at the top of her lungs as if she's reverted to infancy.

I'm sure she feels like an infant. I do too. Our emotions are raw now. They're new and scary.

She cries as they take her away, and I let them because the boys in here look dirty and bad-tempered. They might try something with her.

But under the covers ten minutes later, I decide I was wrong and creep into the dusky hallway. The doors are all the same here and it takes an hour to find the girls' room despite how small the building may have initially seemed.

Soon, she's in my arms again and we're headed to my bed. Once there, Alice wraps herself around me like a pretzel, I hide her beneath a sheet, and we sleep.

The next few weeks are okay because they pass.

But they soon turn into a nightmare: Alice will not let me hold her anymore. She calls herself a burden and keeps to the corners of any room that she's in.

"I won't bother you. I swear," she says to me, over and over as if I've chastised her.

I'm at a loss. "Ally, please. You're not a bother. Please let me stay."

"No," she says with more force than she's shown since our arrival. She vehemently shakes her head. "I want to be alone. Go away."

"Ally."

"No."

"I love you, Ally."

She cries, and I move away in fear of causing more pain.

The grey in everything startles me sometimes. I've been depressed before. And I've wanted to die before. But that wish had always been a foolish one that I knew was more a passing thought than a desire. Now the macabre thought follows like a ghost, taunting me. I fight the urge.

I am strong, I say to myself. Life is hard and death is easy. I will always need to live.

But my reason has always been Alice.

I sit in an opposite corner and watch Alice every day. There is nothing else to do.

Until one day, a girl arrives who changes everything. She changes Alice and she changes me. She hugs Alice and dunks her into the pond and brings her presents.

"I'm Bella," she says to Alice, rubbing her cute pink nose and dragging around a tattered bunny rabbit. "Wanna be friends?"

Alice is speechless. But Bella takes that as a yes. When she leaves the first day, I never expect her to return, but she does.

Alice smiles now, and she talks to me again as her confidence rises with every visit Bella makes.

After a year, I begin to realize Bella means more to me than I thought anyone other than Alice could. And in a completely different way.

People say love is about knowing someone's deepest and darkest secrets. Or it's about knowing what kind of ice cream your sweetheart likes and why her favorite color is blue or purple or green.

I know none of this about Bella Swan. Nothing deep and nothing simple.

I am fourteen years old. A grownup child.

And all I know is that when she giggles, my heart races. When she's around, my sister is happy. And when she opens her mouth to speak, the whole world stills in anticipation.

Isabella is the light at the end of the dark tunnel that is my life. She dispels the demons. That's all I know.

But that's all it takes to love her.

_**

* * *

**_EPOV  
Present day

Darkness always troubled me. Not when I was awake, but when I was not.

So when it threatened to suck me into its inky depths, I slipped out of bed and headed to the gym to sweat out the troubling emotions.

Campus was shrouded in blackness all around. I laughed at how "un"-scary it was now that I was conscious.

I grabbed a basketball and headed to the indoor court, where I heard the squeak of sneakers against the floor. Turning a corner out of the locker room and onto the court, I spotted Emmet. He dribbled around in circles, sweat pouring off his body as he jumped an impressive number of feet into the air and practically thrust his ball into the baskets.

Emmet was mad. And he was wearing his leopard print sweats. The ones with a tail.

This was very bad indeed.

"Hey, man," I said in greeting.

He nodded but didn't stop moving. I threw my ball aside and joined him.

Emmet tossed me his ball and we began playing one-on-one.

"Why the fuck are you up already, Emmet?" I asked, trying to grab his tail.

He scoffed as he effectively blocked me before stealing the ball. "Because the world's a madhouse, and Shakespeare was right. We're all just idiot players."

"But he called the world a stage."

"What the hell else do you think a madhouse is? It's full of a bunch of people who've lost touch with reality and are trying to be what they're not." Emmet dunked the ball and landed back on the ground with so much force he could have started an earthquake.

I raised a brow. Since when did Emmet get even remotely philosophical?

"Then who are you trying to be, Em?"

He paused and shook his head like a dog. "No, not me, idiot."

"Who?" This conversation was quickly growing confusing.

"Fuck if I know." And just like that, wisecracking Emmet was back. "Well, what about you, Sage Captain? Why are you up and about during the wee hours of the morn?"

He didn't give me an answer but charged at me like a bull.

Quickly, I faked left and aimed the ball. It sailed through the air with precision, and the soft swoosh of the net as I scored made me smile. But I turned to see Emmet scowling at the floor.

"You'll figure it out, Em," I said. "What has you so worked up? Is Rosalie holding back on the oral?"

Instead of slapping me, he headed for the benches.

"Emmet?" I asked as I sat beside him. "Talk to me. You know you can trust me."

He looked at me, almost appraisingly. "I know. But can everybody else?"

"Em? What the hell are you getting at?"

He groaned, pressing a palm against his forehead. "I don't know, man. Forget it."

When he got up and left, I knew better than to follow.

After showering and heading back to my room, I stared at my Blackberry for five minutes, willing it to flash red—to tell me that Isabella finally replied with an affirmative. But the Blackberry remained uncooperative, and I fell back onto my mattress in frustration.

Jasper rolled over in his bed, making soft whimpering sounds that grew disturbing in the mornings. I listened for a second then turned away in disgust. What kind of man whimpered like that? He sounded like a love-starved puppy. Only girls should make that noise in bed.

Like Isabella. She would sound good whimpering.

Stunning, dirty, sweet, and delicious Isabella.

Bella.

Mine.

She would be. I'd decided. No more staying away for Edward Cullen. I could be all she needed, and if I had holes, well, it would have to be her choice whether to accept them or fill them in. Either one or the other.

I clearly could not stay away from Bella Swan, and fate kept throwing her at me.

Who was I to argue with fate?

I didn't know how very well I would soon learn that lesson.

* * *

She was ignoring me. And I couldn't stand it anymore.

"Jasper!" I called behind me. We just finished running during practice, and I needed some answers.

He sidled up to me and grinned, his eyes flashing. For a moment, I felt the oddest urge to just hug him. Thank goodness I was huffing from my run.

"Your sister hasn't replied to my emails," I accused, as if he were the cause. That made me feel better.

"Um, she—"

The sounds of the cheerleaders had me looking to the side. _Crap, here comes Tanya._

"Hi, Tanya," Jasper said, his voice practically dripping with sickly honey.

Smirking, Tanya flipped her hair in his face and turned to me. The look in her eyes wiped any traces of amusement off my face.

She lifted a spindly, manicured hand and touched my cheek. Tanya expertly added a touch of concern to her voice when she said, "How have you been, baby? You look stressed."

I flinched, hating her touch. It had always been tolerable and sometimes quite pleasurable, but today it made me sick.

Jasper decided now was the time to speak.

"I bought a new iPod," he informed me.

Huh?

"Oh and Emmet says he swiped a couple tadpoles from Micky's room, and I want to turn them into frogs. With time and care, you know? It just takes a little love and devotion. LOVE AND DEVOTION, I say."

He started nodding his head as Tanya wrapped herself around me. She tried sneaking a hand into my sweats.

Jasper screamed.

* * *

BPOV

When the hell did I turn into Mike?

* * *

EPOV

I tore Tanya off me. "Jasper, are you okay?" I asked, concerned more for his psychological well-being than anything else.

He stopped that hideous noise and said, "Bella is coming to the game on Friday."

I noticed Tanya slithering closer and pushed her away without looking.

"Why's she coming?" I asked, affecting a casual tone.

"She said you have something to show her."

That last bit seemed directed to the viper behind me, who hissed in response.

* * *

BPOV

Emmet had been glaring at me. He glared at me when I was only sitting by the pool, and he glared at me when I laughed at Damien's jokes. In fact, he glared at me while I simply breathed.

I would ignore him. That was the plan.

So sitting on a bench in the locker room, I listened to the banter around me with interest. As Jasper, I had an opportunity to do what all women in the world would die for: infiltrate the male mind.

"Does it even matter what she looks like, man?" Kevin was asking Damien. "I mean, if she sucks dick like a goddess, she could have the ugliest face in all creation and I'd still keep her around."

Damien slapped Kevin with a Daffy-Duck towel.

Jack spoke up. "Hey, are we talking about sex or girlfriends? Because we all know they're different."

The room erupted in laughter, but I didn't appreciate the joke.

Emmet chose that moment to poke me.

"What?" I asked.

"Don't you think that was funny?" he asked, raising his brows like he'd asked the most serious question known to man.

"Uh, no, not really. Girls are not packages of meat."

Emmett's mouth dropped open. "What the hell is wrong with you?" he asked quietly, almost to himself.

"I don't know what you mean," I replied.

Miffed, I turned to see Edward, bare-chested and sopping wet as he was forced to join the conversation.

"So, Edward," Jack said, dragging out the name. "Ever found a girl worth keeping?"

I perked up at this point, ready to hear Edward talk about me, maybe call me a girl from his past that he really liked and only just found.

But he was silent for a moment, tugging off his swim cap. "No, man," he finally said. "You know what I think. Girls are only worth one thing. A good time."

I couldn't believe he'd say that in front of Jasper.

But then he left. Just like that.

* * *

It was late and dark and no one was around to intrude on my thoughts.

I swung my feet at the pool edge, considering Edward's words.

Did he just want to get between my legs? He did call me a slut after all. But his eyes. Could eyes lie?

I sighed, curling up into a ball and rocking back and forth slowly. Did men just say stupid things about girls all the time? Did they always mean it?

I felt a shiver run through my body as I remembered his touch. The memory felt odd. Almost sickening.

I wanted to know Edward so desperately. I knew I could fall in love with him. The pain in my gut was less about losing him and more about losing the potential of him. I knew we had a long way to go, but maybe now we would never even begin getting there.

Lost in the murky world of conjecture, I recoiled when I felt a warm hand on my shoulder. _Emmett._

He lifted me and put me in his lap. Stunned, I stared at him, wondering what to do.

He simply smiled and wrapped his arms around me, rocking me slowly. "Oh, little fish, he always says that. I know he doesn't mean it," he whispered.

"Emmett? How do you—"

"You're a little fool and a horrible actress. Do you know that men don't usually drool when looking at other men?" He chuckled and kissed my forehead. "Clearly you need some help in this water, piranha."

* * *

_Two days later:_

The home game against Campbell was about to begin. We had only an hour, but that was enough to meet Edward as Bella. It had to be.

I found him waiting for me by the stands, where people had already congregated in masses. It was so crowded I couldn't spot an empty seat.

But Edward didn't want to sit; he walked up to me and immediately had me in a death grip, his arms hugging my body against him so warmly that I knew Emmett was right: Edward did feel more for me.

"You're here," he said against my hair. His sweet breath fanned my cheek when he pulled back to gaze in my eyes.

With hungry eyes, I took in the sight of this man. In a black shirt and grey slacks, he was mouthwatering.

"Yes," I said briskly, in no mood for anything other than what I came for. "Are you going to keep your word?"

"Will you go out with me after the game?"

I raised a brow.

"Sorry," he said sighing. "I know I promised." He turned my body to face the crowd but kept my back to his front as he did so. His hair brushed my cheek as he pulled me closer.

Edward pointed to the last row in the stands. "See that?" he asked softly, almost sorrowfully.

I followed his finger to find tiny Alice, bouncing gleefully on her toes as she held her "JASPER SWAN IS NUMBER ONE" sign into the air.

Edward kissed my head. "She's never done that for me. She rarely even attends my games."

"How did you know she would be here?"

"If she came to tryouts for him, how could she not come for the first game?"

My breath caught in my throat. "You're jealous."

He pulled me closer. "He took her affection. Matched my academic status. And now my identity in the pool. Don't you see? He's taking my life."

**

* * *

A/N: Drop a review. Tell me what you think, and I'll send you a new teaser as soon as I can. **

**If everyone who has this story on alert decides to review, it would be record breaking for me. SO PLEASE? **

**Also, check my profile for later updates about when chapters should be posted.**

**Next chapter is going to have something you've all been waiting for. Care to guess what?  
**


	10. Foolish Nurse

The café lights were dimmed, and the table Edward chose was small. He sat across from me, his hair in his eyes and a weighty silence between us.

Coldridge had won the game that night, mostly due to Edward. He was a powerhouse of unending energy, and I was in awe of him the entire time. I finally realized that who he was in the water was somehow more real than who he was otherwise. His identity was inextricably linked to that pool.

When he hurt, he let the water wash it away for a few precious minutes. Like tonight.

My heart clenched for a moment as I stared at him now.

It seemed as if the claws digging into his soul rarely loosened, but he was free of them while swimming. Just like me. Although I suspected the horrors in his past greatly outweighed mine.

The final question then had to be: How could Alice, the all-knowing pixie, have been so blind to the sorrow she inflicted on her brother?

I knew Edward thought Jasper was the source of his troubles, but I also knew that Edward was simply unwilling to blame Alice. _She_ should have reaffirmed her love for him. She should have made sure that bringing another man into her life would not push her brother away.

After all, they only had each other left in this world. They were blood.

I lifted my head and looked Edward in the eye. I knew I was gazing at a man, and that knowledge stole my breath away. High school students are boys, just as they should be. They are carefree, they've not experienced life's ugly truths, and they've not struggled for something they could never find.

Edward Cullen had clearly been pushed and pulled his entire life, and the person who remained before me was certainly not a boy.

I always knew I could never fall for a boy.

And I was right.

"What are you having?" I asked.

He smiled faintly, probably amused at the banal question when we both knew I wanted to discuss other things.

"The ravioli," he said. "They have a whole list of different stuffings here. It's their specialty. Try it."

"I think I will."

We were silent once more until Edward reached across the table for my hand. "Isabella," he began, his Adam's apple bobbing when he swallowed, "don't judge me too harshly, alright? I—"

"I don't!" I cut in firmly. "I think everyone has a right to his feelings, and so do you."

"But I hate your brother," he said, cocking his head in confusion.

"No, you don't."

"Of course I do," he said more forcefully.

I leaned forward. "Do you really? Or are you upset with Alice for allowing someone else into her life?"

"She deserves to be happy."

"Even if it means forgetting you?"

"She doesn't owe me anything," he said.

This time, I laughed. "You're family. You owe each other everything. I don't know why she let you down, but I'll find out."

He was shaking his head and staring out the window behind me. "It doesn't matter anyway. Jasper and I, well, I think we're okay now. Fucking confuses me. And Alice, well, she's got her own life to live, and I don't think it includes me anymore."

"Why can't she have a boyfriend and a brother? This is ridiculous."

He stared at me for a second, then leaned in too. "Yeah, but you didn't realize all this until I pointed it out, now did you?"

I blinked as the thought settled in my brain. Had Alice not realized it as well?

"Then I'll fucking point it out to her," I said, a light growl coating my voice.

Edward smiled as if he didn't believe me or like he thought it wouldn't matter. Then he looked down at the table. That's when I realized he was still holding my hand.

For some reason, the blood rushed to my cheeks.

I pulled back a little to stroke his palm. "Okay," I decided. "Let's talk about something else—like ravioli stuffing. I want mozzarella cheese. And you?"

"I'm partial to the mushroom."

I don't know why, but I blushed again.

_**8o8o8 MWAC 8o8o8**_

We ended up back at the pool because, apparently, the swim team captain has keys to everything in the gym.

Our feet dipping into the cool water, we sat at the edge, just talking about whatever we felt like talking about.

"You know, I always thought there was more to that show," Edward was saying.

"Yeah, like an underlying message that could change people's view on life," I agreed.

He nodded. "Yeah, the love between the two main characters was just so intense. I got pissed at them sometimes. Why couldn't they just admit it?"

I nodded too. "Yeah, Robin was an idiot. I mean, don't Teen Titans have more courage than that?"

We laughed and were silent again, but it wasn't awkward. Edward's green eyes gazed at me with so much warmth that I knew he was going to kiss me.

His face came nearer and nearer. My eyes closed in anticipation.

Then I was falling backward into the water.

The bastard was laughing at me. Furious, I planned to find a way to pull him in as well, but he deliberately jumped in after me fully clothed.

He was going to creep up on me again!

But instead, he simply ascended from beneath me, curling his arms around my waist as his head surfaced.

Half-heartedly, I struggled in his embrace.

"Well, Miss Swan," he said with a smile tugging at his lips, "it seems you aren't on your guard tonight. Allow me to take advantage."

With a gentle hand against my cheek, he stilled my writhing body. Brushing his thumb back and forth across my lips, he pulled me closer until we were a hairsbreadth away.

When he closed the tiny gap between our bodies, my blood seemed to run faster through my veins. The world froze, but everything between us sped up.

His mouth was sweet, firm, and cool like marble, but felt soft like a goose-down pillow.

A lusty moan rose up within me when I felt a stirring in his pants right against my thigh.

He smirked at me and tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. I sighed and let go of any residual anger because although we were soaked, and my clothing was dragging me down, I'd never felt lighter.

He kissed me all over again—deeply and with a passion that ignited my body, tingling my nerves, and sending sparks into the air.

Ringlets of waves formed and disappeared around us as we made out in the middle of the pool for so long that our skin wrinkled.

When he finally dropped me off at what he thought was my hotel for the night, I could not stop smiling.

_**8o8o8 MWAC 8o8o8**_

The next day, I woke up very early and decided to start off my weekend with a good breakfast.

Envisioning a heavy plate of syrupy pancakes and waffles, I made my way towards the dining hall for the early bird breakfast.

When I arrived, the place was nearly empty.

Perfect.

Sitting down at a table, I noticed another student watching me. His cold grey eyes locked on mine, but he didn't turn away in embarrassment. His smirk was so eerie I instinctively looked down. When I raised my eyes, he was gone.

"Hey, piranha," someone said in my ear.

"Gah!" I shrieked, jumping a foot in my chair. "Emmett, you fucking scared me."

He tugged my wig lightly. "I saw you leave with Edward after the game. So spill."

I punched his shoulder, "Well, sit down then and whisper."

Chuckling, he took a seat in front of me, and I explained in as few words as possible that the date had gone well.

Emmett had been really supportive the past couple of days. It made my heart warm that he was so willing to accept me even though I was directly violating team rules. I knew his loyalty to the team was indestructible, so I asked him a few days ago why he was helping me.

"Because I always like a good story," he'd said and left it at that. I decided then that there's a lot more to Emmett than meets the eye. He listened to my story and my dreams, and he chose to offer support instead of opposition.

He especially liked to tell me what I was doing wrong as a man.

"Number one rule of the locker room: Make inappropriate comments. That means you DO NOT stand up for women unless you want to be called nasty names and made to strip naked—buck naked—in order to determine your gender. It has happened," he warned. "Also, talk about how nice a tight pussy is around your dick, nonexistent as it may be. Or rub some mud in your face and act like a chimp. Whatever. Just don't pull anything stupid like saying women 'have rights.' We know they do. We just don't admit it in our manspace."

This was news to me, but I took the advice, and the weird looks I tend to get had decreased significantly.

Now, as I related the tale of my Friday night date to Emmett, he nodded along, but ultimately, he seemed put out.

"Wait, you mean there were no public brawls? No panty shedding? Nothing I can hold over Edward's head?" Emmett asked.

"You can't hold anything over his head! Because you don't know anything, remember?"

He smiled. "Chill, guppy, you're so paranoid."

I laughed and got up to put my tray on the racks, but as I did, the odd boy I had noticed earlier came to stand behind me.

The silence was so loud I felt like I was suffocating, and I didn't understand the presence of the emotion.

When I turned to find him looking at me, he still didn't say anything.

"Yes?" I asked, hoping he would just leave me alone.

But his ice blond locks remained perfectly gelled in place as he simply tilted his head and remained silent.

After a moment, he stepped forward, placing his own tray away and smirking at me without breaking eye contact.

Then he stepped close—too close—and held his hand out.

I racked my brain, trying so hard to place this student, but I came up with nothing. How should I have played it? What if Jasper knew him? Uncertain, I slowly shook his hand and waited.

Finally, he spoke, saying, "That was a great swim meet last night." His voice was smoky and it curled around me like a snake softly wraps around its prey. "I'm James Cooper, and I write for the _Coldridge Daily. _I'd like to profile you for our Wednesday issue this week."

I noticed the request wasn't a question, and suddenly, I felt a little angry at his attitude.

"No," I said sharply. "I don't have time for an interview."

He spoke even more softly when he said, "It would only take a little while. Just some talking."

Goosebumps erupted on my flesh, and I knew I had to nip this in the bud. "Sorry, James, but this semester is not a good time."

Turning around, I walked away as fast as I could and begged myself to forget those grey eyes.

_**8o8o8 MWAC 8o8o8**_

When I returned to my room, I noticed Edward still in bed, his clothes damp since he hadn't bothered to change before collapsing onto his bed the night before.

He lay atop the covers with his hair plastered to his face and his shirt bunched up to his neck.

I had never seen someone look so stunning.

I tugged another bedspread over him because he looked slightly cold and climbed into my own bed for a nap.

_**8o8o8 MWAC 8o8o8**_

"Jasper?"

_Go away._

"Jasper?"

_He's not here right now. He's in another country. Playing even newer and weirder roles._

"Jaaaasper!"

"What the fuck? He's not here!" I shouted, sleep fogging my brain and loosening my tongue.

"Do you have any Tylenol?" Edward asked, completely accustomed to my groggy nonsense. Which was not really nonsense, if you thought about it with the right perspective.

I moved my head to the side to see that he was hanging onto the ladder by the side of my bed. I noticed his red nose and puffy eyes.

"Are you feeling alright?" I asked, reaching out to feel his forehead.

Edward flinched. "Man, I'm okay, can you just hand over some medicine?"

I stumbled out of bed, the covers twisted around my torso for a moment, before I landed on the ground and headed to our bathroom. When I returned, Edward was shivering in the corner of the room by the heater. I kneeled beside him and held out a couple Tylenol tablets with a cup of water.

He nodded at me and took them with shaking hands. I watched him place the medicine on his tongue, and I was mesmerized for a moment by his mouth. Thankfully, I remembered what Emmett had said about my weird tendency to stare at Edward. Needless to say, I snapped out of it as soon as I could.

I did, however, sit closer and offer him a sandwich.

I'm not sure why except that's what Charlie always does when I have the flu.

Edward just glared at me. Then sneezed.

"I'll be right back," I said, getting to my feet as he crawled to his bed and snuck under his covers like a sullen child. I felt awful but also a little amused.

_That's for pushing your date into a pool with her clothes on_.

Campus was a bit deserted for the day, and I walked north until I was no longer on school grounds. With some persistence, I found a perfect little whole foods store and started shopping.

"What are you looking for there?" an old man with crinkly blue eyes asked as I stared at a wall of packaged goods.

I looked at his name tag and smiled, "I'm looking for chicken soup, Jim. The kind that gets you through a cold but only needs hot water to cook."

He nodded and motioned for me to follow him. Jim stopped at a Deli counter and pointed out all the readymade soups I could purchase.

My mouth watered at the savory selection and I ordered a bit of everything.

Jim packaged it all up for me and placed it on the counter. "So, you go to Coldridge, huh?" he asked, motioning towards my uniform.

"Yes, sir."

"Good academy," he said, leaning his forearms on the counter between us. "How's Carlisle doing these days?"

It was an innocent question, but my cheeks flamed as I remembered my principle fucking the brains out of my teacher. Although, I had to admit he had stamina. It went on and on and on and—

"Boy? Did you hear me, or would you like to borrow my hearing aid?" He chuckled. "It's a good brand."

I shook my head to get the racy images out of my head and took my food. Nothing like remembering your principal's sexual deviancy to start off the day with a bang. "No, Jim, just woolgathering, I guess. Principle Cullen seems as well as ever. Why? Do you know him personally?"

"A bit. Good man. He used to come in here every so often for chocolate ice cream. Said his little Alice is fond of the stuff," Jim said with a half-smile.

I nodded. "Alice does love chocolate. It's like her only addiction. Well, that and the future."

Jim laughed. "I take it you know her well then."

"Yeah, I'm Jasper, her boyfriend. " I paused. "I'm curious, sir, if you know Alice, do you also know her twin?"

"Edward? Of course. That kid's a legend with us around here. Well, ever since the day he played that piano in the corner for five hours straight. I don't know if that's a record, but it sure as heck was admirable."

"Five hours? Why?"

Jim shrugged. "He said he couldn't sleep. And the school's music department is closed at night."

I didn't know what to make of that information, so I thanked Jim and left the store, more confused about Edward than when I entered.

_**8o8o8 MWAC 8o8o8**_

When I returned to my room, Edward was back in his heated corner, trying but failing valiantly to suppress his shivers.

"Hey, Edward. Have you been there for a while? You can't just have some Tylenol and expect the world to right itself," I said stiffly, looking down at him.

Another shiver spread through his body, and I sat down on the floor beside him, placing the large brown paper bag from the market between my feet and unrolling the top.

Edward glanced at the bag and sniffed the air with his congested nose. The sound would have been disgusting if he didn't look so cute—like a baby bird eager for breakfast.

I started unpacking the various soups in foam containers and handed him a spoon.

"Eat the chicken noodle first," I ordered. "I also have a bunch of oranges for Vitamin C, a thermometer in case your fever gets too high, and some more medicine. I wanted to get a few other things—"

"How much did it cost?" Edward cut in as he reached for his wallet, where it sat atop a dresser.

I scoffed. "Just eat your food and take another nap."

His eyes widened slightly in confusion as he considered my words. He chose not to argue.

Over the next few hours, we developed a good routine; Edward ate some warm soup for his throat along with an orange then fell asleep, I kept track of his temperature and changed his pillow cover when he sweat too much, and he woke up again for more soup or medicine.

The night was odd for me. It was odd because it was so natural. Taking care of Edward was natural.

When he woke up the next day, he seemed a lot better but stayed in bed anyway. He didn't say a word the whole weekend and soon the silent weekend melted into Monday morning.

The world seemed too peaceful when I opened my eyes, but the sound of rain answered my internal questions. The pitter patter against the windowpanes was so soothing I closed my eyes once more, but soon, my alarm clock forced me to rise and swing a leg over my bed.

Just as my foot found a solid position on the top rung of my ladder, I noticed Edward sitting on the ledge of the bedroom window as he gazed outside.

"Edward?" I asked softly.

"Morning," he said without turning. "Do you feel up for a game of basketball later? I need to move around today before I feel truly bedridden."

I smiled and said I would be "totally down to play" like Jasper said I should say to such requests.

This was the first time Edward had asked me/Jasper to spend time with him. It warmed my heart and scared me all at once.

But when he rubbed his muscles like he was still in pain, I realized that although he could, he didn't really want to play ball.

_He just doesn't know how else to say thank you._

Did anyone ever take care of this man before? Even for a minute of his life?

_**8o8o8 MWAC 8o8o8**_

I watched Edward make his way to me with bated breath. He stayed in bed today, and I missed him this morning during classes. So I was ridiculously ecstatic when he called about meeting for a quick game during lunch. The rain had let up by now as it always did, and we stood in the middle of my favorite basketball court, the one located in East Campus within a very woodsy area. Leafy canopies shielded us from any further rain, and mist eddied around us in the air.

"You look better," I commented, a silly grin probably plastered on my face.

"Yeah, well . . ."

"Yeah."

"Ready to play, Swan?"

"Ready to lose, Cullen?"

He smirked and smacked the ball out of my grip. "Even at my sickest, I can take you down."

We practically danced around the court for half an hour, getting our sneakers muddy and teasing each other mercilessly. Edward was quick with his verbal barbs, and I was even quicker.

But soon, the bell rang and I knew it was time to head back to class. "This isn't over, Cullen."

His half-crescent smile sent my hormones raging. "You bet. Well, as much as I hate to admit, though, you're good." He shook his head. "I thought Alice once said you had two left feet."

I chuckled. "She's always complimenting me, isn't she?" I joked.

The mist on his eyelashes distracted me for a moment before I registered his solemn words.

"I wouldn't know," he'd said.

My heart constricted. "I gotta go, Edward. Take care, 'kay?"

He smirked. "Oh, I will. We're gonna pound those Dolphins into the ocean floor on Friday."

"Damn straight."

I left then, heading to my next class with a light heart and a bright smile.

But I would have been crying if I knew what happened on that court after I was gone.

In fact, I never would have left.

I would have stopped James from talking to Edward.

I would have kept my secret safe.

_**8o8o8 MWAC 8o8o8**_

_**A/N: **_

_**Hi, everyone! Sorry for the long wait, but I plan to update again soon! I don't want to make any more excuses. Life just gets busy. Please drop a line and let me know what you think. **_

_**Check my profile for more definitive notes about when I'll update next.**_

_**Reviewers will get a teaser as usual. **_

_**(By the way, I changed the way I spelled Emmet to "Emmett." I figured I should do it like SM although both ways are grammatically fine.)**_

—_**Best wishes from SQ **_


	11. Fool Me Not?

The rain stunned me with its passion. It hit the ground as if it were angry with the world, and it drenched the patches of canopy overhead with vicious force. In the distance, the howling wind kicked up a mass of leaves and swirled them towards me as I fought my way towards Damen Hall after class.

But despite the nasty weather, all I could feel was hope. New and shy, it still burned brightly within me. After all, the image of Edward's smiling face and sweaty body during our basketball game followed me around all day. He'd been so happy, almost childishly carefree, and I couldn't wait to see him again. I hoped he was still in as good of a mood as he was this afternoon.

He missed many classes today, but I dropped by his teachers' offices and picked up his homework to cheer him up. Oddly enough, completing homework made Edward more upbeat.

All day long, though, I avoided Alice. I knew I was doing it. And it was clear she knew it too.

My insight into Edward's mind was too new, too raw in a way, to allow me to think straight. I wasn't sure how to approach Alice about her behavior towards her brother, and for the first time, I didn't have a clue about how she would react to any of my questions.

So I ignored her texts and sat in the fifth row instead of the first during the class we shared. The hurt look on her little face stabbed me with guilt, but I planned on speaking with her tomorrow evening in private. We watched a movie together each Tuesday night, and I could deal with everything between us then without worrying about being overheard or upsetting Alice in public. I knew she would be torn up inside about what she'd forced Edward to endure, but she had to know the truth. And she had to fix it.

Now, as I walked up the winding stairs to my dorm room, I heard pop music blasting too loud from above. Arriving on my floor, I was treated to a gratuitous view of Emmet's naked backside and his ass crack as he danced in the hallway wearing only his low-hanging swim trunks.

"That's my baby mama, baby mama, baby mama," he sang. "Yeah that's right, I got it in! Got it in, got it in…Suck it!"

"No, shut it," I said. "Edward is sick. He's probably sleeping, you maniac."

He turned around, brown eyes flashing with mirth and strands of hair swinging across his roundish face. "No, your roommate just left for the gym," he informed me. "Looked like hell, but he's Edward, so you know he has to train for the next meet anyway."

Disappointment suddenly washed through me, but I smiled. "Alright, Stinky, you go back to your dancing then."

He nodded and I turned to fish my keys from my pockets.

"I'm not a boy! Not yet a woman," Emmet sang suddenly. "All I need is time. A moment that is mine, while I'm in _between his sheets_ . . ."

Suffice it to say, I jumped the Britney-Spears-singing bastard.

Edward returned around midnight, just as most of my worries were heading to that dark and spooky place no one's imagination likes visiting. He entered the bedroom silently, shook off his shoes and avoided eye contact.

But after a minute of intensely awkward silence, he rose and climbed my ladder, headed towards where I had perched on my bed.

Just as silently as before, he sat next to me and leaned his back against the wall. His green eyes shone dangerously bright, but his expression otherwise lacked emotion.

He looked me in the eye for a long moment until I either had to break the silence or combust.

"You look better, but—er—worse. What's happened?" I asked.

Edward cocked his head slightly, his eyes narrowing. "Nothing," he said softly. "Nothing new anyway."

"Then what's changed?" I asked equally softly.

He chuckled and reached towards my hair. Confused and slightly terrified of his odd behavior, I flinched. His hand fell onto the mattress, but he leaned forward. "Did you know that Alice has a tiny mole on her upper lip?"

"Yeah."

He smiled. Like a cat. "I don't have one."

My breathing seemed heavy and painfully sluggish as I said, "You're fraternal. You have to look different."

"That's right," he said slowly. "We're fraternal. Not identical. Identical." He seemed to be tasting the word, fitting it around his tongue as he repeated it.

Then he smiled again. Sunnily this time. His demeanor just changed that quickly.

"It would be impossible to look exactly alike anyway," he announced breezily, lifting his weight off the mattress and jumping lithely to the floor. I looked down at him in bemusement, wondering how he had recovered from his illness and shed that air of depression so quickly.

"Right," I said slowly, but I think it came out as a question.

* * *

**To: IsabellaS21**

**From: CullenH20**

Hello Isabella,

Let's meet for lunch this week! The team is going off-campus on Wednesday to Mio's Pizzeria. Can you come?

Regards,

Edward

* * *

**To: CullenH20**

**From: IsabellaS21**

Edward,

I have an exam the next day. Could we go to dinner instead?

* * *

**To: Isabella S21**

**From: CullenH20**

Bella,

Yes, that sounds great. Although Emmett and Damen might tag along too, if that's okay with you. I owe them an expensive meal since I lost a bet. Apparently, Emmett can literally outeat a horse.

* * *

**To: CullenH20**

**From: IsabellaS21**

Edward,

Can we see a movie instead? I'd really like to watch that new one with John Krasinski.

* * *

**To: Isabella S21**

**From: CullenH20**

Sure, Damen is willing to let half the bet go that way.

* * *

**To: CullenH20**

**From: IsabellaS21**

Actually, I should just study more. I don't want to let my grades slip. But you guys go ahead and see a movie.

* * *

**BPOV**

I couldn't go out as Bella with all of them there to personally watch me! What the hell was Edward thinking? What the hell was I thinking?

I pushed the whole thing out of my mind for the moment.

Holding my cell tightly against my ear, I bounced on the balls of my feet while waiting for Jasper to pick up his phone.

"Hello?" His far-away voice sounded like heaven's bells pealing in the sky. I might have teared up a bit.

"Jasper!" I said excitedly, "The ant is in the locker."

"And It is eating the purple lipstick," he returned.

"AH! It's really you, bro," I said, grinning like an idiot. I turned to lean my back against the ladder of my bed.

"Yeah, sorry we haven't talked more. They're kicking my ass here, Bee," he said, pausing. "Hey, did you know that the art of crying on cue is an actual course?"

I sat down on the carpet and smiled, "Are you failing it?"

"No, Nancy, I am the only person guaranteed an A. I spent half of the first class crying to the professor about the death of my parents until she realized their names are listed as my next of kin for emergencies."

My head snapped up.

"Why did you list them? Do you want to get busted?" I whispered, somehow expecting someone to pop up behind me in my own room and declare me an imposter.

"Uh, no, but I don't want to die alone either. If something happens, they should know. And pay for any medical necessities." Jasper snickered. "Speaking of which, have they not come to visit your apartment?"

My parents were nice enough to rent an apartment for me during the year. Cheap but comfortable, it was probably the only thing they actually spent money on for my sake. Otherwise the commute to my "high school" would take over an hour, and they certainly did not want to buy me a car and keep me around. The tiny apartment was cheaper—in the short term at least, which is all they thought about.

I sighed. "Nah, you know how they are. They're happy to keep me out of their lives as much as possible. Mom calls once in a while, but the landlady said no one has come around the place."

I heard Jasper walk into something. "Dang it!"

"Uh, Jas? Should we call your next of kin now?"

"No, I'm fine."

He didn't say anything for a while, and I grew suspicious until he cleared his throat to say, "Alice says you've been ignoring her."

I didn't miss the accusing tone of his voice.

"Yeah, I have my reasons, Jas. It's only been a few days, and I'm going over to her room tonight."

He knew not to probe further. Jasper possessed that empathetic quality most guys would never understand.

"Okay, sis, now tell me about everything else. Are you kicking ass in class?"

* * *

**2 hours later**

I stood outside Alice's dorm room.

And I stood there.

And stood there.

The door slammed open, and now Alice stood there.

And we stood there.

"Can I come in?" I asked.

* * *

_**A/N: Summer's here! I do most of my writing at this time, so I plan to update more frequently. I know this chapter is short, but I wanted you guys to have something to read sooner rather than later. Keep your eyes peeled for the next update. It will be pretty steamy ;) **_


	12. Fooling with my balls, eh?

He was being more aggressive than usual. The normal heated interaction between us had given way to an abnormally forceful makeout session.

Dusk had fallen hours ago. Edward kept my face tightly between his hands as we lay across the back of his shiny new pickup truck. He pressed the entire length of his body atop mine, thrusting his tongue in and out of my panting mouth.

He held both my hands in one of his above my head. If I squirmed, he pressed against me harder, held my hands tighter, or just growled a warning into my mouth. I gave in soon, allowing the onslaught of passion I couldn't control. He seemed drunk with the power he had over my body, and I didn't bother taking it back. I enjoyed it instead.

Eventually, his kisses slowed, growing languid and lazy. He moved back only far enough to look down at me, holding me still all the while. For long moments all he did was gaze, his emerald eyes burning into mine before sweeping like smoking feathers across my cheeks.

One finger seemed to linger at the tiny beauty mark above my eyebrow.

But then his eyes grew hard and he attacked my mouth once more.

At one point, Edward released my face to run his hand up my shirt. While getting dressed earlier in a tiny T-shirt and miniskirt, I knew I'd hoped for something more tonight.

I sighed when Edward's fingers danced lightly across the tops of one breast before leaving.

I whimpered in frustration.

He smirked against my lips and soon, I felt his hand between my thighs, pulling down my flimsy black underwear. He spread the warm liquid pooling in my panties, lifting a finger to taste it. I moaned at the sight, raising my hips pleadingly for stimulation.

"Well now, Isabella," he said softly, speaking for the first time since he brought us here. "You can't expect everything to _**come **_so easily."

Easily? We'd been solely making out for so long that I felt like a wound-up toy, whose coil someone turned but prevented from turning back and allowing release.

Edward licked my collarbone before nipping it, deliberately distracting me.

Then he lightly touched my clit, sending zinging waves of pain and pleasure throughout me—pleasure at the touch and pain at the softness of it. My heart beat so fast I knew I was breathing too harshly. I moaned so vocally when Edward next touched me that he laughed. He raised his head and chuckled before finally pressing harder where I needed him most.

"Edward, please," I panted.

"Please what?" he asked against my blushing ear.

"I need…"

"Yes?"

"I need to let go!"

He bit my ear before saying, "And what does that mean?

"I just…Edward, please."

"I'm afraid I'm too stupid to understand anything, even what's right in front me, dear. So why don't you spell it out for me?"

"Edward?" I asked hesitantly.

"Tell me!" he burst out.

"I want to come, so get something inside me already!"

"So crude," he said. "But if that's how you want to play it, I'll follow your lead."

His fingers disappeared inside me, first one, then two, then three. They curled within my core before he pushed them in and pulled them out perfectly in sync with his tongue in my mouth (tonguing me in sync). I still couldn't move except to wiggle my hips in response to his fuckingly perfect touch. My lips molded to his like flesh against marble because even that part of him was unyielding tonight. He controlled it all.

He played me like his willing instrument for a long time, never letting go of my hands or removing his fingers from inside me. I whimpered and keened and cried out, but he didn't speak again.

Suddenly, he removed his fingers completely and pulled away, sitting upright.

He stared above us at the sprinkling of stars in the sky, breathing normally as I panted harshly and rubbed my thighs together, trying to quell the fire he started.

"It's late," he said. And left it at that.

I croaked his name in both question and frustration, but he didn't answer. He simply climbed into the cab of the truck and started the engine.

Sitting up with my lipstick smudged and my tangled hair around me, I couldn't speak. What had just happened? And how could he leave me with this throbbing ache?

I lay back, unsatisfied, and let him drive.

_**8o8o8o8o8o**__**8**_

Under the covers in my room, I used a flashlight to read my history textbook, so Edward could sleep. I didn't want to leave the warmth of my covers for the living area because it would get too drafty in there at night.

I'd blown off my considerable homework for the evening to go on a date with Edward Cullen. But now I regretted the decision immensely.

Nothing had come of the night except extreme dissatisfaction. Clearly I was not enough for him, and he didn't want to be enough for me. He had treated me rudely and never explained his actions.

I wouldn't allow him to play my emotions or my body that way again.

_**8o8o8o8o8o**__**8**_

In the morning, Alice was waiting hesitantly outside Damen Hall. I knew no matter what I had told her the night of our talk, she was still nervous about her decision regarding Edward.

_Alice sat on her black and pink couch, a glass of cold lemonade in her hand. She offered me one as well. _

_I shook my head and we both spent a moment gathering our courage. _

"_Are you going to explain to me why you've been treating me like I don't exist?" Alice asked finally, lifting her eyes from the glass._

"_Yes, when you explain to me why you treat Edward that same way."_

_Her eyes widened slightly and her mouth closed._

_I waited until it was clear she was not going to speak._

"_Alice," I said. "You know I love you—"_

"_What is this about, Bella?" she said, standing up. "Are you just mad I didn't mention Edward to you for a while, huh? Is that it?"_

_I stood up too. "No, but that's another example of the way you dismiss him in your life. I'm your best friend, and I didn't even know you have a brother! I met Carlisle once, so why not Edward?"_

_She looked near tears, and I knew I'd hit a nerve. "That's just it," she said. "You're my best friend. I don't want to lose you." _

"_Alice?"_

"_What if you fell in love with him back then like you have now? I always knew you would." She shook her little head. "I couldn't lose you at that time. But I finally realized that you needed to meet him, so I took you to the pool this summer. It wasn't just about getting you to come to this school."_

_She didn't understand. This wasn't about me. I touched her shoulder, and after a moment of silent cooling down, we sat again._

"_Alice, whatever we say tonight, you will always be one of the most important people in my life. Please don't ever be afraid of losing me anymore."_

_She nodded but didn't seem to believe me._

"_Look, I know I shouldn't have avoided you these past couple week," I said. "But I didn't know how to talk to you without bringing up Edward."_

_Now she looked confused as I continued._

"_Your brother, no, your twin, feels like you don't love him. You don't include him in your life, Alice. Surely you know that? Or has it been an unconscious decision?"_

_I touched her hand and she pulled away, her blue eyes sparkling a little._

"_I don't want to talk to him," she said._

_I drew in a breath, feeling sure I'd heard wrong. "But you hugged him so warmly at the pool this summer. What happened since then?"_

_She shook her head. "Nothing. I just don't like being around him."_

"_Why? You have to tell me. What's he done?"_

"_Nothing," she whispered, looking behind me._

_I turned too but there was nothing there. "Alice?"_

"_It's none of your business, Bella. Leave now please." Her voice was hollow, distant, and I knew I had to open her up to me just like when we first met. Otherwise, she'd push me away for good._

_I pounced, hugging her tightly, and not allowing her to squirm away. She shook in my arms, but soon, she relaxed against me and a little after that, a tear ran down her cheek._

_She started talking before I said anything more._

"_My father used to hit me." _

_I nodded against her head to signal I was listening. It was no surprise to me that she came from an abusive home._

"_I was really bad," she said softly— like it was a confession she didn't want anyone to hear. "I did things he didn't like. I, um, I brought a friend home one time, and I cooked the lasagna wrong and I didn't laugh at his dirty jokes about my mom and I didn't put my toys away—"_

"_Alice—"_

"_No, listen. Edward was different and perfect. Perfect grades, perfect behavior, perfect gender. He was like a little golden boy. He didn't do anything wrong."_

"_Alice, sweetie, it's not Edward's fault that your dad was sick. His actions are his fault. Not Edward's," I said gently._

_She lifted her head from my shoulder to look at me. "You think I was jealous," she said, almost in astonishment, but she looked too lifeless to display even that emotion correctly. "Never. No. Edward was perfect to me too. He took me to the park for ice cream and came to all my dance recitals. Edward was my real dad, even though he's my brother. That's why," she said, gulping, "anytime I did something wrong, Edward took my punishment."_

_I lifted a hand to my mouth; I felt a couple pieces coming together._

"_He never deserved any of it," she continued. "One time, my dad fell asleep on the living room couch. He normally couldn't do that without sleeping pills. I stepped into the room to get my bear—Ted still protects me at night— and my dad woke up. Just like that. He looked at me and I knew I was finally going to die."_

_Her voice sounded as hollow as her eyes looked._

"_He smashed a liquor bottle against a table until it was cut in half and the edges were jagged. I couldn't move. I heard Edward scream at me from the doorway, but it was like being underwater." She stepped away from me, rising to stand by an oval window. _

_Alice turned to me and cocked her head somberly to say in a monotone, "Look, Bella, the sun streaked the sky with red and purple, just like a bruise."_

_I felt sick to my stomach, and I didn't know if I should stop Alice from speaking more, or if talking was good for her in some way. But unlike my best friend, I couldn't say a word, not to stop or encourage her._

"_My dad came at me, and you can guess what basically happened next. Edward pushed him into a table and they started fighting." She closed her eyes. "But Edward was too little. He left that house with multiple fractures throughout his body, two broken ribs, a concussion, and possible brain damage._

_And I had to call a taxi to take him to the hospital in the middle of the night instead of right then. I was afraid my dad would hear an ambulance and hide Edward from the paramedics. He did that once before. Luckily, I guilted the taxi driver into letting us leave the car without payment." Her voice cracked. "But I couldn't trick the doctors. So child Services showed up the next day."_

_I found my voice long enough to say, "What about your mom? Didn't she ever step in?"_

_She snorted. "Not a chance in hell. She was happy as long as we took the heat off her. She held me up once like an offering, so he wouldn't kick her anymore."_

"_Alice," I said softly. I had nothing but her name on my tongue._

_She sat next to me again and curled up in my lap. "It's okay. I'm okay, Bella. But I know I will never let go of the guilt. I'm just like my mom, you see. Too scared to take what was meant for me and not push it on the people who love me. Everything Edward went through, it was because of me. I can barely look him in the eye. All I see are scars that should be mine."_

_I began to stroke her hair softly. "Do you love him?"_

"_More than anything," she said._

"_He's dying inside, Allie. He needs you back in his life."_

"_He's better off without me."_

"_No, sweetie. He thinks you don't love him anymore. You were so little, Alice, and just because Edward was abnormally strong, does not mean you were abnormally weak. You were a child! Love Edward, don't turn away from him instead. Please?" My voice broke as tears trekked down my face now too._

_Alice's body rocked back and forth a little. We didn't talk for a few long moments. The sun set completely behind the mountains, and we were left in the dark._

"_I only bring him pain," came her tortured whisper._

_I shook my head. "No, your dad was responsible for what you both went through. Alice, all you wanted that night was your bear. That's not a crime," I said as forcefully as I could manage._

"_All I wanted was my bear. Yeah. All I wanted was my bear," she said, nodding along with me and repeating the sentence until it grew softer, her eyes drooped, and sleep took her gently under its wings._

_In the morning, she was marginally better. We talked a little more about what haunted her. She admitted the nightmares faded from her memory painfully slowly, but she seemed resolute when she said, "I'll try to fix things with him, Bella."_

Alice came forward now, clearly worried that Edward might be around and she would have to deal with their issues sooner than she was ready.

I slung an arm casually and comfortingly, across her shoulders. "Hey, Allie. He's still in bed. Let's get us some breakfast. I'm craving a cheese omelet."

She smiled tightly as we fell into step together.

_**8o8o8o8o8o**__**8**_

The next day, I rose early for my biweekly run outside of practice. I needed the time to clear my head and run some errands.

**EPOV**

I watched Jasper head out the door. He dressed in the bathroom like he usually did—something I hadn't considered odd before now.

Making a split-second decision, I rose from bed and donned a light jacket before pulling on my sneakers.

Hidden behind the doorway to Damien Hall, I watched as Jasper stretched for his run. He leaned over, touching his toes with his fingertips, and as weird as it made me feel, I compared him to Bella for a moment. Frustratingly enough, I couldn't find any differences from this distance besides the hair.

Jasper and Bella's close resemblance had annoyed me before, but now it was downright pissing me off.

Stretched out like this—I could see it all. Tight ass, curvy thighs, and delicious hips—this was disturbing on too many levels!

But could I really trust James?

I'd been debating his pivotal words for the past few days, trying to come to terms with my own opinion. And my opinion was in line with the thoughts of the school's slickest journalist. James was a nasty piece of work, but he was the most brilliantly observant fucker in the state, if not the country. The Society of Professional Journalists thought so too. The numerous SPJ plaques in the Journalism Office were a testament to that.

Doing my own stretches now, I continued my watch over Swan until he began jogging in place.

When he finally took off, I followed.

He seemed to be heading for the edges of campus. Thankfully, keeping a large enough distance to remain unspotted and close enough to see Jasper proved to be a simple task. Lost in the music blasting in his ears, Swan didn't seem to notice anything besides the pavement before him.

Pine needles crunched beneath my feet as I took cover behind a large tree trunk. Jasper had stopped running suddenly and was glancing around. I peeked past the great pine to see Jasper's jogging form once more. I followed.

We ran past the campus border and past small stores, coming to a stop at the little business where I once played the piano for free all night long. The nightmares were too persistent that night. My mother's expressionless face had floated around me even when I woke, and the anger was greater than the fear. I had needed an escape and tore open every university building to which I had access, but the expensive music studios were always especially well guarded.

Jasper stepped inside, and I waited a few minutes before making my own entrance. Bob nodded a hello from behind the register. I smiled slightly in response and headed towards Aisle 5. I peered around the pyramid of canned food and saw Jasper grab a pack of—tampons?

He simply walked up to the shelves and picked up the package—no reading labels, no consideration of different brands, and no hesitation before heading off to the cash register.

I slunk forward, thinking I'd caught him in "the act" when he said to Bob, "Alice is menstruating heavily at the moment. She needs backup support."

I threw up a little in my mouth and waited outside until Jasper headed out too.

He broke into a jog once more on the sidewalk, the tampons swinging on his arm within a small paper bag.

A half hour later, we had reached Rocky Falls Park, a large recreational area with acres of grass and mountain trails. Jasper didn't slow down, but rather headed into a heavily wooded and deserted portion of the park. He leaned against a sprawling oak tree and rubbed his neck. Sweat dripped off his nose as he patted it with a napkin from his pocket. Tired myself, I began considering a return to Coldridge when Jasper tugged a lock of his hair.

And all his hair moved.

Then he lifted it off to reveal a skin colored cap. Hoping Jasper was just prematurely bald, I held my breath. My precious moments of ignorance were fading away.

Then that beautiful chestnut hair was cascading down her chest, and she was mopping at the beads of sweat shining just below her real hairline. I turned around to properly bang my head against the tree that was offering me cover.

The girl I loved—no, thought I loved—had been deceiving me from the start of our relationship. Both relationships.

Beneath my closed lids, I could see her as she'd been just two nights ago in my truck: writhing, pleading, beautiful. Now she was ugly. Transformed from a princess to a villain. A creature of the lowliest depths of Earth, and I couldn't bear to look at her any more.

Fuming from shame, anger, and disgust, I ran away from Isabella Swan.

_**8o8o8o8o8o**__**8**_

**BPOV**

"Ode to the chestnut," I said. "Ode to the pine. Ode to the bluefish sucking my spine."

I was bored and speaking to the friendly air around me. Having been too exhausted to head back to Coldridge just yet, I sat in the park and listened to the birds for a half hour. I soon fell asleep for another few hours beneath a tree and finally woke to the sight of a beautiful sunset.

Understandably, I offered an ode to nature.

But remembering Alice, I got up, arranged my hair, and headed to campus for dinner with my friend.

_**8o8o8o8o8o**__**8**_

The rooster cock-a-doodled. I turned over in my bed and huffed in response. He wailed at me again and I shot up in bed, a feather stuck to the side of my mouth from my torn pillow.

"Oy!" I cried. Then I realized we didn't have a rooster . . .

WTF?

Looking around for the origin of such godlessness, I spotted Edward's phone on his dresser. He used it as an alarm clock, but what the hell happened to upbeat jazz music? Were cocks in every form just determined to haunt me?

In an interval of silence, I turned off the phone and peered at Edward's sleeping face. Should I wake him up? Clearly, his pseudo alarm clock wasn't working for him.

I stepped towards him just as his hand shot out from atop his duvet. Still asleep on his stomach with his face against the pillow, he grasped my thigh. I tried stepping back, but his fingers tightened and began stroking the skin beneath my shorts. I felt myself tremble slightly. What kind of dream was Edward having?

His hand flattened against my thigh, just beneath the fabric. I heard him moan before his hand began inching higher.

Then I noticed him rubbing himself against the mattress and felt horrified at what he was doing with who he thought was Jasper. I jumped backwards, but as he shot up in bed towards me, Edward's hand remained around my thigh for a moment before letting go.

He stretched out his arms and yawned, his abs peeking slightly from beneath his black wife-beater. He looked at me serenely. Then with a nod and nothing else, he left for the bathroom.

Disturbed, I leaned against the window and slid to the ground. Was this regular behavior between guys? Did they all just feel that comfortable with each other? No. Yes. Maybe?

Was it me? Had I caused this?

Had I broken down all walls of normalcy with the very amorous behavior Emmett had warned me I was unconsciously exhibiting?

I stared beneath Edward's bed, unseeing for a few minutes, until I noticed a piece of paper down there. Curious, I made sure Edward was still gurgling mouthwash in the bathroom before I pulled out what happened to be an open magazine.

And my eyes were immediately assaulted with well-groomed testicles and oiled men hugging in interesting ways.

_Edward is gay! Holy shit on a stick._

Was this why he'd pulled away from me in the truck during our date?

My world was crumbling.

"NO!" I cried. "Why, lord? Why? Not him!"

"Jasper? Are you okay?"

I crammed _Balltastic Magazine_ back from whence it came and sat up.

Edward entered the room in his tight briefs, and I knew I should have seen the signs earlier. Like the boner pointed straight at me.

"Jasper?"

I continued staring at his penis as he turned to the side, conveniently showing off the massive tent he'd produced in my presence.

"I'm fine," I whispered. "I'm not dying or anything. I think."

"Okay. And, Jasper?"

"Yeah?"

"Do these briefs make my butt look big?"

* * *

**A/N: Poor Bella is heartbroken. :P What would you do in her case? Reviewers get a teaser of next chapter!  
**


	13. The Fool is Victor

**_The Huddle and Pre-Meet Pep Talk:_**

**Edward Cullen: ….Basically, what I'm saying is, if we lose, I will haunt you forever and tear apart your carcasses.**

**Damien Hale: Is that really what you call inspiring, Edward?**

**Edward Cullen: Well, it worked for the fascists.**

**Jasper Swan: Yeah, I think Edward's on to something.**

**Edward Cullen: Shut it. (pauses) And I mean that in the most uplifting way possible.**

**Jasper Swan: I just meant—**

**Edward Cullen: Fucking hell, Swan! Silence. Or do you want me to pants you? So you can show off that tiny dick my sister loves so much?**

**Jasper Swan: (speechless)**

**Kevin Handelsberg, the elder Timely Twin: I have stuff that can help you with shutting your mouth, Jasper. Don't look at me like that. It's legal in South America.**

**Jasper Swan: (speechless)**

**Jack Handelsburg: I'm pretty sure it'll help with the tiny cock situation too.**

**Edward Cullen: (shakes head, frustrated) Alright then, everyone. Traditional cheer on three. One! Two! Three!**

**Everyone chants: Go, Crocs, go! Steal the show! Go, Crocs, go!**

**Jack and Kevin: Go, cocks, go! Time to blow! Go, cocks, go!**

_**8o8o8o8o8o**__**8**_

BPOV

I lay on a bench outside Damen Hall as I considered all the ways I'd gone wrong when dealing with Edward's sexuality. I had pushed him away once as he tried to kiss me, and he looked pretty upset about it then. _But I was driving! _

_Who knows? Maybe those little things have caused a lasting change in the man I want to—or once wanted to—marry._

_Bite me, World._

Near tears, I finally trudged up the stairs in Damen Hall, and reached the final landing just as my cell phone rang.

It was Edward. How did he get Bella's number?

Shit.

I ignored the call and entered my living room to see Edward plopped on the couch with his cell glued to his ear, presumably leaving "me" a message. He nodded his head at me in greeting.

"Isabella," said Edward, his voice stretching the name like candy into the phone. "I miss you, sugar tits. I didn't get a real chance for a home run yet, so I'm looking forward to seeing you again."

I stopped behind the couch and turned to stare at the back of Edward's head in shock.

"I want to bruise your skin with my mouth. I want to suck you, Isabella—everywhere. Do you want that, too? Do you crave my tongue, my hands, my cock? Do you want to roleplay? I'll be the naughty cop who takes you from behind. And when I say behind, I mea—"

"EDWARD CULLEN!"

"One second, sugar tits." Edward put a hand over the phone. "I'll be with you soon, Jasper. Patience." He continued his call, saying, "Sorry, that was your brother. Call me soon about our next date. And wear that slutty top I like so much. The one that shows your nipples when they get hard. Bye, baby. Be sure to dream of me fucking you 'til you scream."

He flipped his phone shut with practiced flair and faced me again. "Sorry, did you want to say something?"

My mouth gaped open, and I didn't know how to act. Confusion and fury warred with each other somewhere in my brain, leaving Broca's Area frozen, and therefore me, speechless.

He cocked his head slightly. "Well, before you say anything, would you mind explaining the presence of _those?"_

Edward pointed to the table behind the couch, where a number of tampons lay strewn across the surface. I didn't remember leaving them there. I stared back at him, his eyes hard, before I squeaked a reply, "Alice."

He nodded his head. "Yeah, normally that excuse would work, but she hasn't been here in weeks. She's avoiding me. Oh, don't look at me like that. I notice when my sister doesn't want to so much as glance at me."

The pounding in my head intensified. "Well, I bought them _for_ Alice and haven't had the chance to give them to her yet. I got curious and opened the box."

"Curious?"

"Uh huh."

"How so?" he asked, a smirk tugging a corner of his mouth.

"I dunno . . . They just look so . . . so . . . fluffy."

"Fluffy?"

"Yeah, like pillows."

"So you want to build a tampon pillow."

"Maybe. Anything's possible," I said, lifting my chin in defiance.

Edward stood up and smiled. "I'll help then. With your tampon pillow."

And that is how an impromptu session of arts and crafts began and soon spiraled out of control on the fourth floor of Damen Hall. Pasted to posters, sewn together like a string of lights, and dangling from the lamps, tampons ended up everywhere in our living room. Edward pranced around it all, using an opened tampon to clean the shades and smiling at me every now and then.

I watched on in horror, and I have to admit, some amusement.

"Cullen?"

Edward looked up from his position beneath a table, where he was wiping the underside with a pad that appeared out of nowhere three minutes ago. "Yeah?"

"I'm going to bed now."

"But what about the tampon bunny I suggested? We can soak it in cherry juice so it becomes the proper pink color."

I smiled, though it probably looked more like a grimace, and left without another word.

In my room, I began hurling clothes from out my dresser as I searched for my notepad with Jasper's long international phone number. Screw the unfair prices! I had to call my brother because _desperate times called for desperate measures. _

"Jasper? Jasper?" I whispered frantically from where I huddled against the corner of the wall atop my bed. "Pick up."

"Hello?" a faint voice finally answered.

"Jaz, I need you so much right now."

"Ew."

"Jaz!"

"I'm just taking a leaf out of your book. Sheesh. What's wrong, MiniMe?"

"What did you just call me?" I asked, glaring at a wall.

"Doesn't matter. What's wrong over there in the states?"

I sighed and banged my head against a wall. "Edward wants to make a tampon bunny."

"I see. And you find the act disagreeable?"

"Jasper!"

"So is this why Alice just leave me a message saying Edward has gone insane?"

"She did what?"

"Kidding. She said you think he's gone insane, but you shouldn't worry."

"Huh? Explain."

"That's all I know. Besides, what do you want me to say? I've always maintained that your plan to get a guy while being a guy is insane. Now you're surprised that you've driven the poor boy insane?"

"Twin, what the hell are you trying to tell me?" My voice squeaked in the middle of my question.

"That you need to come clean if you want any real answers."

I laughed humorlessly, saying, "Now you've gone crazy, too."

"Just think about it, MiniMe."

_**8o8o8o8o8o**__**8**_

Twenty minutes into team practice the next Friday afternoon, we were all instructed to dive into the pool from the board and immediately begin a warm up of twenty laps. Smirking at all of us, Emmett executed the perfect dive, his form a perfect line as it pierced the water. Damien dog whistled before following, his body rippling when his muscles bunched and released. My heart was still taken, but this was certainly a mouthwatering display.

I noticed Edward scowling at them before he leaped as well.

As soon as he was off, I took my position on the diving board and entered the water. But after a few moments, I felt something was wrong, and even beneath the water I could hear the screaming.

Stopping my breaststroke to tread water, I looked around for the sound of all the noise.

"Ow," I cried as something very hard slammed into me.

"Sorry," said Edward at my left. "Why the hell did you stop?"

I motioned towards Coach Drake at the door to the locker rooms. Edward's eyebrows scrunched as he took in the sight of our coach shouting profanities at a student.

"That's James," Edward groaned. "Not again. That fucker has to learn his place."

The student journalist?

I watched Edward pull himself on the pool ledge, water dripping in torrents from his body as he straightened up and headed for the source of all the drama. He held his head high, and the swagger of his hips in a swimsuit made me moan. Glancing around frantically, I thanked my stars that no one noticed. Heads were already popping out of the water as we all gave Drake and James our attention.

"…the last time!" Drake was saying. "Where does your editor get off sending you here? You're fucking sneaking around like a criminal instead of a being self-respecting reporter."

"Sir, I was not—" James shouted right back.

"Oh hell no, you are not allowed to address that me that way, boy. Get away from my pool, you overgrown pansy-ass child. And stay away. Far the fuck away. If Anderson hears of this—"

"Sir! Don't—"

"Oh, I will. If I see you again, you can be sure of it."

"James?" Edward asked calmly as he entered the escalating argument.

James visibly brightened before he replied, "Hello, Cullen. Done anything about my tipoff yet?"

Edward's body language changed in the second before he delivered his response. He became menacing. "Your tipoff was nothing but a distraction tactic meant to throw us off our game. This team is going to nationals, and nothing you and your bloody newspaper can cook up will stop that."

James turned red. "You know very well that I—"

"Destroy dreams for fun? Yeah, I do. But your extracurricular activities don't interest me anymore, Smith. Leave."

I could see steam emerging from James's ears, and the sight made me feel oddly satisfied.

"Fine," he bit off. Turning to the pool at large, his voice rang out, "But remember that I'll be watching you. Every tryout. Every meet. Every shady thing you've done to get as far as you have this season. And when I have proof, I'm taking it to _Carlisle_ Cullen." He turned back to Edward. "You know I'm right. Your own father will be the one to throw your ass out of school."

Storming out after his short, but in my opinion, chilling monologue, James left a heavy silence behind him.

But as the ice in the room melted, I asked Conan to my left while he treaded water, "What just happened?" Unfortunately, my voice trembled against my will.

Conan's honey-colored eyes gazed down at me kindly. He always treated me like I was breakable, and until now, I had found it annoying. Now, I needed reassurance.

Conan shook his head sadly. "James Smith is the reason we lost the national title last year. He told the judges about the water boy we had at the time who was taking steroids. The kid never even got in the pool to compete, but since he was technically a part of our team, we were disqualified. As you can see, we no longer have a water boy."

Ah. So Smith was a slimeball. And he had it in for all I cared about. My instincts were correct on that front.

"Wait, Conan, who's Anderson?"

"You haven't heard of the guy?" Conan's eyes widened. "But three years ago—"

"Oh, no, I remember now! Sorry, my head was spinning for a moment from all the excitement." Shit.

His eyes narrowed for a moment, but he let it go the way some people let go wondering how they lose their keys all the time. Even after they put them in their pockets.

"Okay, everyone," Drake called to us. "I need to talk to Edward, so you're all dismissed for the night. This is the only time I will cancel practice early. DO NOT GET USED TO IT."

Chattering away, we all got out of the pool and headed to get changed. As I passed by Edward, I could see his head slightly down. It was a slight change that was very unlike him. If I didn't know any better I would have thought he was dreading the talk with Coach. Perhaps Smith had something on Edward? But what could he have possibly done to deserve the glare Drake was sending his way? Then the glare turned on me, and I know I looked confused as hell when I walked past.

In the locker room, everyone was buzzing with predictions.

"Someone is taking steroids again."

"Nah, someone just doesn't have the required GPA to go to nationals this year. Ahem, Jack."

"I killed that sheep, and now it's back to bite me in the butt."

"You did what?"

"Huh? Nothing."

Emmett stepped out of the armpit long enough to offer, "Maybe this is about that stick up Drake's ass. It has to be against some rule to sexually please yourself during meets."

"Like that anal plug gracing your ass?" Damien shot at him, visibly upset about the whole situation, and well, everyone's always upset about Emmett's gassy ass anyway.

"Fuck you, Damien. My Rosie pleases me perfectly well, thanks."

I sat there, in the middle of it all and on top of a bench, trying to fight off the welling panic.

_What if James dug deeper and found out about Edward being gay? Is there some rule about gay men playing on a men's team? I think our school requires that anyone on a gender-specific team be upfront about their sexuality. I think._

_Shit. Was that why Drake was glaring at Edward? And that guilty look. Oh no._

My dreams were about to go down the drain all because Edward didn't want my pussy anymore. I destroyed this team! And my dreams to boot. Plus my love life on the side.

_**8o8o8o8o8o**__**8**_

Well, Edward certainly didn't seem happy when he came back from meeting with Drake. He was stinking up the dorm room, to be honest.

I just stayed on my bed most of the time until he arrived. I remembered there was a party in the quad tonight. A bonfire that most people would probably attend, but I wanted to chill with Alice instead. So when Edward showed up, I told him I'd be leaving campus for the night to visit my parents.

In Alice's room, I changed into Bella and took a deep breath, trying to feel more like myself and less like a man stuck in a horrible situation.

Alice took pity on me. "Let's watch _Pride and Prejudice._ That always gets us into a good mood."

I agreed, and we spent the next two and a half hours watching the first half of the BBC miniseries that always made us smile.

But somewhere during all this, someone started knocking feverishly on the door.

Alice brandished her bat, and I stepped forward in my kick-ass pose. It was meant to instill fear and allow for the best roundkick in the western United States.

Alice stepped forward bravely and peered into the peephole. "I can't see anything," she whispered.

"Fuck, whoever it is has probably covered the hole."

Alice nodded and took a deep breath. "I have a feeling I should open the door."

"Alice, no, what the fuck?" There was only a thin door keeping me away from a potential villain, and I wanted to keep it that way.

"I'm pretty sure, Bells. Trust me." She turned the lock and swung open the door without another word.

"Alice."

It was Edward. I couldn't believe it. And apparently, neither could Alice.

Edward nodded at me in greeting, but his attention was clearly on his sister, who was cowering against the open door. He reached out a long hand to cup her face, and pulled her closer to his body. The difference in their height and build was extremely obvious this way. He towered over her slight figure, and she was shivering like a twig.

Edward considered her for a moment, his eyes a deeper green than I'd ever seen them. And in a move so fast I barely caught it, he swept Alice's feet off the floor and placed her into his arms. I knew I should leave, but my eyes were glued to the scene, and my feet were glued to the floor.

"I just listened to you message, Allie," Edward whispered so softly I could hardly make out his words. "What took you so long?"

Alice seemed to steel herself before she raised her eyes to his. "Bella brought me back to you."

Edward's eyes widened, something flared, and he asked, "What do you mean?"

"She showed me that I was hurting you by staying away instead of helping you. I thought—"

"Alice," he murmured sadly, tipping her face up and running a finger down her cheek to gather the seeping moisture.

"I missed you," she burst out before the sobs overwhelmed her.

They sat on the carpet by the fire; Alice lay curled up like a fragile china doll in Edward's arms. She barely stirred, and he kept his eyes closed, seemingly savoring the time with his twin.

I lay down on the couch until Alice fell soundly asleep, her soft snoring now audible. Edward finally lifted his face from the crook of her head and seemed to realize I was still there.

He tipped his head towards the bedroom, and I nodded. Together, we settled Alice beneath her covers and tiptoed out of her room. Edward followed me to the couches and took my arm.

I glanced back at him, surprised at the touch.

He inhaled deeply before saying, "I'm sure you have questions about how I've treated you lately."

Warily, I nodded.

"Isabella, it's been a very confusing time for me recently, and I want to apologize for taking out my frustrations on you. Right now, I really want to thank you for your role in guiding Alice back into my life."

I opened my mouth, but he cut me off.

"Wait. I'm sure Jasper was the one to tell you about our odd estrangement." At this, I blushed in embarrassment, and he continued, "but while I wouldn't have forgiven him for it before, now I think you both deserve more from me than I've been willing to give: an open mind."

"Edward, I'm not sure what you mean sometimes, but that night in your truck—"

"A mistake—"

"Yeah, a big one. You played with me like I was a toy you could just wind up and let go. I'm human, and you need to start treating me with respect."

To his credit, Edward really did look remorseful. His eyes seemed different.

I continued my mini-rant, saying, "And that disgusting phone message you left recently! What the hell were you thinking calling me 'sugar tits'?" What am I? Boob-shaped cotton candy?"

Edward placed a finger on my lower lip. He stared at it almost in fascination. "I'm sorry. I did that deliberately because I was pissed off, and while I'd like to explain to you why, I think I need more time processing my own feelings. For now, can we negotiate a truce and return to the way things were before I acted like a jackass?"

I left him hanging for a few moments. Then I raised myself on my toes and pecked his cheek.

Edward smiled and crushed me against him. His lips molded against mine, and his hands lay splayed across the small of my back.

When his tongue began to dance in my mouth, the truth finally came to me.

_There is no way this man is gay._


	14. A Fool of the Past

**A/N: A short chapter to help me declare I'm back from hiatus: **

His feet pounded the ground with frightening ferocity while unbidden images flit across his awareness in quick succession: toddler Alice gripping his pinkie as they lay shoulder to shoulder in her tiny bed, Isabella's single dimple mocking him after a pathetic joke, Carlisle's blue eyes landing on his sunken face for the first time, Eva's blood-speckled golden hair—

Edward collapsed onto his knees. The dew-damp grass soaked through his clothing as he fought to regain his bearings, but the blood continued its noisy rush through his ears. The air thickened and the weight of it pressed his body forward until his back curved and his forehead banged against the dirt.

He could smell it. The dirt and sweat and blood invaded his nostrils, lifting the dust from the past—swirling it—blowing it up—

And within seconds of attempting to repress it, the memory overtook him.

He was huddled inside the closed dumpster, his whimper echoing around him. And for the millionth time on that ravenous evening, he felt centuries younger than the thirteen-year old adult he strove to become.

The noises outside escalated in pitch. Two gunshots rang. A pause. A third gunshot pierced the night.

"The first two were for bruising my balls. The last one was for good measure," a man's voice hissed.

Edward shivered, sinking further into the black bags beneath him. He knew being seen would only invite death. Yet he also worried for the dying body surely resting mere feet away. Finally, he heard footsteps pattering away from the soulless scene, and after a couple minutes, he propped the top of the dumpster up a crack. A peek proved the armed man had left, while the victim still breathed.

The boy jumped lithely from the stench-ridden space into the darkness of the world and kneeled by the unnaturally bent form of a woman. Blood seeped from the visible holes in her torso and chest. Torrents of the liquid had already pooled around her.

"I'll go get someone," he whispered shakily.

A hand reached out with unexpected energy and gripped his wrist lightly. Somehow, Edward silenced the scream bubbling within.

"No," the woman, or girl, said. "Seconds left. Stay."

Edward looked into her face for the first time. Skin a stark-white—her eyes a pale blue—her lips chapped from the cold. The look she wore was of desolation and unspeakable pain.

He knew. She was kin.

So he lay his long form beside her. One hand reached for her cold one and held tightly. A bloodstained gray scarf around her neck dipped into the frozen blood around them. She stared at him, the ghost of a frown playing on her lips.

"Eva," said the almost-corpse.

"Eva," he responded, "you're almost there."

Her eyes remained open as he watched them grow blind.

**_8o8o8o8o8o8_**

Dripping sweat, Edward pushed himself off the grassy ground of the deserted sidewalk. The sun shone nauseatingly on his face, and he felt parched. But as his head lifted, he realized he faced an alleyway. Irrational terror shivered up his spine, just as he tamped it down.

Even more irrationally, he decided to enter the darkened space. If he could not fight intangible fears, then he would damn well face the tangible ones with his back straight and his blood calm.

The air in the alley stank of criminality and spilled liquor. And as he stood considering the eerily familiar dumpster before him, a furry head burst forth from between the overflowing black bags. Edward's lips curved upward as a baby beagle cocked its brown and white head.

He stepped forward and pulled a dirty chicken bone out of the puppy's mouth. He felt surprised at how easily the dog submitted, and he replaced the trash with the meat from the sausage sandwich in his pocket. Floppy ears waving, the little creature tore the food apart in seconds.

"Another stray," he said. "Well, you've found the right guy."

He lifted the trembling little body from the filth and held it under his jacket, feeling it curl trustingly against his warm stomach.

**_8o8o8o8o8o8_**

Edward stepped into his room and watched Jasper's eyes take in their new roommate. To his, or more correctly, her credit, Isabella only seemed shocked for a moment. Then her eyes melted.

"Only the guys on the team can know," she said, referring to the housing policy against pets.

Edward nodded and entered the bathroom to wash up his new pal.

"Jasper, what are you doing for the Thanksgiving break?" he called to her as the faucet water warmed.

She came to stand in the doorway and leaned against the doorjamb. "Well, all I know is that I'll be staying here. It's only a couple days of vacation. And home would be boring since my sister is going to Vegas with her friends. "

"Yeah, she told me," said Edward, amused. He stoppered the sink and placed the squirming beagle in the growing pool of water. With a bar of scented soap, Isabella scrubbed the brown and white head. She noted the adorable black fur on the tips of the pup's overlong ears.

"I think he's enjoying it," she chuckled, watching his lolling tongue and wagging tail with interest.

Edward's gaze remained on her gentle hands as they cared for the hungry, trembling creature—his canine doppelganger, really—and remembered how she had soothed him when he was little and hungry by bandaging his knee.

Odd, he thought, how the tiniest moments could mean as much as the life-shattering ones.


	15. Fools in Trouble

**Jasper/Bella: (strokes the dog's belly) He bit Conan yesterday. Conan is this dorm's resident dog-whisperer. How could our little guy sink his teeth into Conan of all people? **

**Edward: Is this going to affect Conan's swimming?**

**J/B: No, but his big toe will be sore for a couple days.**

**Edward: Then, I don't care. **

**J/B: (slow claps in the empty room) I give you our team captain, everyone.**

**Edward: …**

**J/B: Right. In any case, we really need to name our new pet. I can't keep calling him Little Guy. **

**Edward: I guess so.**

**J/B: Well? Any ideas? **

**Edward: Yeah. Evan. **

**J/B: That's random. Shouldn't he be called Floppy or Bitesy or something?**

**Edward: Not unless you want a bucket of ice water for a wake up call. (pauses) And the name is not random. I consider it a variation of Eva. **

**_8o8o8o8o8o8o8_**

"So, when exactly are you heading to Vegas?" Edward asked as he passed me a slice of cake from the picnic basket he had packed.

We sat poolside at midnight in Hale Hall, our bare toes dipping into the water—mimicking the night of our first date, except this one included two glowing candles and many moist deserts.

"I leave tomorrow morning," I responded, kissing his lips slowly before pulling back to dig into my cake. It practically melted atop my tongue and made me cry tears of joy. I have a thing—an unhealthy thing—for fudge, and my damn boyfriend was exploiting that one crucial vulnerability.

"Thanks for spending the evening with me then," he said softly.

"There's nowhere I'd rather be. You know that," I said absentmindedly, still massacring the floury piece of paradise on my plate.

"Yes, well, I did promise you something slathered with fudge."

The amusement in his expression did not escape me, but I did him the kindness of ignoring it. I had more important things to do. Mainly eating.

"How's Evan fitting in, by the way?" I asked.

"Just fine."

"That's nice."

"Bella, have you ever given thought to attending another one of my swim meets?" asked Edward, looking down at his own desert.

I paused. How had I overlooked how terrible it was of me to avoid his competitions as Bella? A girlfriend should be more supportive than I had been, but how could I juggle being a boy in the water and a girl on the stands all at once?

Edward's pout sealed it for me though.

"I'm sorry to have been so busy," I said. "I'll definitely try and make it to the next one."

He pressed his lips to my forehead. "Did you know your brother has been killing it out there?"

My heart soared. "You think so?"

He leaned in to whisper in my ear. "The kid has been constantly breaking school records." Warm lips trailed over to my neck. "Form has moved from good to great." A kiss to my cleavage. "Smoother transitions between laps."

I moaned.

"Butterfly kick still needs work."

I pushed him back. "What?!"

He sighed. "Coach doesn't even let him swim in that individual event. And it's damaging his individual IM time."

"But—."

He pulled me closer, hushing me with a kiss.

"I just need him to work harder at improving, Bella," he began. "No one else comes close to my individual butterfly and that can be good, except that no one on _my_ team comes close either. I need someone to help us win more points in that event. I'm the only one placing right now."

Dammit. "You're right. I'm sure he'll try harder."

"I know he will, honey. Don't tell him I told you so, but he'll be crucial in getting us to the finals this year."

The shit-eating grin on my face could not be contained. "I won't say a word."

"So business as usual then?" he asked.

"Huh?" I replied.

"Nothi—"

"I THINK I LEFT THE BANANA IN HERE!" a male voice shouted.

Edward looked at me in alarm, as I laughed.

"What do you think that's all about?" I asked.

"Bella."

"Yes?"

"We need to run now." Edward shot up and began packing.

I blew out the candles while trying to understand the fear in his eyes.

"Explain, mister," I hissed.

"You know we're not supposed to be here after hours."

"But why is it suddenly such a big deal if we are?"

Edward grabbed me by the chin. "Did you or did you not hear the drunken voice of Dr. Banner headed our way?"

"Banner? What's a teacher doing here in the middle of the night?" I tossed the still-smoking candles in our basket as we sprinted to the exit.

"Hale Hall is the faculty dorm. How do you not know this?"

"Why am I expected to know anything about your school?" I whispered angrily.

He rolled his eyes.

"WHY DO BANANAS WEAR SUNTAN LOTION TO THE POOL? BECAUSE THEY PEEL, DAMMIT."

The shouting was getting louder and therefore closer. Too close.

We turned sharply right before the exit. Edward grabbed my hand and darted into the bleachers, where we lay flat against the floor and—in my case—prayed.

"THE INTERNET IS RIGHT. I LOVE THE GLOBS OF FAT ON YOUR CHEST, BABE. WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LOVE THE GODDAMN FAT ON MY BELLY?"

By the sound of it, Dr. Banner had entered and someone was making shushing noises beside him.

"Hush, dearie. Let's get you back to your room now, shall we?" said a distinctly British voice.

"Dr. Willsworth?" whispered Edward and I at once in shock.

I peeked over the dirty stair in front of me to see my English professor kiss Banner soundly on the mouth.

Had the entire academy gone stark raving mad?

"Bella?"

"Yes, Edward?"

"What is it about you that gets me into these situations?"


	16. Lovesick Fools

Our mad dash from Hale Hall to the northern campus dorms felt exhilarating. Crisp autumn leaves crunched beneath our feet, and the whistling wind held the icy note of an approaching winter.

We sprinted, stumbled, and snorted in laughter.

"Was that a cat? It looked evil."

"I don't know, crazy lady. Just keep going."

"Watch out for that cracked step!"

"Ouch."

"Warned you so."

At last, we came to a stop at Damen Hall's main entrance.

"Come upstairs?" asked Edward.

"But what about my brother?"

"Jasper might be out. Sometimes, he sleeps over at Alice's dorm," said Edward quickly. "I try not to think about it."

I smiled. "Up for me it is then."

His eyes shone in excitement before he turned and practically slammed his ID through the scanner.

"Come on, woman."

Once we reached the third-floor landing, Edward rushed forward to open our door, move past the living area, and peek inside the bedroom for a glimpse of Jasper.

"All clear," he said, smiling. He tilted his head to invite me in.

I pretended to give the place a perfunctory once-over while my heart beat in nervous anticipation. "I like it. Very homey."

He pressed a soft kiss to my forehead and stepped back to say, "Thanks." Pushing the hair off my forehead with one hand, he slid the knuckles of the other down to rest against my cheek.

"Bella," he breathed. "You still stun me. Just please know that you control tonight's pace. Understand? I expect nothing but honesty."

My heart filled to the brim with interwoven strands of joy and guilt at his words. "I understand."

A bark sounded.

Evan, tail wagging, sprang at me. I picked the hyper little thing up and laughed to feel his leathery tongue swiping at my cheek.

I turned to see Edward watching us closely. He smiled after a moment and plucked Evan from my arms. The puppy growled at him in annoyance.

He lifted Evan by his underarms to meet his eye. "Yeah, yeah, I get it. But don't steal my thunder tonight. Okay, boy?"

Evan barked.

"How'd you get out of your cage anyway?" asked Edward.

I may have forgotten to lock it.

He put Evan down and led us to the couch in the living area before turning on the stereo. The soft strains of a Chopin piece started to permeate the room like a heady perfume.

I stared at the familiar lines of my man's back, so strong and straight. He carried so very much on those muscled shoulders of his. These past few weeks, he'd opened up gradually, telling me the stories of his troubled childhood, the insights of his adolescence, and the oddities of his adulthood.

He hated himself at times.

I found him glorious always.

"Edward?" I asked.

"Yes?" Green eyes turned to me.

I patted the couch seat beside mine, and he smiled.

"I have a better idea," he whispered.

He tugged me into his arms and sat us down. "Much better."

I laughed and stole a kiss, which he seemed reluctant to break for quite a while. His hands roamed, and mine sunk happily into his floppy hair. I tugged at the strands and hummed into his mouth.

A jerky movement got us aligned differently, and he thrust his hips upwards reflexively. At my moan, he flipped me onto my back along the length of the couch and bit my neck lightly.

My hands snuck under his shirt to stroke chilled skin. I giggled to feel abdominal muscles contract in response to my flattened palm. I let a hand wander lower.

He stopped me.

I lifted my eyes to meet his.

"Edward?"

His forehead pressed against mine, our ragged breaths mingling.

"Bella, did I ever tell you about the first girl I ever slept with?"

"What?"

"Sorry. Let me rephrase. Did I ever tell you why I chose to lose my virginity early?"

I shook my head, torn between confusion and anger.

"It's my most closely guarded secret." His mouth tightened.

I touched his face. "Baby?"

"I felt dirty. Like my arteries and veins housed muck instead of blood, and for some reason, the thought of being in someone else seemed like a good way of cleansing myself."

My vision grew cloudy. He kissed the tears away and continued, "But Bella, I don't want those kinds of thoughts or feelings to intrude on us tonight. I want to be inside you because you mean the world to me. Because I want to be a part of you without losing any part of myself. Let's share instead of take."

"Edward." I wrapped my legs around his torso and squeezed.

"So now, Bella . . ."

"Yes?" I asked.

"Is there anything you'd like to share with me?"

I paused and then said, "You mean the world to me too."

He pulled back slightly. What was that emotion lurking in the murky green depths of his eyes? Disconcertion? Bafflement? No. Disappointment. But why?

"I see."

Fear filled my bones, but I had to say it. "Edward?"

He pressed against me harder. "Yes?"

"I love you."

He searched my eyes. I don't know what he found, but he laughed lightly—somewhat sadly. "I love you too."

Then he dropped his weight atop me and let us simply be for a long moment.

"Aren't you going to take me to your bed?" I asked.

"Not tonight."

"What? Why?"

"You're not ready. _We're_ not ready."

**_8o8o8o8o8o8o8_**

I left in the morning.

I fell asleep on the couch after Edward refused to elaborate about his reservations. I realized he might have sensed a level of dishonesty in our relationship. I had refused to peel that layer back, and the guilt tugged at my heartstrings.

He would hate me if he knew. Could I risk that?

Essentially, I'd infiltrated his swim team, a safe haven he cherished. Considering his initial reaction to Jasper attempting such a sin, I knew it would be infinitely worse if he realized Bella had done it all while beginning a relationship with him.

So I stewed in my misery like a mushy tomato in soup.

Leaving Damen Hall as Bella, I continued to mull it over—

Only to walk straight into James.

He had pulled his silvery blond hair back into a ponytail, which accentuated his sharp nose and cold eyes. I noticed the reporting notepad, clutched at his side with the tips of his fingers, and my heart began to race.

"Hi," I mumbled and made to move aside.

"Now hold on there. What's the rush?"

I gulped. "I have to get home. It's a long drive and I'd rather not hit traffic."

He laughed. "It's a holiday, so there isn't going to be any traffic. Besides, you wound me. It's like you never want to be around me."

"Actually, I don't believe we've ever met."

"Oh no?" A step forward.

From behind me: "Is there a problem here, James?"

I turned to see Edward, shirtless and fuming, as he leaned against the doorjamb of the main entrance. He crossed his arms. "Well?"

James looked frustrated. "Seems you've got a good thing going for you, eh, Edward? A winning team and a little something on the side all at once?"

I blushed at his blatant perusal of our relationship.

Edward grew red too, but in anger. "I told you before, you're not only wrong, you're a disgusting piece of filth. Hanging around my dorm at daybreak for a glimpse of a little something? Mind your own business, Cooper."

"I'm a journalist, _Cullen. _My business is the truth, and if I have to sit on a grimy stoop for hours, I'll do it. You are putting this school's rank and reputation on the line with your debauchery."

"No, but I will hang your neck with the line if you don't get out of my face. Come near my Bella again, and you will _snap._" Edward uncrossed his arms and stepped onto the stone pavement.

James stumbled backward. "I used to think better of you, Cullen, or I wouldn't have approached you privately in hopes you'd make the right choice. Seems like heroes do fall."

He sprinted off, all while scribbling in his notepad.

My heart only beat faster as I turned to Edward and demanded, "What the hell was that about? What is it he knows?"

Edward stared at James' retreating back for a moment, eyes unfocused. "He's too nosy for his own good. Don't worry about him."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that he has suspicions without substantial evidence as well as a boatload of shit that's only going to sink soon. _You_ should be getting home."

He pulled me forward to take my face in his hands.

"Edward?" I breathed.

"Yes?"

"You can tell me anything."

He smiled. "So can you."

"Can I?"

"Yes, but be warned that my bite is worse than my bark." He kissed my collarbone before scraping his teeth against my throat.

I punched him.

"Oy. I'll need that shoulder for next week's meet."

Feeling better about us, I kissed him lightly on the lips. "Goodbye then, my love."


End file.
